February 18, 2007
Jailhouse Rock
I'm in the Big House. Aka MD Anderson inpatient care.
Fever on and off and crackly lungs. I'm hopefully going to get out on Tuesday. I am better but I still feel pretty craptastic. I'm trying to pretend I feel good, but I just ... well, don't. Sometimes the congestion and cough are so bad I feel like I'm drowning. I nearly called my sister last night at 11pm to make sure my will is in order. I haven't ever been so consciously or realistically aware that I could die before last night. It really scared the shit out of me. I did call my mom and ask her Dr. Mom advice about bronchitis and that made me feel much better.
So how did this happen?
Wednesday was waiting on my eye doctor in the exam room and I couldn't stop coughing. I hear a nurse ask, "who is that?" They come in my room and check me out. Turns out I also had a low-grade fever. And my entire left leg was numb and I couldn't walk (I think from waiting over 4 hours to see her - although now it's somewhat better & I make myself walk).
[aside] The neurologist said the leg thing was most likely from the diabetes. I've never had anything like that before as it was numb for days. I also suspect that it was caused by the back troubles I have had before. Regardless, I don't want pneumonia, so I get my bootie out of this bed. I worked too hard at my gym to lose the muscle and the cardio to lay still.
[aside over]
So they pop me in a wheelchair and send me to the MD Anderson ER. I'm there for a few hours and they admit me.
It's weird being here again. I'm on my transplant floor (HI NURSE VICKI) I'm so much stronger physically and that makes it easier to deal, but then I cough or have headaches that make me want to rip my head off. And with no central line, I'm getting poked so many times that I'm bruised like a big ol junkie.
I see all the other patients out walking and it reminds me that I have to be strong and kick this stupid setback quickly. Every one of my close homies at MD Anderson didn't make it. I'm not giving in to that. I look at these newbie patients and I know that I've gone from that to this. That I made it through death and back and that compared to what I've been through, this is minor.
But it was the minor stuff that took some of my friends. Wounds that turn into deadly staph infections. Pneumonia. Viral infections. Strep infections. And they all go fast. (It just hurt to type that last sentence) It all starts off minor, but then spirals out of control. It catches everyone by surprise. To live through the hell of a transplant only to succumb to a germ.
I feel strong. I know I can do this. But then I sit here and can hear my lungs crackle with each breath.
I'll write more tomorrow. It's late and I'm wired from these breathing treatments I get, but I know I need to force myself to sleep.
I can do this. I'm too fucking stubborn to die.
Your assignment today... Say hi. Tell me a joke or two. It's lonely here. I really miss my family, but parking here sucks butt, so it's cool to not have a gazillion visitors. And I'll see them soon enough when I get out. Because I *am* getting out.
It's that time again
I miss my Zoe. I can't let myself think about how much I am missing her right now because it makes me ache to see her smoochie face. Prayers and love to Momo G and Papa for taking such lovey good care of her.
Someone is keeping my hope. And I owe her a Valentine's date.
Aw, Deb, I'm sorry these damned germs and crap keep testing you!! I would take your crackling lung issues if I could. Right now. I've got ANC out the wazoo to fight off crap. (I also have robitussin w/codeine to tackle the pneumonia I'm 'blessed' with at the moment. Unfortunately, I also have reverse reactions to meds that are supposed to help knock me out so I'm up with you tonight.)
Seriously, keep kicking ass. You definitely can do this. Big cyberhugs from here to keep you strong.
Posted by: Bren/Cody'sMom at February 18, 2007 03:15 AMWE can do this and WILL - while enjoying every single second of life. Sounds easy to write, but hard to do.
My thoughts are with you daily. In fact, I check several times per day to check up on you.
Sorry I've been a lurker for so long!
Posted by: Brenda at February 18, 2007 05:37 AM I was in the store buying a large bag of Purina for my dog and was in line
to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog…….Duh!
I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no, I was starting
The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn’t because I’d ended up
in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in
an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and
IV’s in both arms. Her eyes about bugged out of her head.
