The test from hell is now done.
Not only did they do the bone marrow aspiration, they did a bone marrow biopsy as well. I haven't had one of those since late October when I was diagnosed. I forgot how much they hurt. I am glad I didn't know ahead of time that I was getting that done too. I think I would have flipped out a bit more. Last time I was sedated. I barely remember it.
This:
There will be a sharp stinging from the anesthetic injection. As the aspirate is withdrawn, there may be a brief, sharp pain. The biopsy needle may also produce a brief pain, usually more dull. Since the interior of the bone cannot be anesthetized, this test may cause some discomfort. Not all patients experience these symptoms, however
is a complete fabrication.
There is nothing brief, nor dull about that pain. Some discomfort? I don't know one leukemia patient that doesn't experience major pain with this procedure. It's like having someone drill a corkscrew through your ass cheek into your hip bone. That's exactly what it's like.
I was cursing up a storm. In Spanish even. I don't even hablo Espanol.
I cried though. It was like spontaneous and I couldn't stop it from happening. It was so weird. Afterwards my blood pressure went way high. Like 188 over 135. They had taken it earlier and it was 122 over 72. I never have high blood pressure. Never. This test, she so not normal.
I took a Darvon beforehand, but I might as well have swallowed some M&Ms. And since they had me do it early in the morning, I ended up limping around to my other appointments. Chest X-ray, labs, leukemia doc, pharmacy, (got a yum lunch in here), then my endocrin doc, back to pharmacy.
The tech numbed me up so much, I was numbed all the way down to my right toes hours later. I came home and passed out while watching Footloose. I think that's what you are supposed to do when you watch that movie.
I'm still having problems walking, but I hate to take anything for it. Makes you too groggy. Thanks to my 'Bubellah' Monkey Boy for sending me funny text messages all day. Because there was nothing funny about today.
Tomorrow I only have a few appointments, but my schedule is now three pages long. All kinds of tests. I'm glad they are starting to do this, but gosh, it's exhausing. I want me one of those little scooter things. But I know this walking is good for me.
I can do this. I am doing this. With a sore ass, but still.
Today your assignment is to give someone a massage. The world would be a better place if people gave more massages. And if you don't have anyone to give a massage, go get one. You've earned it.
Oh, honey... I am so sorry for the pain you went through today... the line about cursing in Spanish and you not speaking Spanish made me laugh.
Can you relax in a hot tub or something? Eat bon-bons? Watch more riveting movies like Footloose? Come on, you know you like-a da Kevin Bacon. ;)
Sweetie, I'm glad that's over for you. I hope tomorrow goes smoothly, and with much less pain.
Hugs,
Kelli
Deb, one thing about needles and things; the more tense one becomes, the more pain. Therefore, I TRY and relax the best way I know and also pray a little. It does seem to work.
Also, I did get my massage today. I wish I could get YOU one.
Take care and know that you are prayed for by a bunch of people and that we love you. "The Dad"
Posted by: The Dad at February 7, 2006 08:13 PMOH MY GOD: We call that the HARPOON TEST.
Reading this I can almost feel your pain.
I think Shoshie should start with the Yiddish
curse words. You can cuss in Spanish, English,
Yiddish. You will be the multi-lingual "cusser".
Despite everything you went through today you
still made me laugh. I have this vision now of
you in a scooter cruising the hall. Should we
send you a horn and streamers for your scooter?
You better start your daily Rx of candy. The
script reads like this: 1 Twix at 9:00 AM.
12:00 1 bag of M&M's. 3:00 pm 1 Reese cup
6:00 pm 1 Kit-Kat 9:00 pm 4 Hershey Kisses.
Ice your "sore ass". I will be praying and
thinking about you as always.
Night-Night
Nikki
So glad that's over. Sounds painful. Hope you get some good rest.
Posted by: Ninotchka at February 7, 2006 09:09 PMAhh, yes the biopsy. Those memories are still ingrained deeply in the brain, though it was a very long time ago. Only had one dr. who could do it without me nearly grinding my teeth to dust. At least tomorrow can't be nearly as bad. Best of luck!
