Well the doc came in this morning and said the biopsy of my throat shows some graft vs. host going on. Which explains why I can't keep any food down whatsoever. Not even ice chips.
He said that it is fairly typical and that they will treat it with steroids. I sure hope that it works because I could not be any more thirsty and hungry. I'm pretty frustrated and basically try to sleep as much as I can.
They did away with the monster catheter and got rid of my morphine pump. But they hit me up with a wee bit of morphine last night because my stomach hurt so bad. I also ache all over and wish for a massage. My counts are pretty decent, which makes me happy.
I've also lost about 30 lbs since I've been here. I don't even want to think about that because I'm so wimpy and haven't been walking as much as I can. I just feel so weak when I'm not able to eat.
Well, I'm going to snooze a bit. TNT is showing Back to the Future and tonight is The Gladiator. Lots of movies I haven't seen in ages, so that's kind of cool.
Thanks for the words. They really do keep me focused when I feel like the suck.
I can do this. It will be easier when I can eat, but I still can do this.
Your assignment today is to enjoy your weekend. Do something fun. If you have kids, go do something with them that you normally wouldn't. If you don't have kids, go enjoy the weather and do something cool outside. Or read a book you want to. Just do something fun. March Madness and all.
Hey sweetheart,
Sucks to not be able to eat and drink when ya want, but we are definitely making up for it, promise..
I mean we actually ate FISH TACOS last night - whaddya know.
AND, an appetite is a good sign right?
Thought of you..Priya and Kameron send their love.
Peace and love and smooches
--sunil
Deb, I am so sorry that I havent been around as much as I like to be. Life has been crazy! This weekend, I am going to obey my Queen. Period. Right now Phil and I checking out movie times and one of my kids friends are spending the night tonight. We are all going to see a movie after dinner. The problem? 2 want to see 16 blocks; 2 want so see The Shaggy Dog- friend will choose when he comes over. By that- were thinking Phil and Brennen will see 16 Blocks, Hunter and I will see Shaggy Dog. They start at about the same time, so thats good. Tomorrow- roller skating may be on the agenda.
I feel silly commenting on this dilemma when you cant even eat! You are not wimpy. Going through this, does not a wimp make. Your body is doing what it needs to do to heal. Sleep all you need, and then some more. Let your body do what it needs, and the steroids will be awesome to help you eat. You are always in our thoughts and prayers. Even when I cant get to a computer or online, I think of you, how you're doing, and I just want to hug you.
You are a beautiful person, and are so very loved.
Love,
Dawn
Hopefully the new treatment means you'll be able to eat again, then you'll feel like walking again, and when that happens everything will seem so much brighter!
My something fun for today is going to Best Buy to get my Mom some wireless headphones because her new roomate in the nursing home cranks up her TV to drown out Mom's when she tries to watch anything...and I thought when my boys grew up and moved out I was through with things like this!
:o)
Thinking of you...
alan
Posted by: alan at March 18, 2006 01:27 PMPoor Deb. I'm hoping you feel better soon.
Posted by: Sarcastic Journalist at March 18, 2006 01:37 PMSteroids, eh? Good thing you're not planning on riding the Tour de France this year... or are you? ;)
G vs H can be handled. You are doing this. I'm glad you're rid of the catheter and the pump -- each step brings you that much closer to being able to eat and move and exercise soon. And you will be able to go home and be with Zoe.
Posted by: eclectic at March 18, 2006 02:43 PMJust wanted to check back with you and offer more encouragement. (I keep typing long comments and then making them disappear with just a couple of wayward clicks -- I'm going to try to keep it short this time.) Thanks for using your reserves of strength to keep posting. Thanks for the beautiful picture of you and Zoe. Sleep well, Deb, and enjoy your movies.
Posted by: Philosophical Karen at March 18, 2006 04:27 PMI have laid around reading Vogue, Elle and People. I lotioned my hands and feet and put the little gloves and footies on. I petted our dog and our neighbors' doggie who is visiting and I was thinking of you as I did all this. It was lazy and pleasurable and not important stuff, but fun.
Keep on keepin' on. You are the best.
booo hissssssss graft vs. host -
yeah steroids...
30 pounds eh?
bathing suit season?
I am off to a bowling bar mitzvah!
imagine.
Hugs and SUPERROIDS!
Love,
moo.
Posted by: Aimee at March 18, 2006 06:31 PMLauren and I went shopping this morning. Got her some new spring clothes....that girl is growing so much. We tried on shoes and she's 2 sizes bigger than the one's she wearing and she's now into the ladies' sizes! They grow up so darned fast. Then after that, we had lunch and went to the Ballet. Nice afternoon spent with friends and culture! This wasn't even one of those story-line ballets, like the Nutcracker or Swan Lake, and she loved it! I was quite surprised.
We all hope you are feeling so much better soon. OBTW: I couldn't do the blood thingy because I'm not a suitable donor! Imagine that!
You're in our prayers,
Denise :)
Take care baby.
Posted by: Mark at March 19, 2006 04:35 AMThe "superroids" comment above threw me off... lol Had to remind myself you weren't talking of hemorroids.
Getting out sounds like a good idea. Both kids are sleeping now, so I should get off my ass and take a shower.
Feel better already. Stupid cancer.
Posted by: mrtl at March 19, 2006 03:37 PM