debutaunt.com

The Day after The Day

Ok. So it's the hormones. It's got to be.

When you have leukemia, they don't want you to bleed. No bloody noses, you can't get gingivitis and have bleeding gums, you cut your finger, that blood better stop. So guess what? They want to put your periods on hiatus - yes, we are going to talk a wee bit about that today, so sorry if it's a TMI thing.

So how do you do this? Well you basically stay on the birth control pill 24/7 and don't take that "off" week. You just take the active pills. Except, some of us have bodies that don't want to cooperate. So some of us started to get our periods and have some spotting and cramping stuff going on.

So? What to do?

The nurse said to take more than one pill a day. Sounds easy. Except it makes you weepy. Like big time weepy. Like stupid girly weepy. I was doing up to three pills a day yesterday. Because if I get my period, I get hospitalized and get transfused again. Bleh. Oh hell no. So yesterday I was all a'boo hooin'.

Uma doesn't boo hoo. Neither does GI Jane. She just shaves her head and goes and kicks some more Navy Seal ass. I can't be doing that.

Today I feel good. Better. Stronger. Coffee. Extra sleep. And a day prior that ended up being normal. Or at least more normal than what I've been having.

My bro dragged me out to a movie. My counts are higher so I'm less likely to catch an infection, but still practically bathe in Purell antibiotic gel.

I watched 'Walk the Line' and it made me want to listen to Johnny Cash's music, which I guess is like what the movie 'Ray' was. I ate movie theater popcorn and a few Twizzlers and a Diet Coke. Live dangerously I say.

Sis #2 got a well-deserved break yesterday, and the lovely D1 (me goodgirlfriend) Zoenapped Zoe and took her to go see Santa and have a spendy-the-night party with her and her six year old, kiddo, the adorable ELM. The bubble picture is from D1's jacuzzi tub where the girls filled it way up with bubbles - what a blast.

We had talked about maybe meeting up for dinner, but I was a bit hesitant and tired. I was worried that it might freak Zoe out that I can't see her, yet show up at a restaurant, only to say goodbye after dinner. Not enough one on one time.

So Sis #1 decided to throw a little shindig after the UT Massacre (woo!) at casa_Sis #1. We all showed up - me, Bro #1, Sis #3 (who was in town too for the game) and D1 and the littles. Zoe was so surprised and happy to see me. We had pizza and watched the USC game (and I can't wait for the Rosebowl game - I sure hope I feel better for that). Zoe sat in my lap a lot and was kind of sleepy and snuggly.

It felt normal and I was so relaxed. I love hanging at Sis #1's house. It reminds me of my former life. Weekends with my sis and bro in law. Kiddos screaming and running around. Hanging out in the living room and talking about all kinds of stuff. A house full of love and laughs.

I know those days aren't gone, and will happen again. I know it. It's what keeps me going. Those days and the sparkle in my Zoe's eyes.

I can do this. There are many reasons for me to do this.

Posted by debutaunt at December 4, 2005 08:55 AM