This morning my doc said that if Zkat was not sick that I could sneak down to the 2nd floor atrium and see her. He was like... well you must see the birthday girl!!
I was glad I was wearing a mask, but she still saw my tears. She sat in my lap for almost an hour. She's so big. So sweet. I miss that child. I miss her so much.
Thanks to Sis #2 for dragging out her other two kiddos to take the time to bring me my angel. Sincere, big time prayers to her also that her house will sell, BTW (it's a cute 3 bedroom house in NW Houston with a big yard and a pool - email me if you are interested). I want it to sell because they need some room!!! And because Sis #2 and BIL #2 are so awesome and amazing for taking in my Zoe when I had no choice back in October. I love them humangous infinity.
Happy Birthday, my lovely girl. I was so blessed today to get to see her. She truly is my heart. Thank you sneaky docs. Thank God for today. Thank God for my lovely Zoe. I needed that more than anything.

"I want you to know that there is no way in the world that anyone on the face of the earth could love you any more than I do. I love you."
Posted by debutaunt at March 20, 2006 04:41 PMWell, I think this was more of a present to you both! What a wonderful outcome to the day. I sat here and cried my eyes out this morning after reading what's been happening. And I'm soooo very glad that I checked back in today.
Lauren's home with a 101 fever and I told her this morning that it was Zoe's birthday and she wouldn't get to see her Mommy. Well, I can't wait to tell her you got to spend time together! What a fantastic birthday...for every one.
EVeryone is in our prayers and today, one of them got answered! Praise God! Now, if He'd only get with the others on the list.
Love you,
Denise
I'm new to your story, but as a cancer survivor myself (breast cancer) and a mother to two young girls (5 and 2) I can relate with your situation.
Zoe is just beautiful and I am so glad that you got to see her today. I hope it's brief moments like this that can carry you through. You'll weather this storm and see brighter skies ahead...though I'm sure this moment in time must suck :-). I'll be following you closely and hoping and praying for you!
I'm so, so, so, so very happy that you got to see Zoe on her birthday. I know how much that means to both of you. Yeah! (I really need to come and see you soon. I'll call.)
Posted by: Christine at March 20, 2006 05:17 PMYAY DOCS!!
and happy birthday Zoe!
see sometimes things work out in a good way.. keep that momentum goin!
sleep well tonight having spent a great time with your Z.
peace,
biscuit
Yeah!
Three cheers for the Doc. Your happiness is crucial in your recovery. I love Zoe's 6 year old smile. It's beyond cute. It's downright adorable.
What a happy day indeed.
EV
Posted by: Maui Cos. at March 20, 2006 05:37 PMi'm sitting here crying. and sitting next to my 3-year-old daughter. i'm so glad you got to see her, deb. that's the best. just the best.
Posted by: kristin at March 20, 2006 05:54 PMHi Deb. I've been visiting for a while, but haven't commented because I could never think of anything to say, but today there is no more excuses.
I'm so happy you got to see your daughter today. What a great surprise for you both!
You are such an inspiring person and so strong. I can't wait to read the post about you finally being able to leave the hospital.
Posted by: Bente at March 20, 2006 06:18 PMDear Queen,
I cried and cried when I read what you wrote.
Tears of happiness for you and Zoe. 3 cheers for
your sister, and your doctors. I hope seeing
Zoe gives you an extra boost of good karma.
Queens fight for their princess. You can do this,
and we are all going to help you.
Love,
Lisabeth
The pictures of you and Zoe are precious.
Posted by: SWLF at March 20, 2006 06:22 PMYAY! I am beaming, and beaming more positive energy your way.
Posted by: sheryl at March 20, 2006 07:12 PMHURRAY for sneaky doctors. Hurray I say!
Posted by: Sis#1 at March 20, 2006 07:22 PMWhat a fabulous present for both of you. Your
daughter is precious, like her Mommy. I think
about you each day. I wake up and think "how's
Deb"? I pray for you every night, and I pray
Sarah is watching over you. I saw what you wrote
on our blog. Since you are craving candy, I think
Sarah found her way into your heart.
