Didn't know I could speak Espanol, did you?
3:30am
Wide awake. I went to bed at like 9:30.
I think I need to just start reading a boring book or something. Online window shopping is way too easy.
I want some grapes. Or a banana.
I watched a show about a woman with 16 kids. I want to be adopted by them. They just built a 7,000 sf house with nine bathrooms yet all the boys were in one bedroom and all the girls shared the other. I'd be kind of pissed about that. It was like the Brady Bunch on steroids. They had a pantry that looked like a supermarket. I think they spent like 700 dollars at the grocery store. They make a casserole with meat and tator tots. I'm obsessed with it now. I'm obsessed with food.
Zoe and I played "chick tac toe" today. A gift from the Easter bunny. She beat me quite a few times. She found all her Easter eggs. Some had change in them. I liked it that she liked getting money. We hung out and watched tv and snuggled up a bunch. Then we went to the Outback with mom and had Easter steak. A first. Usually Mom makes like the whole ham/Easter/yams yummity goodness meal. I think the Outback's regular cook must have been off because that was one chewy, kind of funky steak. Now I want more steaks. But good ones.
I fell asleep with the tv on. Woke up to some Clint Eastwood Dirty Harry shoot 'em up thing. It scared me.
I felt extra extra ugly today. Even with my fantastic earrings. I put on lipstick and my face is so swollen that my mouth looked like I had been sucking on a lemon. Like all tiny and small. And I have some great lips. It's like being a pumpkinhead. My face looks like it's going to splode. I look like Charlie Brown with dangly earrings. I just want to wear a bag over my head and stay home.
I also could hardly step up onto the curb. What's up with that? It's ONE STEP for goodness sake. I used to be able to do like 45 minutes on the elliptical trainer AND lift weights. Gosh I'm so impatient it's not funny. I HATE FEELING 800 YEARS OLD.
Did I say I'm obsessing about food? Especially salads. It's like porn to me now. The perfect salad.
My legs hurt. I can't sleep.
There are 92304203948 pairs of shoes on Zappos.com. Did you know this?
I need sleeping pills. Do you all know how much I hate that? Do you know how much I hate medication?
Ok. 4am. Must try to sleep or I'll be a walking zombie tomorrow.
I can do this. I guess I'm going to need more drugs.
Did I say I'm obsessing about food? I need some Honey Nut Cheerios right now.
I am missing you. And your damn dog too.
Posted by debutaunt at April 17, 2006 03:29 AMhow much longer do you have to take the steroids?
I never knew how many shoes there are at Zappos - but I do know you can buy 'em, them ship 'em free and you can send 'em back for free...
which could be fun.
92304203948 pairs of shoes on Zappos.com? OMG! I think the real questions is how many are AFFORDABLE pairs of shoes. I have seen some on there for hundreds of dollars!
I hope you get a break soon from the steroids. Hang in there.
Posted by: Michelle at April 17, 2006 06:33 AMomg! i'm with blackbird on buying and trying and sending back--could be tons of fun!
sleeping pills suck, *but* not having enough sleep can really whack a person out, so i say do what needs to be done until you can get back on a natural schedule. my friend's doctor prescribed sleeping pills for 10 days because she hadn't had a good night's sleep in five years and she was getting weird ailments. she said it's amazing how much stronger she feels when she can get lots of sleep.
i love your body for working so hard to get you well even if it makes you feel like you have a pumpkin head and 800 year old legs because i know your body will work just as hard to get you back to being the old deb as soon as it can. and then? holy moly, watch out!!
salad porn is going to make me laugh all day long!
hang in there, deb. the internets are with you.
Posted by: moxiemomma at April 17, 2006 07:02 AMLove you, sweetie. I hope you were able to get some peaceful sleep.
Posted by: CircusKelli at April 17, 2006 08:08 AMxoxoxo
one day soon you'll be able to eat salad upon salad and run, hop and jump as much as you want!
happy day after easter! :)
or boston marathon/patriot's day. whichever ;)
Posted by: clandestine at April 17, 2006 08:26 AMThe Arkansas family with 16 kids kind of scares me. Maybe it's just the chick mullet on mom. Go for a smaller family of 11. You can convince them to take you in by saying, "It's cheaper by the dozen."
Posted by: ieatcrayonz at April 17, 2006 09:01 AMYes, the Druggers (I think their name?) are definitally over the top. Talk about overkill. And I take it you arnt missing Dorthy? ;)
Posted by: Fellow Eskimo at April 17, 2006 09:56 AMI'm sending you to the biggest salad bar in the world as soon as you're clear to eat it. HOpe you have a great day today, Deb!
