My neighbor must work at the hospital. Stomping around at 5:44am every morning. It's not quite as bad as getting your blood drawn, but I sure would like to be able to sleep through it.
Today was a good day. I still had some stomach issues, but Sis #1 brought me some jelly beans and her husband hooked up my DVD player. I'm going to watch Airplane tonight.
I talked to Zoe on the phone. She saw Ice Age. The girl is funny. I'm glad she got that from me.
I made myself walk today. A lot. I was wobbly and off balance, but I kept going with my IV pole in hand. It's so difficult, but I'm trying really hard to keep my legs moving. I lost another two pounds last night, but it's kind of silly to keep watching the numbers. I'm just going to keep going when I can. I'm so grateful that I know I *can* get better. That my muscles *will* get stronger. There are so many people that are not able and never will be. I'm grateful for today. I'm grateful to be alive and know I will be strong someday.
Time for dinner. Mom made homemades soup. It smells great.
I can do this. I have soup.
Your assignment today is to keep moving. There are so many things that none of us want to do, but they are necessary evils. Life really is pretty damn hard. I always thought it was hard as a single mom, but this challenge is so seemingly overwhelming to me. But sometimes you just have to forge through it. You might come out a little beaten and worse for wear, but if you can just keep moving, you are finished before you know it.
Do something you don't want to, but need to. Your sense of satisfaction will be well worth the effort.
I love you internets. Did you know that?
I will love you till my grave. This I know is true.
Posted by debutaunt at April 1, 2006 06:37 PMinternets love you back. mwaaaaaaah!
i'm walking 15 miles tomorrow. and this one's for you. keep walking, you ARE doing this.
Posted by: moxiemomma at April 1, 2006 07:52 PMSo glad to hear you have had a better day! I plan to meet your challenege, just don't know where to begin, so many things needing to be done, don't really want to do any of them, but, I'll do it. Thanks for the inspiration.
Posted by: Busy Mom at April 1, 2006 07:54 PMWell, your grave is far far off, so you better have alot of love for all of us out here for a long time!
Posted by: Fellow Eskimo at April 1, 2006 08:13 PMI am glad you are feeling better. I should send you my scale. It adds 2 pounds each time I get on it. I would like to trade scales with you. When will you be able to eat some Pappasitos? That is one of my favorite restaurants in Houston.
Posted by: Carol at April 1, 2006 08:24 PMYay, I did this one already. The moving, after not doing so much for a while. And I shall continue. Because I can, and I'm so grateful that I can. Like you :)
Now, forgive me if you've said this somewhere before already, but will you publish, in some form, your daily assignments? Everyone should read them, do them, IMO. And people would buy them. They make life better. You help make our lives better.
I send you internet love back. Let's see, today I did something I didn't want to do (I won't tell you what it was but it involves a sick child and it's kind of icky), but I did not really do a lot of walking. Does that still count? I'll definitely walk tomorrow, anyway.
Posted by: Philosophical Karen at April 1, 2006 09:30 PMDeb!
I have your blog in my bookmarked blogs section and haven't checked it out for a long while. Let me tell you, I'm impressed! Despite losing an impossible amount of weight in an improbable amount of time, you have the mind of a 13 year old who's just had a case of Mountain Dew--you've got ENERGY!
I'm trying to place where you are in your treatment right now, having missed quite a few postings. I see you have a different way of speaking since the last time I checked. Of the long roads I've been on, I've learned that it helps me little to think of how many steps it takes to arrive somewhere. Instead, I just make steps and they carry me wherever they do. In the marathons I've run, when it's come down to it, it's been a simple philosophy that has kept me going, with no triteness at all behind its utterance here: "Just keep one foot moving in front of the other." With a reminder here and a reminder there, I've been able to cover 78.6 miles in just under 11 hours. And to even achieve that took many days of training following the same principle.
Of anything that's been on my mind of late it's been form and principles, the latter of which constitutes the former. So, find those principles by which you want to live the rest of your life, follow them as best you can, and you're ahead of the unprincipled, formless pack who drift along like wood in rivers toward falls. The principled people get to the shore. There's no panic on the shore, only perspective.
Beeeeeeeeeen
Posted by: Beeeeeen at April 1, 2006 09:31 PMWe love you too or we wouldn't keep checking in. Hope that soup puts meat on those bones. Nothing like Mom's soup.
Posted by: Tutu at April 1, 2006 09:51 PMHugs! from Tuvalu...
keep walking!
Oh Deb - we love you too! You sound SO much better. Aren't big families wonderful? I'm so glad you have a loving family to help you get well and I hope your neighbor switches to afternoon shift soon so you can get some sleep!
Hugs and many prayers . . .
reading about your walking, i kept thinking of the walkway between terminal c and d at o'hare, the united concourses. there's a moving sidewalk, and one side is for standing, one for walking, and the subliminal voice under the goofy tinkly music says KEEP WAHKing KEEP WAHKing over and over. keep WAHKing deb, you're doing good.
xo
YEA! Walking, keeping up your strength, and knowing how far you've come is awesome. Keep it up!
