debutaunt.com

Don't feel sorry for moi - I'm going to kick this cancer's ass

Some of Deb's friends are holding an unofficial blood drive at MDA's blood bank on Friday after Turkey day. If anyone else wants to go, feel free to get in contact with me or just call and make an appointment if you wish to donate platelets otherwise you can just show up to donate whole blood.

d1forlove@aol.com

Um. Do I have the most awesome friends, or WHAT??? I swear I love them like I love my family. I have the Trifecta of Awesome of friends. I feel so lucky to have their love and support. I really do. You all should go to this based on D1 herself.

We call the woman the Queen of Everything because she does everything well. She's a kickass mom, she is a great friend, she's cute, funny, smart, and knows like everything about camping. She can bait a hook and cook you a gourmet meal - all while still in the woods. She's amazing and cool as hell. Go just so you can party with the woman after giving blood. Because I bet she will get her rita on after giving platelets. Hell, she probably will save the rainforest after with one swoop.

Scenario:

You eat way the f*ck too much at Thanksgiving. You are literally stuffed. How can you go about losing some of that feeling of fullness? Why... by donating blood, silly.

You are a cute single person. You want to find the love of your life. Why... donate some blood with some other cute single people and find your mate for life. Hey! It could happen! My Brother #1 met his wife at one of my birthday parties. You never know, you could meet yours while donating blood.

heh

You never know what could happen and what could change your life in once instance. I went in to an emergency room about a month ago with a bad headache and tingly fingers. I came out with leukemia. Saved my life though, and changed it forever.

I do have to say that I'm getting tired of the "I'm sorry" thing when people find out I have leukemia.

I always reply, "I'm not sorry because I'm going to kick this cancer's ass."

Besides....

Hey, at least I'm not dead. I could have been flattened like gum by getting hit by a bus. I could be dead right now, and Zoe left and orphan. At least this way I see the bus coming, and mothers, I'm a'dodgin' that damn bus.

I also am not sorry because I *am* going to kick this cancer's ass. Kick the snot right out of it. My friends that know me from a local forum know that cancer picked the wrong person. I'm the female Lance Armstrong of cancer. I'm going to kick it's ass then get on a damn bike.

The difference between me and Lance is that from the very first, "you have leukemia," I just wasn't even afraid. Hell, when they repeated it, I barely shed a tear.

It's crazy to me, and I'm not sure if any of you would ever understand, but from diagnosis-moment one, I felt loved and supported. Even when the bumf*ck Egypt hospital diagnosed me in a room with a bunch of strangers on the other side of the curtain, I have not felt alone.

My first instinct: (my ACTS church retreat sisters would be proud) That God wouldn't have done this if He knew I couldn't deal. I gave it right up to Him at that moment. I was like, "Dude. You have some broad shoulders. Imma just let you handle this one." Besides, I am a single, working mom. We just deal with sh*t and don't think twice about it. You can't want your mommy, because you *are* the mommy. You handle. It's what you do.

My second instinct: My family, my friends and my church peeps will help me with this. I use numbers when describing my siblings because I have six of them. Yep. Six. We be some populatin' Catholics, and I love every minute of being one of seven kids. My siblings are awesome. They, well they just kick ass. As do my friends (see above impromptu blood drive)

My siblings immediately went in to Deb's Gonna Kick Some Ass mode. Sis #1 jumped in and was like.... don't worry about a damn thing other than getting well. We will handle legal/medical/job-related/financial stuff. She's the retired lawyer/stay home mom. And she and her husband (who is like my brother from another mother) came to visit me and when they said that, well, I believed them. And they have been true to their word. They are the ones whose kiddos I used to babysit - the under five crowd - nearly every week.

Missing Zoe like mad, but I also mis Sis #1s kiddos like my own. They look more like me than Zoe, and I love their spirit. They are just the most interesting and cute kids of all time.

Sis #1 and her husband are my goal and reminder of Live Your Priorities. Everyone says don't work too much, enjoy life, life each day fully, laugh long, and all those other Chicken Soup sentiments. Well they do. They are married and genuinely like each other. They go on dates, yet spend time apart and with their kids. BIL #1 works hard, but he also does cool stuff for himself - golf, fishin with his buddies. And Sis #1, no matter what, makes sure she takes time for herself as well. She's my fitness idol and doesn't look at all like a mom of two. She's got these cool forum friends from when she was on Who Wants to be a Millionaire (she won 64k then), and she is a sports freak - aka a three year finalist in the Ultimate Texan's Fan contest (she was ROBBED!) Sis #1 is like the personification of cool. You'd want to hate her (she's a hottie as are all my sisters), but you can't because she's such a genuinely great person.

Sis #2. She just jumped in and was all mom. I knew that if Zoe belonged anywhere other than casa_debu, it was Sis #2's house. Chaotic at times, but so full of love they are bursting at the seams with it. She and Bro in Law #2 have three kiddos already, but didn't hesitate for a second to take the Zoester. (BTW, if I'm ever way too sick to update, I'm letting Sis #2 guestpost for me. She and Sis #1 are great writers, but Sis #2 always makes me *snort* when I laugh)

I love how Sis #2 moms. She's got such great style as a mom. And she and I share the philosophy of picking your battles. Some things are important = brushing your teeth; some things - well, so not = playing in the sand even though it's gross and hard to get off. Hey. It's about the fun and the kids, not the mess it makes. Sis #2 is totally loving and all the kids love going to Aunt Sis #2's house. You walk in and feel so welcome and love and fun permeate the place. Sis #2's husband is a cool dude too. He owns his own business and is a financial whiz. He loves his kids (they are totally mini-me's of him), and my daughter adores him.