Posted by: Mr. Fancypants at February 7, 2006 10:40 PMI got a giggle from the cursing in Spanish part of this! I think Nikki is right...Shoshie needs to begin with Yiddish cursing lessons! Just the thought makes me smile and today I really needed that! As for the massage, how 'bout someone massaging your behind eh?! I think of you often. Peace.
Posted by: Traci at February 7, 2006 11:20 PMDamn the harpoon!! Glad it's over for today, but I'm so sorry it was so effin' painful! Follow Dr. Nikki's orders on the candy -- you've earned it! Better tomorrow, eh?
Posted by: eclectic at February 8, 2006 12:03 AMDeb....here you go....add to your repertoire...
repeat after me....dew
now deeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwww (pronounced as a sort of deee-eeee-oooo) to really emphasise it
there, now you can say 'fuck' in cantonese!!!
and Deb...you are dew-ing awesome, honestly you are
hugs and hearts to a very very special lady
Fi
Posted by: Fiona at February 8, 2006 02:42 AMack!
gosh, it hurts just to read about it...I am sure I would do very badly, screaming, crying, yelling, I'm a wonderful patient.
you put things in perspective for me/I pray for you.
A big OY GEVALT which means oh how terrible.
I just can't bring myself to write the Yiddish
curse words here. Your DAD reads this blog.
What a sucky day you had. I hope you used
your Yiddish while you were cursing in
Spanish and kept saying OY VEY, OY VEY.
The candy you must always bring the candy
to the clinic. If nothing else you can
sometimes bribe people with your candy.
I hate that you cried but that test hurts
so much anybody would cry. How come they
didn't drug you up big time? I guess you
had all those appointments so they could
not konk you out. I am with you on that
explanation of the test-what a JOKE. They
need someone who has had the test to
update that lame explanation.
You better double up on the Twix Bars
today "bubellah".
XOXOXO
Shoshie
holy shit!! we never had to go through both of those tests at the same time. My hat goes off to you, dealing with both of those. You're kicking ass and taking names...
Posted by: amanda at February 8, 2006 08:18 AMoi-- when you get the go-ahead that you can actually receive a massage, you call me lady. I come rub you.
Posted by: Ms. Pants at February 8, 2006 08:31 AMOh my dear Deb. How horrible for you. I can't believe they put you through both of those tests at the same time! I'm all for the cursing in ANY language when getting harpooned in the ass! It may not be proper but it does help. Here is a new word for you: Cazzo! It is the interjection for the word Fuck in Italian. Cazzo the Harpoon!!! I hate that you are in pain and they made you cry. Ask them to swap places with you in the future to see what it feels like. Triple up on the prescription of candy,ice your booty and I will search for a scooter with a horn, streamers, and rearview mirrors so you can laugh at the staff chasing after you!!
Cami
You know, one day on a scooter wouldn't be out of order here. I'm just sayin. A scooter with flames and a horn...maybe one of those bicycle baskets...and a flag ;P
Glad that today is over and hope that tomorrow goes much easier on you.
Reading your pain just about made me pass out here at my desk. I am so sorry. The fuckers.
Geez I wish I had something funny to say.
You are doing this.
Posted by: Kim at February 8, 2006 01:51 PMA quick check on you. I hope your buttocks
does not hurt so much today!
How are you doing on your candy Rx?
Nikki
Posted by: Nikki at February 8, 2006 02:39 PM"And if you don't have anyone to give a massage, go get one. You've earned it."
The massage? Or the person to give the massage?
I thought it was funny. Though the rest of the post does not sound funny at all. You got through it, though. Here's hoping tomorrow isn't quite a painful for you.
Just thinking of you this evening and stopping to say hi. I hope your soreness from the test from hell is less today. Peace.
Posted by: Traci at February 8, 2006 08:54 PMI hope your doing OK. I know OK is all relative
here. You are always in my thoughts.
Nikki
Posted by: Nikki at February 8, 2006 10:39 PM