April 25, 2006
How to make me laugh at 3am
Kristine at Random and Odd posed a question, "when do you feel beautiful?"
My reply was all sappy:
I feel beautiful when I've had a good hard workout.I feel beautiful when my daughter hugs me and snugs up with me. When she rubs my head and tells me my hair is growing back.
I feel beautiful when my sweet best friend tells me that I'm beautiful even when I'm bald, sick, and hurting. He reminds me that this is temporary. And that he thinks I'm really sexy.
I get this from Kristin in my email:
"Doooooooo---dddd. You are SOoooo hot without hair!"
And my girl Dawn at Clumsy Cajun actually sent me some pictures of her doing an assignment:
Okay, I partially did today's assignment. We'll call it "the anti-assignment". I ate a big ol piece of chocolate cake BUT I washed it down with water. See they balance each other out. Tomorrow I will take an extra flight of stairs just for you though. Hope you are well.
Entitled: "Cakeinhead"
![cakeinhead[1].jpg](http://www.debutaunt.com/archives/cakeinhead%5B1%5D.jpg)
Entitled: "With Water"
![with water[1].jpg](http://www.debutaunt.com/archives/with%20water%5B1%5D.jpg)
Totally just like going to the movies and ordering Peanut M&Ms, buttered popcorn and a hot tub of Diet Coke. The calories negate themselves.
Yes. It's 4am. WIDE AWAKE, PEOPLE. What's up with that? Could it be that I woke up having this dream that this big giant talking pet bird wanted to sleep in bed with me. I had the covers over my head and it was all like trying to sit on my head and I'm trying to get it off and into it's cage. It wasn't like a scary bird. It was one of those kind that talk to you. It was weird that I just wanted this damn thing off my head. Maybe it means my hair will be growing out like Medusa or something.
First I dream of Mrs. Haversham, then I'm owning a Pee Store, now birds? You'd think I was like eating pepperoni pizza with jalepenos and acid or quualudes for dinner or something.
I worked out today. It feels like such a wimpy workout. Sixteen minutes on the bike, a few leg presses and some lat pull downs. I know. Baby steps. But I wish I could sweat just a bit more. I have to be careful of the central line as it could get infected. Bad enough it peeled up some and I jury rigged it with some tape. I need to go get a bandage change today (which is a pain - you wait like an hour for something that is done in ten minutes). I want to sweat. Like ride that bike to my Busta Rhymes and kick my own ass. Patience. Not one of my strongest virtues.
I also got my DVD from my cousin of Boston Legal. Damn I love that show. I immediately watched it. It was a good one. I can't wait to watch the new one tonight.
I better get my butt to sleep. Back to the hospital today. Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Fridays are my new clinic days. The rest are at home. I kind of dig it because I get to hang with mom a bit more.
I am doing this. With some bizarro dreams, but still.
Your assignment today is to not whine. No Whinese for just one day. See if you can do it. Pretend you are like those cheery elderly people, like the volunteers at MD Anderson who when you ask them, "How are you doing?" they answer "F*cking awesome!" (no, just kiddin')
When people ask me how I'm doing, I really just try to say, "Well I'm still movin, so that's a sweet thing" or "Great. I'm doing great." I hate to hear myself complain, even when I feel like crap. We've already discussed *rolls eyes here* the "it could always be worse game," so for today, try to pretend that you are just fine and dandy, even if you aren't. Be cheerful if you can, and fake it if you can't. But, please, no whinese allowed.
And if you blog, why don't you blog about a really good memory you have. That always cheers me up.
P.S. There has been a lot of death and dying going on these past few weeks. Positive vibes and prayers to you all. I can't imagine what these famillies are going through. "That which doesn't kill us will make us stronger." Well screw that. People dying and grieving just sucks ass. I'm sorry you all are going through it. Funerals suck. All funerals suck. They just do.
Unless it would be at Tom Cruise's funeral because he died choking on Katie's placenta sammich. Ok. That would be a sad funeral too because I'm sure they would do some cheese movie montage of all of his films and life - where he's the *best* at everything... the best pool player, the best pilot, the best race car driver, the best lawyer, the best Scientologist, the best suck his girlfriend's face off on the red carpet so she has herpes mouth all the time... if it weren't for Jerry Maguire.... oh, don't get me started on Senor Cruise.
I love you internets, but especially you. Like seriously. Especially you.
There's another way to make me laugh at 3am, but we aren't going to go there. Those parts are in retirement for a while. We're talking cobwebs, people.
This is still my favorite bald picture of myself. Right around when I had to shave my head. It was before I lost my eyelashes and eyebrows. I can't believe I am not wearing any makeup. But it always makes me smile. Me and Zoe's "orang-a-ma-tang" that she brought me from the zoo.
Good morning Deb
having a M W F schedule sounds great. it must make a big difference in the craziness of the day.
Waking up at 2 in the morn sucks, but a bird dream I guess is better than a pee dream. TO get a good nights sleep must be the dream you are hoping for.
Sixteen minutes on the bike is great. You are not going to stop there, but you have been beat up bad and sixteen minutes is terrific. don't be too hard on your self, your doing a lot more than me these days (due to work and laziness).
I hope you have a great day off from the clinic
take care, Peace and Prayers
Nancy
16 minutes on the bike is about 16 minutes more than most people do. People who haven't gone through BMT.
Keep kickin ass, taking names, and doing what you can do!
Posted by: Sis#1 at April 25, 2006 08:27 AMHey, I'm with Sis #1! Most people who are not recuping from a BMT (doesn't that sound like a 'sammich'???!) can't or won't do 16 minutes on a bike. You freakin' ROCK! Keep on keepin' on darlin'. You are doing a fabulous job and I'm so proud of you!