Posted by: eclectic at April 17, 2006 10:01 AMI love Zappos. LOVE IT. Um, they have shoes for Zoe, too. Yeah.
Will Bendaryl work for you? To knock you out? At least it's not a sleeping pill...
Hugs.
Posted by: Kami at April 17, 2006 10:14 AMI have horrible sleeping issues- to the point of wearing a machine to sleep. It sucks. When I dont get a good night sleep now- its horrid.
Shoes are a girls best friend- dogs like to eat shoes. I'll take shoes over a shoe-eating dog.
Soon, you will not feel 800 years old. You will gain your strength, and be stronger than ever! We keep praying for you to gain strength. It will happen.
Love,
Dawn
Maybe try knitting--that is what I do when I wake up at 3 or 4--well after I check my blogs of course.
Posted by: Tutu at April 17, 2006 11:46 AMYes, Zappos does have all of those shoes, but only the yucky ones will probably fit you right now. Do not order any shoes yet unless you just cannot stand it. At least they have a great return policy!
You will get off the steroids, you will unpuff, you will look great. And you will get a salad!
God, I want a salad.
day -3,
Laurel
Yum!!!! Tator tot cassarole!!!
Big favorite in our household.
Posted by: Holtdad at April 17, 2006 11:48 AMAm I the only one that knows nothing of the tator tot cassarole?
I love tots
Mmm--tator tot casserole...sounds like a hashbrown casserole I heard of once...
You like food--go check out the mac N cheese Random and Odd has a pic of today--complete with recipe...made me drool!
That family cracked me up! 16 kids--the mom was so excited about getting a grand piano...she looked so young still and like she could still have one or two more kids...
Hope you can sleep tonight--warm milk help?
Posted by: Effie at April 17, 2006 03:18 PMSleeping problems stink, but the last time you were obsessing about Honey Nut Cheerios you got some great news (I think about your biopsy result and your #'s were great). So maybe you are going to get some good news or aleast a good night sleep.
Take care
nancy
i'm with bb, just order and return. it's like recycling. ;)
Posted by: kristin at April 17, 2006 04:17 PMReading your post, I kept thinking how nice it is to hear you chatter about stuff at home. I'm so glad you are out of the hospital.
I know about Zappos and their evil temptations. Shoes are our friends. I sometimes purposefully search for shoes above $600 so that I can be astounded and self-righteous over my $15 mules from Payless. Yet wistful.
Posted by: Sheryle at April 17, 2006 07:03 PM"one day soon you'll be able to eat salad upon salad and run, hop and jump as much as you want!"
This made me laugh for some reason. I pictured you as the Easter Bunny wearing fabulous earrings.
All right, enough of that. Wishing you strength. You will get there. Maybe sleep will help with that. Take what you need for it. It will make such a difference.
Posted by: Philosophical Karen at April 17, 2006 07:23 PMThere's just something about paying shipping charges to try on shoes that may have been returned by someone else...... *shiver* (I'm kind of surprised our germaphobic Kami is promoting this practice ;o)
Seriously though, I totally get the salad thing. There are days when the craving is so bad, just thinking about which items on the bar I'm going to use gets me all excited. It's like being a kid in a candy store...... only better, because now I know the true meaning of "orgasmic experience". LOL!
Posted by: motherofallchaos at April 17, 2006 10:53 PMHey darlin'...stoppin' in to see how you are today. I love the name you used on my blog. Somedays I definitely feel like a Bitchkateer. Very cool and apropo. I love you too. {{{{{Deb and Zoe}}}}}
Posted by: Traci at April 17, 2006 11:08 PMAloha,
Boy do I remember the Tater Tot Hotdish as we called it in the midwest.
Napolean would love it. For sure!
For the sleep thing. Have you tried Simply Sleep?
Can you take it?
Since your swelling up bigtime is it water retention? Kidneys? Can you take a diuretic? I'm sorry I'm so misinformed. I just wan't you to be comfortable in your own skin.
You are such a great writer that I have told many people to check out your Blog. Could be the start of something big. Eh, who knows.
Stay strong.
Aloha,
EV
Don't forget - Mike promised you & me a trip to Vic & Anthony's as soon as you were well enough to go there. They have like the BEST steaks in town - Morton's is the only place I have been to that even comes close - their filet mignon? YUM. And the au gratin potatoes? BEST comfort food EVER. DELICIOUS.
Finals will be over in a few weeks. Maybe we could go out for a "Mama's Day" celebration? :D (As in we're great Mamas and we deserve to celebrate with crazy delicious steaks!) Let me know when I should come pick you up and I'll be there!
Posted by: Christine at April 18, 2006 05:53 PM