My request - even if you get bored, please read this whole entry. I sort of do get around to what I want to say. Thanks for your patience. I'll provide popcorn.
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Ok, I'm 12. That last post proves it. This post will prove that I still suck.
But, alas it's true. I'm a sucker for love. That's my new theme.
I love love. *insert heart* and *lovey faces*
I have been getting quite a few messages and read threads and fake journals about a relationship we all know is none of our business. Aimee and Benorbeen (and yes, until recently I really did used to think Ben or Bean instead of Ben or Been [pronounced Ben also] thanks L(getitright)D)
I can't help BUT to be happy. Ali D drew me in (from a link at www.fametracker.com - an awesome site that my trusty, albeit most snarky friend/co-worker, Lara, drew me in to)
But it was Minou and Burns that made me stay.
Love
Long
Lost
Now
Found
Aching for love (which is my situation now too *sigh*)
New love, boundless love, and boundary-less love.
Heart ache, and Heart pounding love that makes you question - do I really deserve this? Is this really happening? How can I not lose this love?
Giddy love, sexy sexual sexsex love, romantic love, and extreme heart breaking love. Love to death. Love to die. Love to live for.
On the phone love, web cam love, email love - technology love, but yet still passionate old-fashioned love.
Minou and Burns - their love is from afar, but their hearts make them close.
And love for people like oldlady, Aimee, Lori Sunshine, Hoyden, Pixee, sugar snit, *diz*, B_E_G, Tombuazit, Tango, Gypsy, Dano, and of course my lovely L D. oh hell, you all know who you are!!! And I love you, I don't know you at all but I love you nonetheless.
Why? Because I like real life. Because relationships have flaws. Ups and downs and hardships and triumphs. Real relationships. Relationships that are as varied as the people themselves. From Wasabi Geisha and Chastain to Yonphi and Retardical Sam.
Don't tell anyone DUH! I love to read romance novels. But not like the fake Fabio-covered ones. Ellen Gilchrist (who btw won a fiction award and is an excellent writer), Jane Green, Jennifer Belle. Books about women like my off-topic babes.
It's the discovery of relationships, hopes, promises, disappointments, and how we all feel about them. It's lovely and endearing and there have been many times where I have cried over your journals with joy and with sadness.
Gypsy's discussion with her daughter sent me scrambling for a new box of kleenex, praying for Hoyden's sweetpea, minou's journey and kitties and aches and beer - and her burns - In my mind I can just see him pacing about smoking sometimes drinking, killing time for wanting and aching for Minou. I can see Benor sitting at his computer knocking about theories and thinking about coaching. Now smiling and webcaming and posting and happy. Lori's relationship with her dad, her former professor, puppies, her job - simply amazing, simply lovely (and educational with the word of the day).
Oldlady's life comforts me and gives us all something to strive for, while Diz and Randilicious and Pixee and B_E_G lives makes me filled with joy. My cutie girls and their lives - I smile when I read them. Chelle and Tango usually have me hanging by a thread... wishing for more entries. Dano finding his own, and up and down and up again. G-man with his love for his wife, his kids, his country and his compassion make me forgive his rants and his fantasy/lust (hee).
Shanextopher gets his own line. I'm addicted to his ass and his safari like world of getting ass.
Unknown soul's gutwrenching struggles that make me barely read and barely breathe. Lord God's randomness. Rich and his trailer trash chicks and his love for his son, and Seamonkey's wackiness and hilarity and love for her kids, she's the wacky sister that you miss when she's not there. Minx, I miss minx too. Snert come back too. Sugar Snits life makes me feel like I am right there, rooting for her and cheering for her, wishing to give her hugs. Clubfoot's manic ups and lust and downs and drugs and sex and rants and intellect - the hulk with a heart.
My L D's fight with lonliness and crime (heh) and men and her past and all while keeping her wildly wicked sense of humor. She's addicting. She's my secret sister.
[aside] A new fav is thorn's Recovering Drama Queen journal. Very different perspective - nearly the opposite of me, but she's a chick I would like to be like, if I didn't have a kid.
Bambooki's humor, Peyton's speed delivery, her need to get it out I think, is just another that intrigues me. And Moonlit Angel sneaking off to type to phonesex to rant. Susie's arguin with her dude, but loving nonetheless.
And I vote the new Ali Davis is the I am the Boss of Applesauce. That is a world I can truly relate to. And those of you who have heard my Zoe on the mic can attest to that. Suuuuuperrrr Mooooommmeeeeee.
On occasion I try to read a few Improv journals, Wanda's Blorgs, Lulus, Dan Telfer, Danis, Rylocs, Berrebis, and Jesster's junk. But it's not my world (and yeah, they let us randoms know it quite often - bah, just because you aren't a chef, doesn't mean you can't appreciate a fine meal).
Non-withstanding my admirnation, (and now thanks to my friend, Sec. Admirer), public admiration, of the lovely Mullaney... Improv... on this I can't relate. (although I do thoroughly enjoy El Jefe's mugshots)
To me, with these journals sometimes the improv gets in the way of the living. To them sometimes living gets in the way of improv. Driven to create is so admirable. This is why I wish they'd lay off the non-person references. I openly admire their lives.
Back to love.
Love = Life = Love
Benor, please come up with some equation.
Anyway, gush gush fest aside, I love love. I am happy when you all are happy. I'm sad when you are sad. I feel your pain and rejoice in your joy. I may not always send you a pm, but you all touch me (and some of you [L D baby] want to really really touch me - bahahahaha)
So is Aimee's and Ben's relationship my business? Of course not. Absolutely not. And for all parties who are involved, their past loves and lovers and lives somewhat make me sad and uncomfortable.
But
that
is
life.
We live and love and lose but we move on to lose and live and love again. This is what makes life worth staying for.
I appreciate their newfound love. I revel in it's newness. I understand the need to share ... just as I want and need to tell you all my story and my loves and my life.
I love love and am happy for them.
You should be too.