Kisses,
Rachel
Holding one's child makes healing endorphins flood your body. I'm glad you got that gift today.
----
A David Letterman Top Ten:
Top Ten Signs Your Doctor Is Drunk
10. Sterilizes his instruments with Cuervo
9. Before him is a tray of gauze, swabs, and green olives
8. Giggles every time he asks for suction
7. Climbs in the MRI machine with you
6. As you go under, you hear the words "amputate" and "head"
5. Left a pack of Camels in your chest cavity
4. While listening to the heart monitor says, "Shhh. I love this song"
3. Checks your reflexes by hurling a beer nut at your face
2. Brags that he was Slobodan Milosevic's guy
1. After checking you for a hernia, says, "Now you do me"
now this just made my heart as glad as a heart can be (after i stopped bawling, of course!). thank god for sneaky doctors, indeed! you *are* doing this.
Posted by: moxiemomma at March 20, 2006 08:07 PMI'm so glad that you have sneaky docs and a fabulous Sis #2 to bring Zoe to see you on her birthday. The best present of all for both of you...
I am so glad you got some Zoe Lovin'.
Posted by: Von Krankipantzen at March 20, 2006 08:21 PMI am a very bad Yiddish Yoda. I forgot to tell you
the Yiddish words which mean Happy Birthday.
A Freilekhn Gebortstog
Love
The Yiddish Yoda Master
Shoshie
Kids are better medicine than all the chemo or stem cell transplants in the world. Especially if it's a birthday kid.
So glad you got to hold your "medicine" today.
Posted by: Sharkey at March 20, 2006 08:29 PMThank you dear Lord for small favors. Maybe a few prayers were answered. Deb, give that doctor a big hug from me. It warmed my heart greatly today just reading this.
Happy Birthday, Zoe and get well soon Deb!!!
Posted by: Kay at March 20, 2006 08:31 PMThis makes me happier than words can say. Sneaky docs are smart, smart, smart! That's good medicine. ;-)
Posted by: Philosophical Karen at March 20, 2006 08:35 PMWhat excellent doctors to do this!
What a gift!
You and Zoe rock. You are so beautiful!
Yippee skippee and onward!
I cannot imagine reading anything anywhere that would make me feel happier tonight than this did. Thank you, Deb. Thank you, sneaky docs, and God.
That smile must be the best medicine there is.
You can surely do ALL things, now :)
Posted by: Susie at March 20, 2006 08:43 PMAwesome! Whose present was better? ;)
Posted by: mrtl at March 20, 2006 09:13 PMHAPPY ZOE DAY! I love you Debby and miss you bunches. Don't worry--you will get out soon. If you are feeling anxious to get out, take a walk if you have some energy. You will be glad you did. Anyway, big hugs for you. You kick serious booty.
Posted by: Lil' Michelle at March 20, 2006 09:19 PMLike Susie, nothing I could read would make me as happy as reading this has done! Oh what a gift it is to be with and hold your little angel on her birthday!! Her wish, and your wish, and our wish for you both has come true today. I'm so very thankful! Sweet dreams tonight, Deb.
Posted by: eclectic at March 20, 2006 09:50 PMI am overjoyed to hear of your blessing; may you have many more.
Posted by: Sometimes Saintly Nick at March 20, 2006 10:04 PMThat is the absolute coolest. So happy. For both of you! :)
Posted by: Keri at March 20, 2006 10:25 PMHOORAYYYYY!!!! Happy, happy, happiest birthday, ZOE!! How cool to see the best of all presents between Princess Zoe and Queen Deb - smiles, and real live, warm snugglie hugs. I'm thrilled for you and hope the healing is kicking into overdrive! Big 'ol birthday hugs for both of you!
Posted by: Bren/Cody'sMom at March 20, 2006 11:32 PMHooray for sneaky doctors!
That is absolutely wonderful, I do not have the words to say how much.
*huge hugs*
This is so happy. Your baby in your arms! I'm so happy for you two. This is wonderful.
