I'm bitchy, but I'm not a bitch. And yes, I really have read all of your journals. Don't test me, but I have.
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Still no word from the Good Doctor. I've been too busy today to notice.
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God is stalking me…
And I can't seem to finish a damn story.
Ok, I’m off. I don’t feel clever or funny. I have been feeling really weird. I’m still all high on the Lord and everything, but I’m just not myself yet. Weirdness with Dr. Egypt. I know. Someone is telling me something.
There was this guy at my church. When I first saw him I felt like that was the man I am supposed to be with… like forever… eeks. He was a big, good looking, stocky guy, taller than me (I’m 5’11), not really my type, but had beautiful eyes and a wonderful accent. Sounded like from Mexico, but I’m not sure. Like Déjà vu, but was this Dejesus vu?
He met me and my mother at my car. I was busy drawing the 9th map of the day for my mom. Said he was there to carry my luggage into the church gym. I was liking this already. Would there be room service?
He was patient and kind. I think his name was Antonio. Mmmmm, Antonio. We had to wait over an hour (the busses never showed). I kept spotting him. Every time I’d see him, he’d smile at me like he had this secret. I’m sure it was related to the fact that he had been on one of these retreats and knew what was in store for me. The dude was practically glowing.
I thought about him a few times during the weekend. I wondered if he was married, how old he was, what did he do, etc.
After the retreat, we had mass on Sunday. The 50 ladies from the retreat were the choir. I actually sang, and the church didn’t even burn to the ground.
[aside]
But I lip synched all weekend because with all that fucking singing (you have to sing before every event. I’m surprised you didn’t have to sing when you had to go to the can.) I knew I’d completely lose my voice if I really sang. I pulled a Milli Vanilli. (I usually only sing for Zoë.) Believe it or not, my grandmother was an opera singer and my grandfather wrote songs for Warner Brothers. He wrote the Connecticut state song & had a song that was sung by Elvis, Nat King Cole, Doris Day and that has been used in three Woody Allen movies. My mother has an incredible voice. So why is my voice so craptacular?
Anyway, while I was in the choir, I was wondering about that guy. I looked around a bit to see if he was one of the retreatants’ husbands or something (some of the guys were.) Finally, I spotted him in the very very back of the church. He was standing next to this pretty Hispanic woman. He stood there for a bit, then started walking over to where the choir was in the front. He sat down. By himself. I was looking at him and he caught me. He smiled. Big smile.
After mass, we had a lunch reception for our families. I saw him in there. He was on the phone, then talking to some of the other women. My ex had picked up Zoë that morning to take her to the park.
[2nd aside]
This was the low point of my weekend. On Saturday night our families were invited to the chapel. We didn’t know about this. My parents came there and they brought my Zoë. I carried her around and danced and sang for about 10 minutes. She asked if I had to go back to work. That was so not cool. I told her I’d see her the next day. We went out and I sobbed. I haven't cried that hard in over 10 years. I was really looking forward to seeing her at 12:30 mass the next day. Then I saw she wasn’t there. I missed her so much. But was grateful that my parents were there. My ex finally brought her to the reception though and she wouldn’t let me put her down. Blah, blah, blah....
Sooooo…
We all went around meeting each others families. My mom was starved and we were about to leave. Antonio actually came up to me right as I was walking out and was asking about my weekend. I nearly fainted.
We had a five minute conversation, and I can’t remember a thing he said.
I don't know what else to say about this.
Posted by debutaunt at May 8, 2003 05:17 PM | TrackBack