debutaunt.com

Hibernating - Too Sleepy for Prime Time

UG! I missed Gray's Anatomy last night. I heard it was a good one. I walked 900 steps yesterday. How did you do?

I can't even stay awake until 9pm. How sad is that? I've been giving into the sleep. Into the naps. A nappin fool. I napped a lot yesterday. I also went to bed early. And even though I woke up a few times, I slept until nearly 6am today. That's a first.

I have a lot to do today. But I just want to stay in bed and read or watch movies or listen to music. I am going to get my stuff done and get to the apartment gym to work out. My legs still hurt so bad I just can't believe it. I feel like I should be using a cane and I hate that. I don't want to. I feel like the workouts/rehab are doing like nothing to build the muscle. I don't feel any stronger and most days my legs hurt so bad I feel weaker. I talked to the nurse and she said to up the Darvon if I needed to. I might. I need to keep going and push through the pain.

See what good angels Sarah and Nikki are? Right now Tom Petty's "I Won't Back Down" just came on my computer. This happens all the time. I always have it on shuffle too, so when I "need" to hear something, it comes on. Just the perfect song.

We had a good weekend. I feel kind of bad that Zoe is stuck in the house more often than not, but we have some really good talks and watch movies. We watched Spiderman 2 yesterday (her request). It was kind of scary, but she hid her face in my armpit during the scary scenes. It was sweet to snug up with her for a few hours.

She was really excited because she got to see my dad and my mom took her swimming yesterday. She just loves to swim so much. I wish I could go too, but it's way off limits because of my catheter line. She is also excited because Sis #2 is moving to their new house next week. I'm so happy for them. So much more space. The house is adorable too. Zoe will have her own room. I hope she likes it. They deserve this. I think they will be really happy there.

We went to dinner before we took her home and had some great steaks. Zoe's steak was huge, but she ate the entire thing. She was so good at dinner and did some really sweet drawings. She also smothered her lips in this purple lip gloss that she got in the mail. We got the most amazing package from my Sis #1's sweet friends, Kay and Ritterskoop. There were all these awesome/hilarious CDs (80's music), some tasty treats, jammies, some kitchen gadgets, lotion, tea, movies, and some weightlifting training books. My nails still have the sparkly glitter nail polish that Zoe put on me. It was a nice surprise and way too sweet. I am soooo behind on my thank you notes. I feel like such a slacker.

Well I better get my lazy butt out of bed. I have to do my daily infusion of fluids. They take about 3.5 hours. I've been reading up on the puffy face/steroid thing, but basically you just need to be off steroids for it to stop. It's not like normal swelling where you can hydrate/lower sodium intake/take something for it. That works a bit if you have swelling in your legs (like when they gave me some lasiks). The face swelling is like hard to the touch. And while it just looks like I am really fat, the swelling isn't jiggly or anything. Just totally puffed out. I swear it makes me want to cry when I look in the mirror. (and yes, I got called sir again yesterday at the restaurant even though I had on huge hoop earrings - grrrr) I wish I could wear some shoes other than sneakers so I could wear skirts or dresses or something.

Eh. Temporary. This is all temporary. No more Whinese for today. No mas. Not allowed. I see hair and eyelashes. That is good. I will focus on that.

I can do this. Mascara isn't too far off.

Your assignment for today is to focus on one positive thing about yourself. I think most people are like... my butt is too big, or my hair is too frizzy, etc. Well, I think we all should start accentuating the positives. I know I'm really down on myself, but I have to try really hard to remember that it's only temporary. And that if I can't change something, that I will embrace it. Accentuate it even.

Besides. You never know who will like your parts.

A debu_reminder. Hair, eyelashes AND eyebrows.

Posted by debutaunt at May 1, 2006 05:43 AM