Ok, just another list I'll be updating periodically.
Since I'm a loser and never go out, I go online and talk to men. Most are freaks, but I have met a few nice ones. But, the majority are super duper perverts.
Why do I think this... perhaps it's that I think people that go online say things that they would never ever say to your face. Anonymously. Very easy to be freakish.
My friend and I have determined that these are the top three questions asked in the first five minutes of an online chat or private message
1. Do you shave
2. Do you like anal sex
3. Can I cum (the word cum irks me... I use come) on your _______. Insert body part here... e.g. face, back, stomach.
Here are my thoughts on the above:
1. Shaving totally is a bit pre-pubescent for me. It's for men who like kiddies or are afraid of a real women. I don't ask you to shave your twigs and berries, so settle for a trim, ok? Trimmed is nice for the rest of the female population who aren't penthouse models. It's like getting a nice haircut for a date.
2. Anal sex? Sorry, exit only. It's a little too prison movie for my tastes. All I can think of is tossed salads by a huge man named Skull.
3. Cummmmm on me??? Yeah, go for it. Just give me a shooter in the eye. Who needs contact lense solution when you have a little splooge for the taking.
Can you say.... What the f*ck ever happend to HELLO???