debutaunt.com

Does a Body Good

I slept the sleeep of the dead last night. Well at least the sleep of some Darvon, a nice little painkiller.

No transfusion needed yesterday. I was just a few points up, so they said it wasn't necessary. It explains why I'm tired, as the counts are below a normal person, but still low - lack of oxygen to the ol' debu_muscles.

And I'm in remission again. My counts have recovered, so if my labs are up again this Thursday (yes. tomorrow), I will be admitted for Round 4 of chemo. ROUND 4 ... in this corner...

I think I'm not quite ready for this, but if my doctor thinks I'm ready, I say go for it. She's a smart egg, so I trust her. At first she was going to wait until "after new years," but I convinced her that um... I didn't really have any plans for New Year's Eve, so it didn't matter. At least I might be out in time to watch the Rose Bowl on the 4th.

I am a wee bit supersticious about New Year's Eve as it always seems like whatever you are doing on New Years is what you end up doing for the rest of the year. And in the past ten years, this has come true for me. So if I'm in the hospital, does that mean I will spend the rest of the year there? I hope not. But I can also look at it like I will be in the hospital kicking and conquering cancer's ass. And 2006 will (again) be the Year of the Deb.

Personally, I know what I'd like to be doing on New Years, but since Monkey Boy will still be in Sri Lanka, I guess going to the movies for a date is out anyway. Looks like chemo it is then. I'm taking a raincheck on the date night.

I have been feeling kinda punk for the past week, really tired and achy, but today I am determined to (Moonstruck moment) *snap out of it!!* I got some new chocolate raspberry coffee from Sis #1 (woo), so I am empowering myself this morning to choose not to feel bad.

At MD Anderson, you see patients everywhere. And so many of them are in so much pain. So, in comparison, my pain level/punk level is pretty wimpy. Today I will try to remember my friend Wanda, who has had to undergo 30 days of outpatient chemo - arsenic - in order to beat her relapse of leukemia. She always has a smile, even through tears. Even when I know she is hurting and frustrated, she always has a smile and a kind word. So today I'm going to give this pain away and have a good day.

I can be strong today. I will be strong today.

I'm going to pack my suitcase today, and hopefully my new year will be most definitely be rung in with my body on it's way to healing.

I can do this.

Today your assignment is two-fold: I want you to think about 2006. To think about what exactly your priorities will be for that new year. Do you want to do more charitable works? Do you want to set a goal and meet/beat it? Does your spirit need a lift? And I want you to do something on New Year's Eve that supports your goals for 2006. And to actually *do* something instead of just thinking about it. Don't just do the typical NYE celebration, do something quality for yourself, your family, your loved ones. Ring in the New Year with hope and promise and wellness. I plan on it.

And to my girl, Rachel in AK, keep up the good work. I'm so proud of you for staying off the smoke wagon. I know the holidays don't lend themselves to diet and exercise as much, but you are kicking butt and I'm so proud of you for committing yourself. Those pictures of your kiddo make it all worthwhile. That little girl needs you and your sacrifices and determination are so worthwhile.

Keep up the good work!! Love ya!

Posted by debutaunt at December 28, 2005 08:00 AM