We love you too!
Posted by: lawbrat at April 1, 2006 11:29 PMDeb~
You are so amazing! I know I say that often when I leave a comment, but girl you are such an inspiration! GO DEB!
This assignment I did already today thank goodness! Actually I did two things I didn't want to do! First, I spoke with my aunt about my mom's checking account and final bills...THEN I went to my mom's house and cleaned out the closets and sorted through all my parents left over clothes. Hard, HARD stuff and I didn't want to. I spent most of the time crying but it's done now!
Posted by: Traci at April 2, 2006 12:24 AMI spent 2 hours going through papers in a desk, and I have probably another hour or so in front of me tomorrow. And tomorrow, I will ride my bike for you if the rain has stopped. I'm with Susie, you should publish a collection of your assignments. Even my three year old finds them motivating!! HA!
Posted by: eclectic at April 2, 2006 12:38 AMI'm one of the "internets". Social. :)
Posted by: Mark at April 2, 2006 08:46 AMYour post and the positive thoughts made me smile and smile and smile and . .. .
OK, you get the point. Thanks, and welcome back .. . :)
Posted by: hamel at April 2, 2006 11:22 AMI hope today is find you rested and stronger. Each day is a new beginning.
I have the picture of you and Zoe on my fridge, and I look at it every day and just smile big. So heartwarming. Thats what you do. You warm hearts of so many people. You give courage and strength when one feels there is no more. When you feel there is no more, we are all right here to give it back!
As Susie suggested and Eclectic agreed, publish! I'd buy a copy in a heartbeat. Even if you just put together all your assignments, put them in a little book and sell it on your site. You never know what can happen.
Love to you!!
Dawn
Hi Deb
Jelly beans and a movie sounds like a perfect medicine. Walking is a great time to think. I try to walk 3-4 times a week, I do a lot of problems solving when i walk. plus it gets rid of any negitive energy and i'm sure my kids appreciate that. So i hope you can walk just a few minutes each day and before you know it you'll have the legs you've been wishing for.
Peace and Prayers
Nancy
Write the book!!! Please, Deb!! Just cut and paste all your assignments into a file and shop it around for a publisher; I know people would buy it. Who could resist the wit & wisdom derived from this battle from the Queen of Delft/the Universe?
I hope you've rested well and walked a little. You'll be the proud owner of a highly-toned body before you know it, girl! You motivate me to bump up my activity level and get my girlish figure back!
I've been appreciating the day, Deb, and appreciating my family and our blessings as a result of your courage. Please know that your power to lead and mostly by example rather than just with words, is awe-inspiring.
Posted by: Bren=Cody'sMom at April 2, 2006 04:01 PMYou totally made my day - welcome back Deb - we love you more!
Posted by: yasmin at April 2, 2006 07:27 PMSis #1 sounds like a keeper.
Posted by: Mark at April 2, 2006 07:30 PMi did it! i walked 15 miles by myself this morning. and every time i started to get too tired i reminded myself that i promised i'd do this for you today. and i did it. i hope you were able to do some walking today too.
Posted by: moxiemomma at April 2, 2006 08:46 PMDeb,
Shoshie called me from NYC and said you want her
a different week. You know it's OK with me and the
kids for her to visit anytime. I think you are
doing a superb job here Deb.
Shoshie, Lisabeth, and Rachel are having a grand
time. I have not been asked to post bail yet. I
am waiting for the bomb to drop when they wake-up
and realize Nikki is gone.
Those women together can be a lethal combination.
You take care,
Sam (Shoshie's husband)
Just checking in to say hi and let you know I am thinking about you. I hope today was a great day and tomorrow even better.
BTW I would buy your book in a heartbeat if you publish it!
off topic. does shoshie's sam have a single brother? i'm willing to convert.
Posted by: kristin at April 2, 2006 10:49 PMJust checkin' in today my dear! MWAH!!!
Posted by: Traci at April 2, 2006 11:41 PMGet a broom, and start banging on the ceiling at 3am. That'll learn her to stomp around.
Glad you got some homemade soup. That fixes everything.
XOXO back at ya.
Posted by: Kami at April 3, 2006 05:41 AMi'm glad you're so brave and strong! you have my admiration!
i hope you liked the soup!
and this 'internet' loves you back! :)
plus, i love that shoshie's husband posted. that's great :)
xoxo
Posted by: clandestine at April 3, 2006 08:06 AMI found my way here via CursingMama and wanted to stop by to send you lots of well-wishes!
Posted by: KathyHowe at April 3, 2006 09:37 AMGlad that you were up and walking a bit. Even though it took great effort, I'm sure it was well worth it. Feel better soon.
I think maybe you've got more love coming back to you than you even know is there. I find myself wishing you well, several times a day.
Posted by: Jennifer at April 3, 2006 08:15 PM