debutaunt.com

Could This Suck My Ass Any More?

750 mg. Vicodan.

Is doing nothing. Nada.

I am in agony today, but don't want to go on disability. I need my full paycheck as 100% of that fucker is just not enough as it is, much less 2/3 of it.

It is nice though because both my boss and the HR guy around here have had some back problems, so they are pretty cool about letting me take some breaks to go do my pilates stuff & to go to physical therapy. Well at least they are pretending to be.

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My girl, Candy's birthday is Sunday. I am going to try my darndest to get to her party tomorrow night. Tiara in tow even. She's my mofo. I have actually only seen her in person once, but she's one of the coolest chicks I've ever met. And freaking hilarious. If I'm gonna drag my ass out anywhere tomorrow night, it would be to pay homage to the Queen of the Chonches.

I'm not sure how long I can stay though because the only sitter I have is my 11 year old neice. She's used to taking care of herself and watching her 3 year old sister, so I totally trust her, but it still seems like 11 is a bit young for going out. I have to drink non-alcoholic drinks anyway because of all my meds. No need to fuck up my liver. So we shall see.

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As far as the Chef Chronicles - Chef and I have been talking. I think he's come to realize that he fucked up big time the other day. And that he really needs to change his ways. That he has to change them for himself & not just so that he doesn't lose me. I don't want him to resent me or miss his "old" life or whatever. I want him to want to do it. I want him to feel good about himself and our life. Because I know how good it can be.

I'm being an asshole and letting my guard down and have let him stay. I figure I'll give him enough rope that he can either save himself or hang himself. Regardless I love him and really do want the best for him. Because when he's truly being himself, we compliment eachother so well.

The "deb_u_team" came over to my apartment for a pep rally come to Jesus meeting the other day.

[aside]The deb_u_team is a group of the most awesome chicks from my local forum site. They are a group of women that I hope to know for the rest of my life. I've never laughed so hard as I do with these chicks. And I value their friendship, advice, kindness, love and support that they give me every day.

So howdy to SAS, Frenchie, Longkiss, Ctal, Heartofgold, Crazyforlove, Sexyblueeyes, Shutterbug (by Proxy) and our fearless leader (kind of like our Budda) Candyfloss (by proxy as well)[aside over]

Chef basically got a good ream job. I had told him the girls were coming over and he brought cheesecake and cooked us some chicken and veggies. He also cleaned up the apartment and did laundry and stuff.

He didn't drink that night and didn't snore at all. That was nice.

But the girls seem to feel the same way I do. That when he's not "on," he's a fun & really sweet person. The Celebrity Chef persona should be left for the clients and not for the friends. And he knows that too.

And the shit with the White Trash Bitch has absolutely got to stop. One of my deb_u_team predicted that he'd find his way into her bed within a month. I think that if he really loves me (and I really do think that), that's not going to happen. But I am still wary of him calling her and stuff as they were platonic friends before. I don't really get it though. She's totally a passive aggressive, man chasing asshole.

The straw that will break my back is if he calls that bitch. There's absolutely no reason for them to talk anymore. I know she was his friend. But you can't truly be friends with someone who a) doesn't respect your girlfriend and b) wants to get in your pants and will do anything to do so. It just will never work.

So enough of that Ho Cake.

Mostly, I'm a very boring person most of the time. I can't hang with all the partying. I don't mind when he works or has work related things. But he knows he needs to hang up that character before he comes home to me.

I like it when we have our friends over. And hanging out with Cheffy and ZKat. That is so sweet. For so long it was just me and Z. And I was so lonely for my family. Having him around and when our friends are around makes me feel like my life is so full.

So we will see. He's on double secret probation. The deb_u_team is coming up with things he needs to do for penance (like get them tickets to Verizon concerts - his 2nd gig as exec chef for all the bands backstage; and helping me out with the household chores until I get my back healed up enough to do them for myself. My penance to him is top secret. I haven't told even him what it is, but I just want to see if he can figure it out.)

I really liked making our house a nice place before I hurt my back. It was a sweet little family - me, Cheffy and ZKat. I like having that to come home to.

I hope it stays that way for a long time.

Well, not the back thing, but you know.

I miss you "Lara." Life is fun, but you still know me best. Come see me soon *smooches*

And FUCK. I've not been babysitting lately so I'm a poor deb_u_chonch. Ug. Waiting on some cashamatoma.

I hate being poor. I don't even have enough for a damn BLT.

Peace and Pyramids for you all.

(and Cake for Candy)

Posted by debutaunt at June 24, 2004 01:42 PM | TrackBack