debutaunt.com

MD of the A

I'm in Houston for my one year checkup.

I'm a mess.

I have bronchitis.
I have an ear infection.
I have a sinus infection.
And a broken toe.

I'm so bummed because I have been doing so well working out and feeling better so I was hoping to show off to my people at MD Anderson. But now I'm all snuffly and coughing and I have to wear a mask. Although there are so many really sick people there (coughs, sneezing, etc) that I'd wear one anyway.

I know, I know. You are all like.. broken toe???

I was putting gas in my car after I dropped Zoe off at school. I'm a lazy mom, so I took Zoe to school in my monkey jammie pants and flip flops. I went to put upgraded gas in my car, and knocked the unleaded pumper thingy on my foot. Right on my big toe. It's all purple and swollen. But I got a pedicure so it's not so nasty looking. But damn, it hurts like heck. I may see if they would x-ray my foot because it's swollen too.

I get an eyeball exam tomorrow (yuck - dialation) and a bone marrow biopsy. Let me again remind you all how fun these are.

You may feel a sharp sting and burn when the anesthetic numbs your skin over the aspiration or biopsy site. You may hear a crunching sound and feel pressure and some pain when the needle enters the bone. The pain usually lasts for only a few seconds. During an aspiration, you may feel a quick, shooting pain down your leg as the sample is taken. This pain stops as soon as the sample is removed.

Honestly. It's about 1,000 times more painful than this description. Seriously. I hate it. And since I have to drive myself tomorrow, I can't get high. Wheeee. So after that, I'm going to book out and hit the darvon.

and for the TMI girl stuff, see below:

Apparently the results from my obgyn, Dr. Cox's, (make joke here) test were wrong. His "letter" (how personal) saying that I was not in menopause was incorrect. My obgyn at MD Anderson told me that my FSH level was 38. The normal range is 25, MDA's is 35. I don't know what my test results from Dr. Cox were, but I'm going to ask. I just had the blood test done on January 19th. I'm very irritated about this.

The chemo/radiation causes (can cause?) you to go into menopause. It is sad in a way, but I don't think I could handle any more children anyway. And by the time I had enough energy to do so, I would be way too old. Even if it were through adoption. I'm no Joan Lunden. I always wanted to have like 4 or 5, but it wan't in the book for me

All of this reminds me of my friend Ashley. The 23 year old who relapsed and died. She was so upset that she would never have children. Sis #1 and I were there for that conversation and we told her that being pregnant isn't the be all and the end all. I didn't mind it so much, but to me, even if you adopt, I think that child is as much yours as if you gave birth yourself.

Anyway, I guess I will be learning all about menopause. I have hot flashes - I think - but I don't know much more about it.

I can do this. I'm sleeping on my neice's bed surrounded by 9309320 care bears.

No assignment for today. Just relax. I am going to bed.

P.S. Apparently Zoe woke up last night at 4am and went into my parents room. She climbed into my parent's bed and snuggled up with my dad. He finally couldn't sleep, so he got up for the day. Mom said she was crying and wanted to call me. At 4am. I talked to her on the phone tonight and reminded her to brush extra well because they had Valentines at school today and candy. I also told her to get her stuffed monkey, aka Mommy Monkey, and sleep tight with her. I hope she gets a full night's rest. Sweet little squeezer. I miss her.

Posted by debutaunt at February 14, 2007 11:24 PM