Too much goofing off and actual real work yesterday, so I’ll finish this today.
And yet another too too short weekend. Babysat Friday. Took two of the under 3 crowd to a ranch on Saturday. And before you say it, that’s the closest thing to cowpoke I’ll admit to.
Sis #1’s hubby invited Zoë and I to join him and his kid to his law partner’s 50 acre ranch. It’s more like a single-wide in the middle of the woods, but he had about 20 cattle and one horse, so it counts as a ranch.
I secretly lust his law partner, Bo. He’s gorgeous, tan and has most excellent muscles. Too bad his choice in women is highly questionable. He was married to a former playmate that traumatized him. She is now an “intern” on a local radio station. She sucks! He still dates the bimbo types. We got a 3am bootie call Saturday night, but it wasn’t from a needy client.
Bo’s the kind of guy you wish you could smack into reality, but in the mean time, you just secretly want to fuck him, but you won’t because he’s too unreliable.
He was so gracious though. It was sort of unexpected. He seems shallow, but was very groovy. Maybe he’s only shallow when drunk or picking up chicks. I, obviously, am not his type. He stares a lot, but I think it’s because I’m so ghostly white. Hard to fathom. I’m starting to think I’m not anyone’s type anymore. Except maybe myself. I sort of dig me.
The trailer was painted like a cow. “Look, Mommy, a cow house.” It had 3 bedrooms, satellite TV, a playground in the back ($2,000 jungle gym), big blow up pool, and a fully stocked kitchen. There were porches all around with lovely rocking chairs and Christmas lights in the trees.
All day Zoë and her cousin wore their cowboy boots and played and ran around. Zoë’s never been that dirty in her life. Bikini and her boots or barefoot. I was kind of sad about it. She so rarely gets to play all day. We are always rushing around. She never gets that dirty either, because we usually are going somewhere.
They played all on the jungle gym. Then watched the cows. They took the kids down to the pond and fed the catfish and the duck. She was barefoot all day. I never let her go barefoot. I think we are overdue for a vacation. She needs to play. I need to be doing nothing for days.
It was nice because I was outside for a while, but had the three guys to watch the kids. I went inside and cleaned Bo’s kitchen. I have a hamster. I know rodent poop when I see it. So I unleashed my inner Momo instincts (my mom whom they all call The White Tornado. Don’t get in her path once she gets started.) I then prepped the food for the barbeque. Bo was impressed. Too bad my legs are too muscular and my boobs aren’t DDs.
When the kids went to bed, we all sat outside in the rocking chairs and drank rum and cokes. It reminded me of the scene in Fandango with the lights at the wedding and dancing. I’ve never seen so many stars. We just sat there and listened to the music. No talking.
Bo has speakers outside and was blasting the Songs and Singers channel. Doris Day. Sinatra. Nina Simone. There’s nothing like mooing cows and Tony Bennett in the middle of nowhere.
I’m hoping we get to go back. My Zoë loved it.
----------------------
Zoë cracked me up yesterday. We went to the grocery store. She insisted upon wearing her Barbie dress up shoes. They are pink-plastic platform mules with hot pink sequins on the front. She thought she was the bomb. “Barbie tap shoes.”
Zoë kept slipping. She even fell a few times. But she was too stubborn to cry about it because she didn’t want to ride in the cart. She just got right back up. “I ok mommy.”
Here she was… clickety clackety all around the store. She was shaking the little bit God gave her.
Three going on 30.
----------------------
Dr. Egypt is back in the country.
I finally reached him Friday night. He said he just got back the day before and was moving in. He wants to come to Houston to see me, but isn’t sure if he will have time to do it. He said to call him Saturday, but I didn’t feel like it.
I know he wants to call it off, but he’s being a fucking baby about it. I’m sad as hell, but it’s his fucking loss. What a dumbass. Life is too short not to love someone you care about, even if they are far away.
Just because he’s busy and in another state, he wants to not see me anymore. Though he says he adores me. I’m busy too. Even though he’s far away doesn’t mean we can’t talk to each other once in a while or see each other on occasion. I guess it’s easier to forget about me. I wish he’d come out and say it instead of giving me all the double meaning crap. Saying one thing and not calling me. Fuck. Well I can’t do shit about how he feels.
I’m trying to think about all the annoying and bothersome things he does so that I won’t feel so bad. But I still feel fucking miserable. I’ll get over it. I don’t have the time or the luxury to mope. Fuck that. Zoë needs me.
Oh well, I got one of those sappy crappy emails this morning. From some of my journal reading and some for myself, I think we all should read them. They’re all true, so suck it up.
And don’t barf. It’ll make your keyboard sticky.
Quote:
1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.
2. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.
3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
4. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.
5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.
6. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
7. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
8. Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.
9. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.
10. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.
11. There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.
12. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.
13. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.
Bye for now. I’m going to go bang my head on the wall.
I’ll snap soon. Don’t give up on me yet. I haven’t.