debutaunt.com

Back in the dark ages...I was in college and we still had a midnight sign-in time on weekdays. My girlfriend and I were sneaking a bottle of booze into the dorm. I had it under my coat and my cousin who gave it to us warned me not to carry it that way. He said "you'll drop it, it'll slide on the floor, and stop right before a counselor who'll turn you in!" Well, I carried it that way anyway, and he was exactly right how I dropped it, it slid, and the only difference was that the counselor didn't turn around when it stopped behind her! We got upstairs to our room after we signed in for the evening (!). Imagine our horror then when our phone rang with instructions to come back downstairs to the sign-in desk! Then imagine our relief when we realized that we had forgotten to sign in. We never tried to sneak another bottle of booze in again! How is that for embarrassing or should I say dumb?!

I laughed so hard about your peeing-your-pants story!

Oh you are so going to love your triple line.
I am not kidding you will. Best thing since
sliced bread. All the cool kids have the triple
line.

Now my red faced story; I look or so people tell
me like Marie Osmond, yes my parents were Mormon's. Sarah as we were sitting in a airport
tells this couple sitting by us. I am indeed
Marie Osmond would like my autograph and maybe
just maybe I would sing for them. I kept
sliding further and further into my chair. I did
not know if I should laugh or cry. Those poor
people walked away thinking I was Marie Osmond.

I will share other red faced moments. This is your
first installment.

Now Shoshie she could cause a blog blowout on
her stories. Let us not forget Shoshie is a
little crazy and gets herself in a few pickles.

Look on the bright side at least it was water.
You did not spill a soda and have a sticky
coochie.

Love,
Nikki

I needed this giggle right now. Thanks.

I think one of my "finer" moments was my
first date with Sam. I was all dressed up and
I mean dressed up. I decided I should wear
these FMP's I we all know what those are. They
were at least 3 inches. We are going out for dinner. Any outing with me must involve FOOD. I must ESS at all times. Anyhooooo we get out of
the car we are walking I catch the FMP on a
crack in the sidewalk. I gracefully fall,
(ahem) I had opted for no undies, I did not
want a panty line. Here we have Shoshie on
the sidewalk one shoe off, sprawled all over
and no undies. But since it involved FOOD I
sucked it up and recovered from my shame and
went on and ate. Sam has never
recovered, he LOVES to tell anybody who will
listen that story. As Nikki said most of my
life involves horror stories. I will come
back and give you some more. I have NO PRIDE.
I have to rally the troops for school. Make
sure they wear UNDIES. I have one of my dot to
dot projects due today. I love that I get paid
to color and draw lines.

Do we need to send you some DEPENDS?
But as best as I can tell at least you
had on underwear, or didn't you?

Shoshie.

Eclectic wanted us to post for her. I bet her
worst moment was skiing in the nude. She loves
to ski. She probably skis naked. Won't she be
sorry she asked ME or the "sisters" to comment
for her. That's her story NAKED SKIING. Pass
the word on.

Hmmm. Thighs of Steel. Not exactly a good advertisement for Thighmaster though, is it:

"After three weeks of using our AMAZING product, you will be afraid to park a bottle of water between your legs, because your AWESOME thighs of steel will squeeze the water right out -- that's right -- all over your crotchtoral region and it will look like PEE!"

I knew those Suzanne Sommers videos were doing some good in the world.

Where's the pic of your tat?

Would you like to hear about the time I fell down the stairs at a fancy golf club in front of a whole bunch of people I was trying to impress or would you like to hear about the time in high school when I threw up at the grocery store in town - at the check out - did I mention every employee was someone I went to high school with?
Hey - thats 2 - bonus for you ;)

