Two and a half hours. It's a new record. It took me two and a half fucking hours to get home from work tonight. I fucking HATE Houston.
No traffic, it's a 20 minute drive.
I never figured out what the fucking problem was either. Someone probably had a flat tire or some bu-shit. It took me over an hour to go less than two miles on Richmond.
At first I was a bit amused. I was going slower than slow. I filled out some paperwork in the car. Talked to a few people on the phone. Then I realized that it was already 5:45 and I was still over an hour away from Zoe's daycare. They close at 6:30.
Panick sets in. Call Dickford, no answer. Call Sis #2, no answer. Call Zoe's favorite teacher, family friends, neighbor... none of them answer. I'm totally fucked.
Finally I get a hold of one of the other school moms. She's not on the authorized list to pick up my daughter, but at this point I don't care. $1 a minute when they go past 6:30... not enforced, but if I was going to be really late, I know they'd charge me something.
She was really cool to pick Zoe up for me. I finally show up at her house at 7:45. The kids were having a blast. It made me sad because they were having so much fun and we had to get going. All the stay home moms have these scheduled play dates. We never have time for any ... sniff...sniff.
The kids start eating spaghetti-os, but get caught up in playing with baby dolls. On the way home, Zoe insists that we go buy spaghetti-os. Fuck and other multiple curse words. Just what I want to do. Another stop. I just want to be home. It's 1am and I'm just now winding down a bit.
It's days like these that make me want to collect unemployment and work off the table.
It's days like these that make being a single, working mom suck more than anything.
There should be laws against traffic like that.
Don't move here unless you will work 10 minutes or less from your house. Houston just fucking sucks.
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That other mother and I decided that we will be pulling our kids from the daycare they are in. They will be starting on Monday and will have their first field trip... the Rainforest Cafe. Hell, I've never even been to the Rainforest Cafe.
The only thing that makes me nervous is all the trips in the van. We've had many cases of daycares accidently leaving kids in cars. It gets insanely hot.
They told me that the ratio of three year olds to teacher will only be 10 to 1. Sounds like horrible odds, but the state allows something like 15 or 17. It's insane. So 10 sounds good. Right now there will only be like 6 in her class. At least her best friend will be transferring also.
Say prayers for Zoe that she transitions well into school. I'm so worried about it.
Can you tell that is always my biggest worry? That somehow I will have fucked up my child's life (like writing about her every move in an online journal... yeah right, she'll be stable)
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ok, some horrible, unsolicited poetry
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don't flirt with me
kiss and touch and feel and lick
it's cheating and you know it
my body betrays me
I want to fuck but I don't want to fuck you
don't touch my parts
I want to feel him
my body remembers him remembers this
I can't fake it anymore
I long for his hands
his gaze, his smile
to feel his body
his taste his breath his lips
to steal the hours with him
my memory serves me well
but is now doing me a disservice
I want to forget
This betrayal too too ripe
He is here but not here
no words but words
this ache too fresh
this ache too much mine
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Stop
thinking
and
get
your
ass
to
sleep
can't we just start over? It's nearly time for oatmeal.