When she first got to their house, BIL #2 told her that now that mom was sick, their house *was* her house. From the floor to the roof. And that if she ever wanted to talk or needed anything, Zoe was welcome to ask them. He told her, "sorry the house is so cramped and small." (four kids, three bedrooms) But to Zoe, their house means fun and is *HUGE.* (we lived in a one bedroom one bath apartment) Now she's got a pool, a jungle gym, a big backyard, three siblings, and a bunch of room to run around. THAT's huge. Especially when you factor in the love. As Zoe would say, "It's Hu-mang-ous."

Brothers #1 and #3 I always tend to group them together. #1 and his wife live in Corpus. His wife was my best friend when they met at my 25th birthday party (20-something?) They were a pair ever since. Sis in Law #1 is so sweet. She personifies the word sweet. She is smart and funny and always has something interesting to talk about. We weren't best friends for nothing, but I wish they lived closer. She's a doll.

Bro #3 is the comedian. He lives in San Antonio with my folks, and the dude never fails to make me laugh. He is great with kids, especially Zoe, and always is on the go. Between #1 and #3, they have me in stitches. But they are also just plain good peeps. Lovely good guys who know what is important in life. Both have offered to take some time off and come up to help me mend. I mean what dudes do that?

I can't do my own cooking or laundry because my hemo-somthingorother is low and it makes me a wee bit dizzy to stand or walk for too long. I think it has something to do with the cells that take blood to your lungs and other major organs. Anyway, I can't drive or do much of anything else, so the dudes have stepped up. That's what I'm sayin, what dudes do that?? My dudes.

Bro #2 is the most awesome guy of all time. When it came around that I was 100% going to need a stem cell transplant (yeah, that part kind of scares me actually), Bro #2 was like... "I want it to be me. I want to be the match." Bro #2 and Sis in Law #2 are Zoe's Godparents. And they are totally the Godparents of Kickassness. When we fled Houston for Rita, they let us crash at their casa. We had such a great time, and they made us feel so welcome. Heck, when I needed to get some zzz's after driving for 11 hours all night long, Bro #2 played card games with Zoe for like three hours. What dude plays cards with a five year old girl for three hours? Bro #2, of course. I think he's a member of the good guy's club or something. I just adore the dude.

And his wife. I hate her. The woman is fantastic looking and NEVER, and I mean NEVER takes a bad picture. She's gorgeous. And like the Hispanic version of Martha Stewart. She does nothing bad. Ok, so I obviously don't hate her, but she is just the most amazing chica. Smart, pretty, funny, great job, caring, and a contageous smile. She has awesome shoes too. The kind of girl you want to hate, but can't. And I was so glad when Bro #2 told me he was going to propose to her. Because if you can hang with my crew of nine, you are a stud in my book. I love SIL #2.

And then there is "the baby." I know she hates that, but when you are number seven of seven, well at one point, I do remember her as "my" baby. I changed her diapers (along with most of the rest of them) as I could change a peepee diaper at age six.

Sis #3 has been my perspective. She reminds me why I shouldn't sweat the small stuff. She has washed my underwear, people. She has been my chauffer, my cook, my housekeeper, and my love for the last two weeks - all while still being sweet as pie. When I was all sad about losing my hair, she kept my perspective and was like... hey... at least you aren't a dude whose hair *can't* grow back, as we both know at least 5 of the coolest bald dudes who have lost their hair early.

Sis #3 has driven me to appointments and then played the waiting game. Any leukemia patient knows what I'm talking about. You have a dr. appointment at 10:20. That means you *might* get in by 12:20. My 2:30 appointment yesterday started at 4:45pm.

[aside] that's the suck thing about leukemia. they have to base your treatment on your numbers, your labs. So in between the chemo, you have labs and dr. appointments like 3-4 times a week. Bleh. At at time when you have completely lost your independence.

Sis #3 has been the one that pushes my butt around the hospital. She works at a BMW dealer so she and I pretend my wheelchair is the BMWs of wheelchairs. She makes me laugh, runs to get me stuff, and waits with me. She totally calms me down for some reason, her just being there.

She's seen me down and made sure I didn't stay there for long. She's been amazing, and I'm going to miss her like crazy when she heads back to Austin today. Plus she has a cool boyfirend. Who is a good guy. I like it when a young chick picks a good guy. Because at that age it seems to not happen all that often.

So you see why I don't waver in my ability to say, "I'm going to kick this cancer's ass." It's not Bush-istic Bring It Bravado. It's just fact.

I have a child who needs me, and I'm a kid in this fantastic family.

I have been blessed at birth. I'm lucky like that.

I can do this.

I can do this because of them.

Posted by debutaunt at November 17, 2005 04:06 AM