Okay, so I've just given birth to my second child (this was obviously many, many years ago as he's now a father himself, as you well know). And, as it was way back when I was still in my 20's, I had the body of a 20 year old, even though, I had just given birth. But, I was back down to the weight I was before I conceived and had treated myself to this really glamerous (or in my 20-year-old mind: I looked like a Barbie Doll) sundress. It was tight fitting down to the waist, with an open back that had criss-crossing straps and a full skirt. I thought I looked HOT in that dress. So, I got all dressed, packed up the two munchkins and headed to ... well, the only place I could go to and spend the money I had was to the GROCERY STORE! So, I'm stylin' in the grocery store, with my two cute-toe-headed boys and pickin out groceries, catching my image in the glass of the refrigs, and feeling good! And, believe it or not, I was getting some looks! I kept catching these people looking at me, and some, if they were in groups, would point and smile or laugh! I knew I was lookin' good! Wow, and people were noticing me! Me, the mother of two. Well, I get in line and start putting the groceries on the counter and reach down to get the stuff off the bottom shelf....the lady behind me leans over to me and whispers in my ear, "Honey, did you know your zipper is down?" The WHOLE entire back of that dress from the waist down was a zipper (stopped about my knees, I think) and I had forgotten to zip it up in my haste to show my New Self off to the outside world. I think I blushed for three days!

Sharing another one of my better moments.

Lisabeth and I went to the same college. We
went out one night for some adult beverages.
I had one too many adult beverages. I told
HER we needed to go NOW. I was in no shape
to drive. She said in a moment, well her
moment went into about 10 minutes. I knew I
was going to puke. I saw her nice big purse/book
bag and puked right in there. I have no idea
why she was so mad at me? Do you?

Shoshie

This post is seriously lacking a picture.

This sort of catastrophe is exactly why god invented hand dryers in public bathrooms....especially those installed for wheel chair users.

My most embarassing moment? Junior Prom, and me with my dress tucked into the back of my panty hose. Complete for pictures and everthing. I had to be told by the asst. pricipal. Horrifying

How about this: Imagine being in sixth grade and being caught out with your period with no money and no pad; using toilet paper from the girls' room in your panties instead; and having it fall out your trouser leg and land right next to/under the lectern as you're walking into class. Then sitting through the entire class terrified to go pick it up [because nobody would dare pick it up unless it was theirs] and wondering who noticed it or whether anybody saw it fall out and knew it was you.

No, I am not making this up. I wish to gods I were.

I sorta kicked it under the lectern on the way out. Sorry, janitor person :(

Crazy Lady's junior prom one really takes it, though.

I guess by now you are showing off your
triple line. Like I said all the cool kids
have them.

My other red faced moment. I went into a restroom. I had pulled down my pants, sat down,
looking at the floor. Thought to myself, wow
ever one else's feet are going in the other
direction. Yes I was in the MENS ROOM.

Oops

Nikki

In haste, I undressed one night taking off both my jeans and panties at the same time. In the morning, I put on fresh underwear and the same jeans from the day before. I then went downtown with my best friend and my husband. As we were walking from store to store, I felt something in my pants leg that felt like it was working its way lower and lower. Sure enough it was the old pair of panties that had got stuck in a leg of the jeans. I shook my leg a couple of times and there they were right in the middle of main street for everyone to see. I could have pretended they were someone elses and I just kicked them, but my husband and friend were laughing so hard that I knew I would not get away with that deception. I picked them up and jammed them in my purse. So glad to be able to share this embarassing moment with you.

You know this one.

Reliant Stadium. 70,000+ people. Texans v. Titans. I am fixing to run outta the tunnel with one of the T-E-X-A-N-S flags with the entire Texans team running behind us. This is one of my prizes for being an Ultimate Texans Fan finalist.

As I run out onto the field, my platinum blonde wig falls off, I catch it, and go to where I am supposed to wave the flag. I take my real hair down and shake it, like I meant for my ******* wig to fall off.

I see some mens in suits at the sideline, pointing and laughing their asses off.

Despite the wardrobe malfunction, I still had a great time. The next year, I wore a western hat over my real hair--and the hat stayed on. (Think there is a picture of that in October 2005 of Deb's blog--the hat on version, not the wig falling off year--the prior year, the wig stayed on--it was a different wig tho.).

Screw embarrasment--better to risk making an ass of yourself versus avoiding doing fun stuff because you are afraid of what stick in the muds will think.

BTW, thanks to the Texans staff, I have my wig falling off moment forever captured on video. Oh joy. Bet my kids will love it.

Don't think of them as hot flashes, think of them as power surges.

Hope you come back soon!!