August 19, 2005
The Cement Commute
Zoe is passed the heck out. I should be too, but drank a diet coke at dinner and figure I'd post some of the pictures I took this evening on the bus.
Yes. The bus. I rode the bus and it was FUNKY.
Did I say it was funky? Because it was one up on funky. It was FUCKING FUNKY!
This is not my bus, but it was my view. Buses everywhere. And none of them can drive for shit!
This was the nasty funk on the seat in front of me. I couldn't tell if it was dandruff from someone's funky ass scalp (maybe the chick that groomed her eyebrows all morning), or if it was some wicked mold. If I were a betting chick, it was probably a mixture of both. Please note the uberugly fabric. It reminds me of Caesars in Lake Tahoe where the decor looked like some mobster's girlfriend had her way.
Here is the windowsill. It was full of dust (maybe more yellow mold) and a bunch of dead bugs. Guess the price of gas forced Metro to fire their bus cleaning staff.
Here is me. See the hand covering the mouth manuever. A seasoned professional at that. It was to keep myself from horking as not only was the bus funky/moldy/dusty, but it was STINKY. Why? Because the commuters of Houston are forced to wait in the hot sun for the bus. Standing outside for .0005 seconds brings up a sweat. And since a high percentage of those commuters, in all my scientific personal experience with them, do not FUCKING BATHE OR USE DEODERANT ... well... it's like a stink soup. You some stinky funky assed people. Damn.
Welcome to Houston. The state bird is the Orange Traffic Barrel. I tried to get the other shot I had (the one with over 20 barrels), but trying to take and upload pictures from my camera phone while trying to maintain service connection in Sprints shifty area... well, one barrel is all you get. But trust me. I think there are now officially more barrels per capita than in any other city in the world.
This picture I took specifically for the lovely Simplygreg. I hope that if you ever get down or discouraged about living out your dreams and saying "fuck you" to the man, just think... it could be this... funk/stink/mold/germs/sweat/barrels and lots and lots of cement barriers.
I hope you have a wonderful trip, G-man. I hope it is everything you want an then some.
Posted by debutaunt at August 19, 2005 10:42 PMI'm sorry you have to ride the bus. Just thiink of all the gross/funny/scary stories you'll have to tell on here!
Posted by: Rachel at August 19, 2005 11:29 PMI just read your entry about some girl saying she was going to wipe out your net worth. Funny. I'm a lawyer (I understand she says a friend of hers is a lawyer) and I can assure you of a few things: 1. Your state laws will govern what action, if any, can be taken. and 2. If everything you posted was already online somewhere, and you only added your opinion that she was ugly, then THAT IS NOT ILLEGAL. It really irks me when people bluff about being or knowing a lawyer! Good luck to you.
Posted by: Fiona at August 20, 2005 03:02 PMenjoyed your bus retrospective!!! it has been a while, but they are stinky, aren't they..
Posted by: M at August 21, 2005 06:56 AMuhhhh, i had just popped some food into my mouth when i started reading your entry. i had to close my eyes and thank god that the picture needed to be scrolled to when i read "dandruff from someone's funky ass scalp."
i couldn't finish the rest of the post. i skipped right to the comments.
i know that second sentence up there didn't make sense.
i'm sorry, i think it's because i just threw up a little bit in my mouth.
Posted by: sonsica at August 21, 2005 09:46 PMHoly shit you make me laugh! Thank you for the thoughts. Unfortunately, I think stinky people and cement barriers are a reality for all of us, slackers or not. But I dig the sentiment. You may want to invest in those Michael Jackson surgical mask thingy's. Stay simplydisinfected.
Posted by: simplygreg at August 23, 2005 04:18 AM