I'm going I'm going.
I don't want to go. I don't feel like being at fucking happy hour. Tomorrow is Lara's last day. I'm moping and stupid. I'm a big titty baby. Work is sucking. It's soon to be uber-sucking without her.
It's not just the work thing. It's seeing her and talking to her and going to lunch and stuff. She truly is one of the best friends I've ever had. She can read me like a book. She's one of the funniest people I know. If I'm stressed over this fucking bullshit, she is one of the few people that know how to help without being a fucking asshole.
Enough. I better go.
I hate this place.
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yah, yah, keep voting for my sister. that's the only fun thing in my life right now. that an going to the thanksgiving parade with Zoe and her cousin. He's going to spend the night with us Wednesday, then I have to try to get them out of the house at the crack of ass. I may dress them in their clothes the night before. He better not wet my bed.
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I've been having panic attacks I suspect. I keep having weird premonitions of my death. I even told my ex husband that I want Sis #1 to raise Zoe if anything happened to me. He agreed. I told him that he could see her when he wanted, but that I didn't want him to take her away from her family here. It's sad, but my sisters and their families are more of a family to her than he is. They know her better than he does.
I keep feeling like I'm going to be in a car accident soon. I'm perpetually sad. It's just spooking me out. Weird headaches. My eyes feel like they are going to explode. I wake up and my arms and legs hurt. It makes me cry. I'm a freak.
If I die, these are the things I'm thankful for:
My Zoe. She's my heart.
My family. All of them. All their beautiful kids. All my beautiful sisters.
My parents especially. How I got so lucky, I don't know.
Lara. She's my bestgoodgirlfriend. I hope to always know her.
My health. It sucks, but it could be much worse.
My crappy car and my crappy job. They are crappy, but they work.
This cold weather. About fucking time.
If I die, you all read it first.
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2 years ago, I found out my husband had cheated on me.
Happy Fucking Thanksgiving.
ok, I'm going, I'm going.
I still hate this place.