Posted by: lawbrat at March 21, 2006 06:50 AMwhat a great present!
stay on target today...
will say a prayer to st. joseph for the house -
he's the guy for that job.
ooh that's so great!! i'm sure zoe thought so, too!
xoxo
Posted by: clandestine at March 21, 2006 06:57 AMJust coming back for a dose of the happy to start my day. And also, to say, keep this as evidence, Deb, a sign from God that there are, and there will be GOOD surprises.
Posted by: Susie at March 21, 2006 07:10 AMJust checking in to say "Hi"... I'm so very glad you were able to steal some time with the lovely Miss Zoe.
Hugs to you Deb.
Posted by: CircusKelli at March 21, 2006 07:58 AMSo there I was, feeling happy and touched that you got to see Zoe, at times fighting off tears in my cube lest they be misinterpreted (tomorrow is my 40th b-day) when I stumble upon Sheryle's Top Ten list from Lettermen. Then I start giggling and darn near do a spit take with my Starbucks....thanks a lot Sheryle, that stuff is expensive. Good thing it's a venti.
Anyway Deb, I am so happy for you. It sounds like you got an hour of the best medicine around and one with only good side-effects. Stay strong. You can do this, you will do this. I pray for you daily.
Posted by: Patrick at March 21, 2006 08:12 AMI am so happy for you and zoe. You don't have any idea on how your bravery has change my life. If you only knew that by reading your journal everyday it has help me look at life different. Maybe one of these days I will have the opportunity to tell you why you have change the way I see life. For now I just want you to know that you are a wonderful brave mother.
xoxo,
Loryss
Posted by: Loryss at March 21, 2006 09:18 AMHappy Birthday, Zoe!
Hugs,
Aimee
Posted by: Aimee at March 21, 2006 09:43 AMDeb,
I hope you are still feeling the power of yesterday. Yeah for the doctor's. Here's to a
good day for you.
Love,
Nikki
Whoo Hoo - God answers prayers!! So very happy for you both that you got to see your precious Zoe - I am sure its just what you both needed.
Praying for only better days ahead
Good morning! Are you still Zoe-drunk?? GOOD!!!! Have a wonderful, healing day today, Deb.
Posted by: eclectic at March 21, 2006 09:45 AMThat doc is a saint. Prayer answered.
Posted by: ieatcrayonz at March 21, 2006 10:04 AMproof that prayers do come true.
Posted by: cursingmama at March 21, 2006 10:10 AMjust got turn on to this web blog. awesome.
we have been praying for you and are so thankful that you are in good hands. your daughter is precious - and getting sooo big.
you kind of look cool in that mask.
your strength is amazing.
Posted by: Rick at March 21, 2006 10:34 AMGood Morning to the Queen.
Instead of a Yiddish word today. We are going to
have a funny Jewish joke. No horking today!
Seminars for Jewish men, given by women lecturers
1. Combating stupidity
2. You, too, can do housework
3. PMS - learn when to keep your mouth shut
4. We do not want sleazy underwear for presents - give us money
5. Wonderful laundry techniques
6. Parenting - no, it doesn't end with conception
7. Get a life - learn to cook
8. How not to act like a moron when you're obviously wrong
9. You - the weaker sex
10. Reasons to give flowers
11. How to stay awake after sex
XOXO
Shoshie
The Yiddish Yoda Master
Just checkin' in and seeing how you're doing. I hope the day is bringing you healing and great feelings.
OOOOOOH! That pic just fills my heart with joy for both of you. I'm so glad your doc knows you need a bolus of Zoe once in awhile to keep kickin' cancer's butt.
Praying for you every day.
Posted by: Kris Herbst at March 21, 2006 11:08 AMWOOHOO way to go Docs!!! That was very sweet of them to let you see Zoe on her bday. I'm sure that was the best present she could have gotten.
YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!
Posted by: Claudia at March 21, 2006 11:11 AMI'm so happy for you to get to see your beautiful girl.
Posted by: Sarcastic Journalist at March 21, 2006 11:22 AMNo prob, Patrick. I owe you one!
Posted by: Sheryle at March 21, 2006 09:58 PM