July 13, 2005
Look Here Kitchen Bitch
You keep stealing my salad dressing from the fridge at work, and I'm gonna have to stomp your thieving sorry ass.
Don't mess with a woman and her organics.
At one point, my mom had an issue with people using her soda. She put a sticky note on it that said, "Just FYI to whomever keeps stealing my soda: not only do I spit in every bottle, I've got a raging cold sore."
Never happened again. Yes, my mother is fuckin' nuts.
Posted by: Ms. Pants at July 13, 2005 05:49 PMAnnie's...is that the same brand as the Annie's Mac and Cheese? Because that, my friends, is some good stuff.
Posted by: Karin at July 14, 2005 04:29 PMYears ago, this happened to me. Did you buy that salad dressing and put it in the fridge? Of course not. So when it was gone, I brought in a new one. With a special ingredient. I went around the windows of the house, collected dead bugs and spiders, mashed them up and in they went. It was a nice herb vinagrette, so no one was the wiser. When it was nearly done, I left a big sticky note on the bottle explaining about the extra protien they all had. It never happened again.
Posted by: Thorn at July 14, 2005 05:50 PMThorn is my new hero.
Posted by: Sarcastic Journalist at July 14, 2005 07:27 PM