This really should be titled:
Thongs on guys are just way the f*ck GAY, but it sort of relates to my online life.
One of my former *ahem* internet dates is still a friend of mine. We talk a lot. But sometimes... well sometimes when you are simply friends things should just go unsaid.
Here is part of the conversation with *Bartholomew (I told him I was going to write about it. He picked the name*:
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Bartholomew: Can I tell you a secret?
deb_u_taunt2002: sure
Bartholomew: Just friend-to-friend.
deb_u_taunt2002: yeah
Bartholomew: I'm wearing a thong.
Bartholomew: *giggle*
deb_u_taunt2002: that
deb_u_taunt2002: is
deb_u_taunt2002: too
deb_u_taunt2002: much
deb_u_taunt2002: information!
deb_u_taunt2002: wayyyyy tmi
Bartholomew: I saw them in Target yesterday. They make thongs for men. I decided to buy one for the hell of it.
Bartholomew: It feels weird.
Bartholomew: But kinda sexy.
deb_u_taunt2002: noooooo
deb_u_taunt2002: dont' go there
deb_u_taunt2002: you are turning into a girl!
Bartholomew: Oh no, baby. This is in order to score with chicks.
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ok, here is where I comment on this conversation.
THONGS ON DUDES ARE JUST NOT SEXY. NEITHER ARE TIGHTY WHITIES, SPEEDOS OR BIKINI UNDERWEAR - EVEN IF YOU COULD CRACK A WALNUT WITH YOUR ASS or IF YOU LOOK LIKE BRAD PITT. NAKED BOOTIE, BOXERS OR BOXER BRIEFS ONLY.
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deb_u_taunt2002: that's just a little too gay dude
Bartholomew: Seriously? You think it's gay?
Bartholomew: FUCK
Bartholomew: I want to go more masculine.
deb_u_taunt2002: it's GAYYYY
deb_u_taunt2002: WAY GAY
Bartholomew: Damn.
Bartholomew: But I gotta say...
deb_u_taunt2002: NOOO
Bartholomew: It feels kinda sexy.
deb_u_taunt2002: IT'S TOO GAY
Bartholomew: It makes me want to touch my myself, I'm the too-sexy.
deb_u_taunt2002: GUYS AREN'T SUPPOSED TO HAVE ANYTHING UP THEIR BUTTS!
Bartholomew: IT'S THE TOO SEXY!!!!
Bartholomew: IT'S THE TOO SEXY!!!!
deb_u_taunt2002: IT'S TOOO GAYYYYYY
deb_u_taunt2002: Just don't ever admit to it
deb_u_taunt2002: and don't ever get in a wreck
deb_u_taunt2002: cause they would get you at the hospital and go MAN, THIS GUY IS WAY GAY!
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yet another editorial comment:
THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING GAY/LOOKING GAY IF YOU ARE REALLY..... GAY. MY VERY BEST FRIEND IS GAY. BUT IF YOU ARE TRYING TO BE MACHO AND PICK UP CHICKS, RUNNING AROUND WITH FLOSS UP YOUR ASS ISN'T THE WAY TO DO IT. Y'ALL HAVE TOO MANY BITS DOWN THERE TO HAVE A STRING UP YOUR BUTT. I MEAN DAMN, WOULDN'T YOUR BALLS FALL OUT?
I LIKE THONGS. I SOMETIMES WEAR THEM MYSELF. THONGS CAN BE SEXY ON THE RIGHT WOMEN, BUT IF UNLESS YOU ARE A DUDE WITH A BOYFRIEND THAT WILL APPRECIATE YOUR ASS CHEEKS, THONGS SHOULD STAY ON THE FEMALE FORM ONLY. NO EXCEPTIONS TO THIS RULE.
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This internet stuff gets weirder and weirder. But you just have to love it? I'd be stuck reading nothing but mercury contamination reports otherwise.
Posted by debutaunt at April 14, 2003 05:01 PM | TrackBack