One more week until my birthday.
For some reason, it's not inspiring much from me. I don't feel the anticipation and excitement that I usually do.
I miss Zoe like bonkers. It's too quiet in my little house. I feel off somehow.
I've been overworking compensating for it.
My Sis #2 (the antichrist of tact) told my folks that Chef and I are living together. That went over well *rolls eyes here.*
I had planned on telling them, but I wanted them to meet him first. I don't know what she was thinking, but Deacon Dad was actually rather cool about it. He's all geeked up because he just took a Divorce, Annulment, and Separation class or something. So now he can advise me on all of it. Yay! Just what I want to be discussing with my father.
Ick
But the timing is, well, appropriate. It's time for me to be divorced for real. And not just in my head and heart. Because that's how I felt the day I found out about Zoe's dad cheating on me. Fini. Over. Absolute.
I'm now with a wonderful man, and I want to be looking forward with him. And not being divorced is just hanging over my head right now. It's more of a pain in the ass than something that is emotional to me (right now).
[aside]Because I know it will be emotional. I have a whole box of love letters from her dad. We did love eachother dearly once upon a blue moon. I'm going to give them to Zoe one day. So that she knows she was a product of two people that cared and loved for each other.
And it's nice to see that he is more like his old self now. He's stopped being so angry. He's trying really hard to get his shit together (like I don't have to remind him to pay his daycare - he's been doing it). Anyway, it will be good to open a new and fresh chapter in my life. [aside over]
I am feeling a bit blue today. For no apparent reason. I want to go home, go to bed and cry. Well, I guess it must be the Zoe thing.
I'm tired of writing now.
Posted by debutaunt at July 15, 2004 02:29 PM | TrackBack