Should I:
1) Douse mine eyes with Holy Water?
2) Go immediately to confession?
3) Say 2394230948 rosaries?
4) Ask the Pope to pray for me and my lust-filled heart?
5) Or buy this. amazing. calendar.
God is great. God is good. Let us thank him for the Dude.
An Ode to my Meds. Haiku Style:
Oh mighty Zyrtec
You clear out all of my snot
Don't wakeup without
Fat Potassium
Nearly hork while swallowing
Big giant horse pills
Love you Ativan
You make my day delightful
And a little bit high
Centrum Silver rocks
My nails are super duper
But hair now gray too
Calcium Chewy
Plus Boron and nutrients
Promotes my bone health
Magnesium blows
Stay near a bathroom always
It is a butt bomb
Depressed? Try this pill
Lexipro a-gogo, yo
You suck donkey balls
Norvasc. High blood pressure
Never had it my life
But mine is a wee up
Prograf is so small
But keeps me from rejecting
Most important med
The little blue pill
Valtrex stops the viruses
You don't want the herp
Protonix, my fav
My superhero of meds
Protects all my guts
Medrol is from hell
A necessary evil
Steroids. Fat face, blah
Don't get pneumonia
Bactrim on Mondays Fridays
Muy important
Vfend defender
Protects me from viruses
Suck it down two times
Lomotil Oodle
For your butt diarrhea
Very infrequent (add... whew!)
Lasiks for swelling
I don't take it that often
Makes you pee a lot
Lonly is Lopid
You made me hork every day
So we cut you off
Yay! Vitamin D
Strong bones for Glamazon me
Protect yer bones, girls!
Diabetes sucks
Take 3 kinds of insulin
Determined to stop
Ah. Then there's Darvon
Don't take it that often, but
Will do if needed
Starbucks is my love
My absolute drug of choice
I want your babies
BIG FAT CAFFEINATED BABIES. I WANT TO HAVE 2940823049 STARBUCKS BABIES. I WANT TO LIVE IN A STARBUCKS CAFE. I WILL NAME MY FIRST STARBUCKS BABY BARISTA VENTI LATTE. SHE WILL HAVE CHOCOLATE EYES AND FOAMY HAIR. AND SHE WILL NEVER SLEEP. AND I WILL WANT TO BITE HER FAT CHUBBY ARMS AND PUT HER IN MY BELLY.
I can do this. I'm caffeinated and am heading to the gym. I think I will do an hour of cardio as penance.
Your assignment today is to pray for me. I'm thinkin I need it. Even if you don't pray, just say.. hey, I know Deb believes in You big time. I know You like her. And she misses her friends. So please send her some goodness today. Make it a good day. She needs it.
And your other assignment is to stop bashing yourself and your body. If you don't like it, accept it for now and make it feel good. Right now there is nothing about my body that I even remotely like. But regardless, my legs are getting stronger and it makes me feel fierce when I feel down and like a big time sloth/ loser. Walk. Workout. Eat healthy. Have sex. Do some yoga. Turn off the tv and enjoy some good tunes. I'm listening to Stevie Wonder. You can't be bummed to the dude. To this song, it would be impossible.
I need some iTunes. I'm need to be inspired.
I love you. You know that, right?
Posted by debutaunt at January 29, 2007 10:00 AMHere's the thing. I mean, I'm not Catholic, so I don't know how the confession thingy works, but I've seen it in movies, and those are realistic, no? So anyway, if my priest looked like this, I'd be a bad girl on purpose, go to confession, lick the little divider thingy, and ask for a spanking. Just sayin'.
Posted by: kami at January 29, 2007 10:55 AMOh, and I love the poem.
Posted by: kami at January 29, 2007 10:56 AMThose priest make me want to go to confession now.
You are really good at these Haiku's.
Posted by: Claire at January 29, 2007 03:54 PMOkay, seriously, if I didn't need to go to confession before looking at those priest, I'm pretty sure I do now.
Thank you, Deb, for once again, putting my soul into moral peril.
On a brighter note, I joined Weight Watchers today. All I can say is that, you know all those foods that you think are okay, Club Lite at Jason's Deli - 11 pts., Soy Protein Oswala drink - 6. This doesn't sound like much, but when you only have 25 pts. to screw around with. Hmmm.
Ok,
First off that calender has me really questioning it's authnticity. All I get when I think priest is Father Parasal, not sure if I spelled that correctly, When I was little I thought he was God. An enormous presence if you catch my drift.
We have an area here on the island called Haiku. I think all the survivors who live up there would love your Haiku.
I cannot envison Sis #2 at Weight Watchers. Doesn't she weigh like 130 ounces or something like that? Though I have not seen her since she sang and danced on an old apple box for us as a lil kid up in skeeterland.
EV
Posted by: Maui Cousin at January 29, 2007 10:02 PMJust don't wear "paten" leather shoes.
Posted by: Sometimes Saintly Nick at January 29, 2007 10:25 PMDamn... I'm going to hell. Because I want to have sex with several of those priests, and I would do it in a church if necessary.
I think I'm having a resurgance of faith!
Posted by: Angie at January 30, 2007 09:08 AMDamn...if our Priests had been hot like that maybe I would have stuck around longer.
Do I have to do all the crappy classes again to rejoin? And I want to go to the church where the first guy preaches.
Posted by: Shell at January 30, 2007 06:39 PM