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These Go to 11

The spinal tap was totally painless thanks to my wonderful Finnish neurologist. She is so patient and kind. The fluid was clear, which is a good sign. I feel pretty worthless today as I woke up with a horrible headache at 4am. They gave me morphine and then I slept for about two or three more hours. I was groggy for a long time after that. My head hurts like a dull buzz all day long. And I really need a massage.

They also are trying to work on my blood sugars. I started some other medication and it makes my sugars drop too low. I bottomed out about three times today. But I'm glad that they will be reducing my insulin. I am going to get off of it some day. I am very determined.

I went to get some Sixbucks this morning in the cafeteria and stumbled upon a blood drive in the lobby. I walked over to the people that were signing up and thanked them all. I told them a brief history of my treatment and the over 20 transfusions I have had, and I think I made some lifetime blood donors.

I also ran into Nico. A long time friend of mine from MD Anderson. I met him the first day he was diagnosed. It was a very difficult day, but I think talking to my sister and me made him feel a little better. I learned about a few friends who made it, and many more who didn't. But I was just thrilled to see him. To see that he's still alive.

He hasn't gone through his transplant as there have been delays, but I was glad for him to see me and see how good I look compared to how I was before. I pray for him. He said he's ready to die, but I want him to live. I want for him to have a new life like I was so lucky to have.

I'm not sure when I will be getting out of here. I miss Zoe so much. I really miss my family. I call the house and sometimes Zoe talks to me and sometimes she just wants to go play. I miss her hugs and her little funny smile. I'm sad to be missing her Spring Break because we had made so many plans to do things. But I need to figure out what is going on with these headaches because I can't function like this anymore.

I'm in a lot of pain, but I really am in good spirits, so it is ok. I want them to figure out how to make my head stop hurting without drugs. I want so much for them to figure out exactly what is going on instead of just speculation. It's very frustrating, but I'm ok.

I can do this. I'm at the best place ever. They are taking good care of me.

Your assignment for today is to donate blood if you can. If you are ineligible, then I want you to convince just one person (minimum) to go donate some blood. I look at all of these patients on this floor and I remember how hard it was and how tired I felt. Sad to say that there is always a blood shortage around here. Please do what you can to help out.

P.S. Thanks to my new friend Billy for dinner last night. Salmon, artichoke hearts, green beans, baked potato, broccoli and a big fat brownie (which I ate half of). It was awesome and the sweetest gesture. Girls, he's single and way cute.

I watched this again today. It was nice to see how far I have come and why I do what I do.

Create Your Own

Posted by debutaunt at March 12, 2007 06:26 PM