court tv shows *are* there?
I slept the sleep of the dead last night. Well as dead as someone who has been woken up 4+ times a night for four nights in a row. Which was pretty dang solid.
But I'm having chemo hands. I think it has damaged my fingernails as it feels like I've had all ten fingers slammed in a door or something. Makes for interesting typing.
I caught up on my dvd watching, although they sent the discs out of order, so I'm kind of confused on Season Six of Sex and the City.
Mom and Dad are coming to see me now. Mom is going to drive my SUV over here so that she can use it while she stays here for a few days. I get some more inter.the.cal chemo tomorrow. I hope that it goes ok and that I don't have any weird side effects for Thanksgiving.
I am excited about seeing my family. I'm going to have to go into the back bedroom of Sis #1s casa, but I should be able to see people if I wear a mask.
All Zoe says she wants is to sit in my lap. I could think of nothing nicer at this point. I hope that she doesn't do her "hi.mom.bye.mom.gotta.play.mom" thing and actually lets me hold her for a long while. I miss her today.
Today has been a nice day. Unpacking my hospital stuff and I'm in my room here (family friend's casa again) with the door open to the porch. It's a gorgeous day. I wish I could go for a walk, but I'm too pooped today.
I also got a really nice shower in. The amazing thing is that today I have been all alone (the owner of the house has been downstairs). I actually stood in front of a mirror, no clothes on, and took a good look. No nurses around or my sister or anyone. Just me and my new body.
While not yet gaunt, far from it, I'm thinner and paler. I have bruises all over me from different tests, from falling when I fainted the first time, and from well, I don't know. Leukemia bruises.
I looked at my bald head. I looked at my hairless armpits (a total bonus - no mas shaving for a while), and I looked at my face. Thinner. Yet somehow stronger and more determined. I think it's the haircut. It totally feels very GI Jane. Fierce. Warrior.
I feel strong today, but find myself running out of breath. This will pass.
I miss my friends today.
But your debu_assignment is to enjoy some privacy. If you have kids, put them to bed tonight and take a really nice shower. Look at yourself and your strength. Enjoy the quiet. Enjoy your time. I sure did.
I can do this.
And OMG Mandy Moore is fixin to have sex in this movie. I cannot say it enough. If the chemo doesn't get me, the daytime tv will. Thank God for music.
Posted by debutaunt at November 22, 2005 04:36 PM*hugs your way*
Your words move me to tears today...not sure why.
You are in my thoughts. Blessing and Healing to you my dear!
Hi - I've be following your journey and am finally decloaking because I think I have some helpful info.
The pain in your hands is called neuropathy and is a common side effect of chemo. Your fingernails hurt because fingernails are made of fast-growing cells (like hair) which are targeted by the chemo.
I believe vitamin E has been proven to be very helpful in easing the neuropathy pain. You might try googling: neuropathy chemotherapy. I'm ceratin you'll find some guidelines.
and, yes, you will kick leukemia's ass.
best wishes -
elizabeth
much love from sonmona, am enjoying wine tasting amoung the turning grape leaves for you! jonni says hi and wish you where here.
love you!
Deb, I continue to read about your fight and journey and you just make me laugh. You ARE a warrior and we love you. Beat this shit. Which you will.
Enjoy the gauntness or almost gauntness and then when it's over eat your guts out and be whatever you're meant to be.
I think Elizabeth is right. I was kind of freaking out because I got all girly at the hospital and was putting all this Burt's Bees cuticle cream on my fingers and lots of lotion (cos I wash my hands all the time).
I thought maybe I had used something that did something funky to my nails. But I'm pretty sure it's the chemo.
Thanks for the heads up though, E.
And D1 - the wine. Mmmmmm. The wine. I'm happy for you woman! If anyone deserves that, it's The Queen of Everything :)
Posted by: debu_warrior at November 23, 2005 07:42 AMWhat do you want to know about Sex & the City ? I have the ENTIRE collection if you need to view it again and again . I am a movies buffs so , ask me about anything (well , almost any movies except horrors ).
I remember my fingers and toes were very sensitive while going through it . Heck , my entire body were sensitive but I did slept like a dog and not exxagerating on that either .
Can I see you on T-G day ? Where are you going to be ? That will be my only free day till I fly out the next morning to TN - Heck , I am asking to see you , don't turn me down now !!!!
I got some cool Bath and Body Works lotions and lipgloss I want you to try .
Big hugs , save the kisses for later girly !!!
Tam
Posted by: Tam at November 23, 2005 09:29 AMThere are now seven TV court shows.
I like Sex and the City too and I'm not gay.