debutaunt.com

Merry Poopmas

and Happy Hannukapoo to Shoshie and my other lovely Jews. I guess also Happy Wintersolsticeturd and Happy Kwanzadoodie.

Looking over the Amazon Wishlizzles to see what is out there that I could get Zoe for Christmas. I got her a few books and some word puzzle / coloring things, but I figured Santa should actually bring her at least one toy. She mentioned Barbie (of course) and a Barbie car, even though she already has the pink Corvette.

So I stumble upon this:

Barbie Forever Barbie Doll with Tanner the Dog

According to the description:
This very special Barbie doll is accompanied by her pet dog Tanner. Tanner is soft and fuzzy, and his mouth, ears, head and tail move — just like a real dog. Tanner comes with a dog bone and chew toys, and you can open his mouth to "feed" him dog biscuits. When Tanner has to go to the bathroom, Barbie doll cleans up with her special magnetic scooper and trash can.

Tanner dog has movable mouth, ears, head and tail
Comes with doggie biscuits and a pooper scooper

What they are in a roundabout way of saying is that Tanner eats the "biscuits" and poops them out. Barbie then uses her magnetic scooper and trash can to pick them up.

buuuuut...

Barbie then magically converts them back into dog "biscuits" aka dookie biscuits for Tanner to eat and poop out again.

Um. Just like a real dog, Tanner eats his own feces.

I added it to my wish list based on the Amazon reviews:

1. I have never purchased a Barbie product...until now. I simply couldn't resist "Barbie & Tanner". I love this! It epitomizes everything I love and hate about America. Does this toy teach young girls moral lessons about the responsibilities of pet ownership and the importance of cleaning up their mess? Or, is it a classic blonde Barbie packaged together with a feces-eating devil dog? Who knows, and who cares. I'm sure the kids will enjoy it. I bought two. I gave one to the Toys for Tots drive, and plan on keeping the other for myself.. I can't wait to show the gang at work!

2. The sole (but mighty) justification for the purchase of this item is that it's so crude that it will almost certainly become a classic (and discontinued, of course) collector's item. You scoop the poops, the dog then eats then, et voila: more poops. Caveat emptor: get extra "food" items early on because they're almost certain to disappear into carpets or into real poops when kids eat them themselves.

3. The dog eats "dog biscuits", then expels them through a hole below the tail. Then the dog "eats" the expelled dog biscuits again. What is this supposed to teach? That dogs eat their own excrement? This is gross. My granddaughter picked out this Barbie in Toys R Us. Unfortunately, I did not read the discription of the toy on the package, if there was a description of a dog eating fecal material. I bought the doll because my granddaughter had earned a special treat and so far, I have had no reason to not trust Barbie. But this? I can not get over this disgusting toy. Everyone who sees it thinks it is totally gross.

That last one is my favorite. Can you imagine Granny unknowingly thinking she's buying "Madison," her sweet little granddaughter, a lovely little Barbie only to find out her dog eats the doodies?

I can do this. Because I know that someone out there is making a living thinking of toys like this.

Your assignment for today is to tell me about one of your favorite or most gross Christmas (or even birthday or whatever) present you received or saw.

Want to go on an extreme diet? Google poop (was looking for synonyms) and then look at the images page. There was one page that had a sound file that said "Poo Poo Man Liiiiiiives. Poo Poo Man Liiiiiiiiives. Pffffttttt."

But I did find some funny pictures

JLo. Just like us...

Jesus. Getting Jiggy with it...

I'm sorry. But your cat is POSSESSED!!!

Jesus. Cactus. *sorry*

I loves me some George Foreman!

and pinatas

Now that's an emergency

Posted by debutaunt at December 11, 2006 04:47 PM