"I'm not saying that the person who played the games didn't do any damage. But there comes a time when mourning a past relationship and the hurt that comes with it just becomes plain old wallowing in self pity."
Um. BINGO! Exactly. Ding ding ding. Candyfloss gets it. (and it was a point I should have made as well).
Which is why I can't get serious with The Boy for Sex. I'd love to. Absolutely. But I wont because at least I *know* he's still fucked up. I have sympathy. Mostly because she is still fucking with his head through their kid. Which is fucked up. I hate women that do that.
But I don't understand why he can't just "...find his balls and figure out a way to get the fuck over what happened to him." I don't get it because I don't think that way.
Although we did have a fucking FOUR hour conversation, and here's more inside on that one. Dude is going to be moving away. He has the idea that he doesn't want to get involved because he knows he's moving away. He doesn't want to get attached because he knows he easily could. Because he is attached and does care for me and when we first started out, he was really getting attached, but doesn't want to get more attached.
Ok. Whatever. I love you dude, but...
My take on this is that I want to have sex. With someone I like, is good at it, and who I don't want to kick out of my bed. That's about it.
If I can't have a true relationship, then I'll take it for what it is. Fanfuckingtabulous sex. Glorious kissing. And hanging with someone I love. I love him in the same way I love my friends (but I don't want to fuck them. Sorry, but I'm sure they are glad for that). He makes me laugh. He makes me come. And I genuinely like him.
I moved every two years my entire life. Yes, it's sad to leave friends behind, but you still move on. It doesn't crush you.
But he says he doesn't want the heartache. He knows from experience that when you get involved that it could change your plans. And he isn't ready to do that.
Regardless, I'll take the sex for now. I'm not counting other men out. I'm not actively pursuing, but I'll go on dates if they ask me out. I am absolutely open for a relationship, but until then, I'll stick with the sex. And seeing the Boy.
And Soccerboy, you can leave comments, but fucking shut it when it comes to Candyfloss, mmmkay?
Because you missed *her* point. We all get fucked over, but don't let it make you put your life on hold for shit. Only you can feel bad for what people do to you. So if you don't refuse to do that, then why the fuck keep on going? What's the point?
Yes, I'm tired of these bitches, but I'm also tired of these men who can't let it go. I should be a fucking stone cold bitch for the hell these men put me through. But I refuse to believe like that. I don't want to be this angry, bitter bitch.
So dudes, let it go already. Or just stay out of the dating pool until you get some help. Be it therapy or whatever, do us the favor. Don't dip your feet in the pool, and then say... Oh, I'm not ready to go swimming. If you know that already, pack up your nads and go back to the baby pool.
Although I'm still wanting regular sex with the Boy. Mmm mmmm good.
I don't want to understand him. I just want to get naked with him and make us both have a few laughs.
Posted by debutaunt at January 24, 2005 12:47 PM | TrackBack