debutaunt.com

Caffeine Fucks Me

Sorry Sass. Shitty poetry. Skip it today, mkay?

The caffeine has taken over my brain. So just cut me some slack. It's 2am and tomorrow will be fucking me.

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To my Bitchkateers --

PJ Party. It's on suckas. Let me know what weekend is good for you all.

I love you. More than chocolate.

And that's a motherfucking lot.
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i feel

your arm brush against mine
and i know that it's innocent
but not
you don't know
these thoughts from me

i want to say it
but i'm sure i can't
i want to feel it
but i'm sure i won't
it. is. in. my. head.

why is this all
so fucking hard
when i remember the
first time i saw you
and i felt regret
remorse
that it wasn't you
make it up to me
please

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dude.
the come fuck me pumps
were for you
me. you. it. doing.

catch a clue, why don't you?

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passion
lacking it but saying it
full of it
full of shit
blow smoke
wish you'd choke

-----------------------

shhhhh
and i see you standing there
you really have no idea
and i can't flirt
and i can't watch
i don't want you to catch
me looking your way
every single goddamn time
too many people
too many watching
and all
i want to fucking do
is pull you in that damn batcave
and fuck you like we were in the zoo
wait. we were in the zoo
fucking why is it
that i can't do what
i want to do
probably because you
just really don't know
do you?

You see. There's this guy. And I've always liked him. But he's never really known it.

And now. Well now I wear the fucking scarlet letter. The one that says HC. The one that I got because everyone saw that I was so publicly dating a guy who, well, to most, was a total douchebag. Which is being nice.

NE Way. So now. I see this guy a lot. And I really just want to fuck him. Or at least make out with him infinity. Because he's hot. And smart. And kind of a geek. But hot to me. He reminds me of someone I once loved very much. Because he's kind. And funny. And has a beautiful smile. Especially when he tells me a joke and calls me cute.

But I'm keeping my distance. Because most people think *I'm* the douchebag. Because, after all, I did pick and date the douchebag (see we were Lady and Lord Douchebag).

I'd be embarrassed to date me after all this mess.

But. I'm still ... me. The pre-me. The one who wasn't driven to insanity. The one who had good health and a shine to her. And only special men in my life have known that person. The truly special ones. And that's the person that he knew BD (before douchebag). I know he liked me then. But I feel he could never get past AD (after douchebag).

So. I wait. And there are many prospects (I've been surprised). But I can't seem to work up enough interest to even want to reply. Or work up the effort to actually meet any of them.

I am. After all. Queen of the Dicks. I guess sadly I'll never change that.

MOST DRAMATIC ROSE CEREMONY EVER!

Posted by debutaunt at November 18, 2004 02:36 AM