Why do I not feel better?
No mas oatmeal. I know it's great for you, but it totally spiked my blood sugar. Four hours after eating egg beaters and plain oatmeal, I had a blood sugar reading of 190. Not good. Should be between 70 and 120 one HOUR after eating.
I'm stressing way too much. But I somehow feel like I am going to die if I don't push through all of this bad health and get serious with it. If I don't take care of myself, I'm no good to Zoe or anyone else. And I can't let it happen.
And I remember how it was before when Z and I used to head to the gym every day. She went to bed late. Very late. Like 9:30 late.
And I know I will be waking her up at 6:45 to get her to the school bus on time come August 10th. And I want her to not be half asleep and misbehave her first time at a real school. The child needs sleep. She does. And fights it with all her being. She's stubborn like me like that.
Everyone is telling me not to sweat about it. That there's basically nothing that I can really do with the worrying about it. I *know* this. But I also feel practically desperate that I can't give up on my workouts this time. I need them like I need air. I know that I won't die if I skip or slack or not work out as often as recommended.
But I also know that if I incorporate fitness back into my life, I will feel better. My health *will* improve. And I know now is the time to do it. I know I can do this.
I need to get some sleep. Sleep deprivation always makes me crazy like this.
Posted by debutaunt at July 6, 2005 12:12 PM