Posted by: Traci at April 25, 2006 08:34 AMSo I start off my day all righteously pissed off, slamming things around, everyone knows how unhappy about this totally not righteous thing I've been burdened with... and then I read your post.
D'oh.
Then I read further and almost spew coffee.
Go, Deb, go, from your secret (ok, one other time I commented) lurker.
Posted by: Peg at April 25, 2006 09:20 AMDeb - 16 minutes is more than my fat ass has done in a long while. As always you inspire me and I'm gonna start kicking my own ass starting TODAY. No more excuses . . . something healthy today and everyday!
You crack me up about Tom Cruise - sitting here at work laughing my arse off . . . . :-)
Hugs
Good morning Deb,
Sorry I haven't been commenting for a while, we had Spring Break with the kids and now our traveling Baseball season is back in session. My son's team has won the last 2 tournaments though. Anyway, I was so sorry to hear about Nikki. My thoughts and prayers go out to her family and loved ones. I felt like I knew her through your blog; what a special lady!
Now, I must say that you have made me feel SOOOOO GUILTY for using my treadmill as a dust magnet. You are doing so great on that bike. I don't think I could go 16 minutes! But, alas, I must.I must get back in shape to correct some health issues. So thanks for you inspiration I will start walking with my IPOD today!!!!!!!!
PS: if you hear a LARGE crash over there in Texas. Don't worry, it's just me falling off the back of the treadmill. LOL LOL I'll let you know how I do.
Cami
Posted by: Cami at April 25, 2006 09:58 AMNo whining? Really? Not even just a little bit? None AT ALL?! Ugh. OK...
I'll do my best just for you, Deb.
You're beautiful. Your heart shows it.
Love you.
Posted by: CircusKelli at April 25, 2006 11:08 AMcompletely ditto what sis #1 said! you are doing a fantastic job! your talking bird cracked me up because if i had a talking bird dream the bird would have my son's face. did your bird have anything of import to say? i love wild dreams :) i will post some good memories on my blog later for you and will tell the boy that you said it's a whinese free day today!
Posted by: moxiemomma at April 25, 2006 11:10 AMYour sis is absolutely right! You're shaming me into doing some form of exercise now. I've been instructed no less than 30 minutes, so I'm going to get it in, some how. I'll let you know how it goes, but I think it's totally awesome that you're so into this!
No whinies! Got that one, loud and clear. I usually don't whine, I bitch. But, I'll work on that one. I have that same feeling about being asked how you are.....I've gotten to the point where the response (Oh, just fine!) is so automatic it comes out of my mouth before my mind even registers, ahhhh, no you're not, your pain level is up around 8 today, your face looks like crap and your all a chunk. But, I'm still giving it the "Oh, just great" comment. Or, every once in a while, "Oh, fair to midline". My mother used to say that all the time. My favorite is, "Blessed". How I love it when I ask one of the older ladies at the church, who I know her husband is dealing with all kinds of stuff, she's got all kinds of things on her plate, and her answer is always "Blessed". Just makes me smile......so, here you go: How am I today: Blessed! Absolutely Blessed!
Love you,
Denise :)
Dang, that cake really makes me look hot.
Posted by: Dawn at April 25, 2006 12:15 PMAlooooooha,
Ok. Now I'm fired up.
You have inspired me to actually blow the dust off my pilates dvd that I bought a year ago. No more excuses. If my superhuman cousin can do 16 minutes with what she's been through, I can certainly go try this pilates thing with Daisy. Hey it's why they created Aleve, right?
Dang, didn't realize this thing was so dusty. Ahhhhh chew!
EV
Posted by: Maui Cos. at April 25, 2006 02:06 PMIt would be funny to hear one of those volunters say that. Now every time I ask one how they are doing that is what MY mind will hear in responce. I got my beloved back in the gym last night. He needs it for his bones. Gotta keep 'em strong as long as possible.
Posted by: Paige at April 25, 2006 03:59 PMYou know how you see people on like Jenny Craig commercials and in their before picture they are eating a piece of cake? And you think, why in the world would anyone let a picture like that be taken of themselves? HA! Debs assignments, that's how. That's the pic I'm going to use to bust through on the Maury show when I lose weight and go on for the topic of "You Were Mean to Me in High School, but Now I'm Hot".
Posted by: Dawn at April 25, 2006 05:42 PMdeb- i hope you can get good rest tonight. thinking about you and praying for you, too.
Posted by: miah at April 25, 2006 09:01 PM:::singing:::
Caaaake! Glorious Caaake!
Iiisn't it so tasty!
Caaake! Glorious Caaake!
Don't want it to wast...ie (?)
Nevermind. ;o)
Posted by: M_D at April 25, 2006 09:16 PMOh lordy Deb! You can workout longer than I can! You.Go.Girl! I can walk for a long time, but an exercise bike- not so much. I'm getting there though. I'm going to try to get up to 5 (sshhh, dont tell anyone).
Posted by: lawbrat at April 25, 2006 09:30 PMI like her jammies *wink*
Posted by: Gracie at April 25, 2006 09:56 PMThinking of you tonight as I watched Boston Legal, Deb. I LOVE it, too.
"Do you think it's a sign of Alzheimer's if you can't remember how many people you've shot?" -- Enny-Day Ane-Cray
Yeah, funerals suck.
Dude. Take your sleeping pills! Or send to me, because homegirl isn't sleeping. :)
I did whine today, but I get a pass, because I had a funeral. I won't whine tomorrow. K?
Posted by: Kami at April 25, 2006 10:48 PMThank you Deb. I did today's assignemnt and posted a memory.
Posted by: Missy at April 25, 2006 11:37 PMA memory, huh? That may take me a day or two, but I'll get to it. Without whining! Oh Deb, I wish I could hug you this evening. Take care!
Posted by: eclectic at April 26, 2006 11:18 PM