Phone sex. I just don’t get it.
The internet is a perfect breeding ground for fetishes, freaks, pervs, and cross-dressing, golden shower-loving CEOs. People that normally would be a bit more discreet and conservative let themselves go all out online. I mean ALL out.
My friend “T-bone,” (long story) the golf pro, had never seen Yahoo chats before. (My “usual” haunt was in a Yahoo 30’s room where I have a few reg online friends from the US and overseas.) Well T-bone came over one night and I led him to (mwah ha ha haaaaaa) The Darkside.
We went to the “user created” chat rooms on Yahoo. The first room we landed in was DICK SIZE JUDGING. I’m laughing my ass off as his eyes nearly bug out of his head. Next we jumped to GIRLS WITH DOGS AND HORSES. We were verbally attacked when we asked if horse cum tastes as bitter as man cum, but I digress. We skipped around a bit to:
SELF SUCK ROOM (I say if you can do it, more power to ya)
BLACK MEN 4 SEXY WHITE WOMEN
HOME ALONE AND VERY HORNY
WOMEN WITH BUSHY PUSSIES (this room scared the shit out of me)
U SHOW AND I’LL TELL, and finally ended up in
I WANNA SEE GUYS JERKOFF AND CUM
We decided to play a bit in this room. I was using one of my alternative screennames (chokin_iknowdahineylickmaneuver), and even though the picture on that profile is of a hugely fat naked man, I was still immediately bombarded with multiple requests for me to view webcams. T-bone was incredulous. He was used to MSN chats where you get kicked for saying wanker. Tame stuff.
So I turn on a cam from screenname 8inchesforu. Subtle. Well, he was more like a 4 incher and was just goin' at himself. Poke, poke, poke. I’m yawning, but T-bone nearly had a stroke. His face turned three shades of purple.
Anyway, we peeked at a few more cams. Ewwwww, mostly wrinkled up old man dicks, but then we landed on some Playgirl material type guy…younghotstudforeplay. Why a gorgeous guy like this is wankin’ on cam, I have no clue. He had a great body, good looking face, all his hair and…*yikes* a HUGE Mr. Wiggly. I mean HUGE… Eiffel Tower HUGE.
We were still laughing and went to go eat the pizza that just arrived. About an hour later we go in to my office and youngstud was still going at it. Still after an HOUR. Holy shit! T-bone and I watched and laughed for about five more minutes and then, the guy finally unloads. Sheesh. A splooge shower. Volcanic. All over his cam, his chest, on his face. Everywhere. I’m sure his keyboard is still sticky. Blank – Cam immediately shuts off.
It was gross, but impressive nonetheless.
But the fetish stuff. I just don’t get it. I’m boring I guess. The regular sex stuff is just so much damn fun, that I don’t feel the need to cross the line. Requests most frequently asked for: toe-sucking, cross dressing, dom or sub***, golden showers, etc. Most often the requests aren’t exactly fetishes, but they want to roll play, threesome, are married men looking to fuck [my most hated chats], younger man/older women, or the standard blowjobcomeinyourmouth scenarios.
Now, I’m not the squirmy type (you can tell if you’ve read my journal), but sheesh, can’t a girl get to know you a little better before she’s into your up close and personals?
I will admit that I have tried phone sex before. Their requests not mine. A few [read like, three] times. On their end…well, I guess they were happy about it. My end… well, it’s all I can do to repress uncontrollable, gut wrenching laughter. I'm sure this makes me "insensitive" to their “needs,” but I just can’t get into it… at ALL. I just think of some heavy breathing pervert all lotioned up, towel next to him. Barf.
“Baby, tell me how much you want to suck my big, hard…” It just goes downhill from there. It’s like bad porn.
One time (and this was the time that I said never again) I couldn’t stop giggling. I’d start to say something, and then couldn’t finish because I was laughing so hard. I mean, he had me on a speakerphone. A SPEAKERPHONE.
He was saying the cheesiest things. “Oh, Baby, can you feel my balls slapping against your luscious sweet ass?” How the fuck do you reply to that?
Finally, he said “Well if you aren’t going to help me out, shut the fuck up so I can jerk off.” I couldn’t take it anymore. I laughed so hard I nearly peed my pants. I hung up.
I’m a sexually liberated 35 year old woman, but the internet scares the holy hell out of me. God help the innocents.
***this guy told me he was a sub. I asked him what he taught. He was like, “what?” I said what subject does he like to teach. Substitute teacher. MCFLY!!! Hahahaha Sub = submissive. I do go by Deb, but it’s NOT Deb the dominatrix.
Posted by debutaunt at April 11, 2003 04:59 PM | TrackBack