I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it.
I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works
is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or
two every time you feel hungry.
The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try
it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.
Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and was
that why I ended up in the hospital.
I said no….I’d been sitting in the street licking my butt when a car hit
me.
I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.
Posted by: Robbi at February 18, 2007 07:38 AM2 Peanuts walked down the street.
They had planned a nice, quiet after dinner walk.
Alas, it was not to be.
One was a salted.
-------------------
(From my hubby; I'm not a big joketeller!)
Great story, Robbi.
Deb, I'm so glad to see Uma's photo back again. When I see that, I think of "You-ma," and I know you will kick @$$ and take names as necessary. Here's hoping you feel better fast.
Some really bad jokes to make you groan. We're praying for you!
1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.
2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way, Unique Up On It.
3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?
They Take The Psycho Path
4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It.
5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!
6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroid's
7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick
8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese.
9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.
10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quattro Sinko..
11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.
12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite.
13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck.
14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef.
15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.
16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because! They Have Big Fingers.
17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog.
18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka.
19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover?
The Location Of The Dirt Bag.
20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.
21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad
Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang!
A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack.
22. How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same?
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer
Deb, as one who suffers from breathing problems (like at this very moment) I almost understand what you are experiencing. I pray that you heal fast and can give Zoe a hug very soon!
Posted by: Sometimes Saintly Nick at February 18, 2007 12:59 PMSorry to hear about your cold. I still believe in the old tried and true remedies. Down in Texas I bet you can get a good spicy chicken tortilla soup. I feel better after I have a bowl with a little lemon and some diced avocado garnish. Don't forget your liquids....no coffee doesn't count. Have you ever tried Sambucol? It's elderberry extract. Many swear it helps their chest congestion.
Keep fighting. You've come a long way.
And make sure that everyone washes their hands and uses gloves when they attend to you.
All the best,
EV
Posted by: Maui Cousin at February 18, 2007 01:05 PMKick some butt and get out of there Deb. It's what you do best. I'll be praying for you.
Posted by: Kris Herbst at February 18, 2007 01:48 PMJust said a little prayer for you. I check up on you every day. God Bless You. Sandy in Louisiana
Posted by: Sandy at February 18, 2007 02:19 PMI'm horrible at telling jokes, I can never remember them. Really, I'd have to sit here and Google jokes to find one for you. Instead, I'm going to tell you to drop by my friend Syd's blog, she's one of THE funniest people online, and it's all just her life. Check her out at: http://adrenalinesshadow.com/
Posted by: SassyFemme at February 18, 2007 05:11 PMOops, forgot to add, get better soon!
Posted by: SassyFemme at February 18, 2007 05:14 PMyou're one tough cookie. keep on keepin on!
i don't really know any jokes, but one girl in my program (i run an after-school program for middle school kids) told me that her dad is like a girl - he drinks smirnoff. hahaha!
Posted by: clandestine at February 18, 2007 09:23 PMI think this is my second comment here ever, but I really wanted to send positive thoughts down to Texas from Washington state. And here's a joke, courtesy of Madeleine, age 3:
How does a monster count to 15? On his fingers.
Posted by: Kat at February 18, 2007 11:34 PMYou need the same pjs my infant daughter has.....my best friend and I when talking about girl names decided we couldn't name her a sissy name. The name had to be tough. I said it had to say "I'll take you out, f*$&%^". So, baby daughter is born, i'm in the hospital and best friend arrives with pjs embroidered across the bum that say "I'll take you out, f*$&%^". Just wish newborn baby was crawling so i could see that message wiggling on her heinie. Chicks are tough! And you could kick anyone or anything's ass. Do so today.
Posted by: jill at February 20, 2007 12:22 PMI missed your call the other day, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you! If you need me to deliver another Papasitto's salad, just let me know! I don't mind the parking down there at all, and would be happy to visit! *kisses* (You know, with a mask on. So you don't get any bad germs.)
Posted by: Christine at February 20, 2007 04:40 PM