This chemo has just opened such a can o' whoopass on me. I finished up the inpatient stuff last week and lo and behold (just because I wanted some stuffing and pie) the extreme bodily fluid explosion decided to keep me up all night. I dry hurled for hours and now there is some speculation that perhaps I inflamed a rib. I've never broken a rib, but I can imagine that is how this feels.
I got way too dehyrdrated for my own good and Sis # kindly drove me to the ER, where they made me HIGH!!! So they just kind of gave it the good ol' college try and then admitted me to the hospital. A day later I got some additional chemo and have had quite a few transfusions of platelets and red blood cells. I got some additional chemo again this evening. Yet, dangit, I still have had not pie. Not that I could actually enjoy it because el diablo rojo has given me crazy sores in my mouth. So basically mashed potatoes tasted like jalapenos.
I feel way too weak this time. My muscles are just bruised and battered. I swear I do look like I've been beaten up. I should call Zoe's uncle (former pro boxer) and ask how to heal the stutf.
My numbers are spooky low to me. My platelets have been in the 200's for yers. They are supposed to be at least 140, and today they were 11. ELEVEN! I wish I felt up to eating steaks because I just would just eat a filet at every meal.
I do get pretty much dailly transfusions or bags of blood. I would much rather eat steak.
Sis #1 and Sis #2 have been visiting mucho. It's just nice to have someone come in your room and tidy up a bit when you are weak. Sis #1 made the magical muffins again and Sis #2 helped me out with a major power shower. It's the closest thing to a massage I think I am allowed with such low platelets.
It felt sad to miss Thanksgiving with my parents. I don't think I have missed even one before. Zoe had a great time with the cousins that she practically passed out last night. I haven't spoken to her often, but I am the only one that can update her list on Amazon. I don't think she really needs much as she has so much, but her dad is buying her a bike and a DS game to replace the one she lost. I would just have to ask what games she likes. Personally, I know she likes to shop at Target and Marshalls and Blockbuster, but the girl gets way more than she needs. She's starting to ask more questions than we can really answer. It hurts to know I can't see her little face. I used to always drag my photos of her with each hospital stay.
Me? I need nothing except prayers, which I totally have to make myself hear sometimes. I'm trying but it's hard to feel so scared and vulnerable to God's will.
I can do this. It's trying to kick my ass, but I just can't let it.
Your assignment today is to drink something just really tasty. Right now the greatest thing I have had so far was an icy cold Gatorade. I wonder how an Icee would do on sore mouth? More 7-11's need to make Crystal Light Icees. Then perhaps a hot tub of soda wouldn't give you the tub with it.
Love you. Thank you so much for the comments. I"m still too out of breath to talk much on the phone, but trust me, I hear the power of the internets loud and clear!
Posted by debutaunt at November 30, 2008 01:01 AMPraying for you Deb. So sorry you're going through this. Thanks for keeping us posted as I do check frequently to see how you're doing. Hang in there. You have a great spirit.
Posted by: Hall at November 30, 2008 03:00 AMKeep on keeping on, brave one.
You are in my thoughts.
S. xo+
Posted by: Skye at November 30, 2008 07:40 AMHang in there, Deb. You have my prayers.
Posted by: Ninotchka at November 30, 2008 08:24 AMAfter Chuck finishes kicking ass, he shall serve you a full Thanksgiving dinner with a side of steak. Amen.
Posted by: mrtl at November 30, 2008 08:52 AMHugs and prayers to you
Posted by: Ern at November 30, 2008 10:36 AMI just prayed for you. It's all I can do, but I can certainly do that.
Posted by: Sandy at November 30, 2008 10:59 AMRest up my Debu_Hero. Let your body begin to mend itself.
{{gentle hugs}}
~Nita
Posted by: Nita at November 30, 2008 11:50 AMI had pie and I thought of you: Right after you posted about this new suck-butt adventure you've been hijacked into, Hubby & I went to the store. We walked past the freezer with ...yummmy... Dutch apple pies screaming out at me, "TAKE ME HOME!! Think of Debby and pray while you partake!!" So I did and I did pray, too, and have kept you in my prayers since then.
I've also thoroughly enjoyed getting up to speed on Chuck Norris.
My favorite CN movie is "The Octagon". It's about him fighting against a bunch of kickass ninjas - just like your body is doing with the help of Chemobama and Chuck Norris' mojo. One reason I hold this movie as a favorite is because of a scene in which a cup of coffee is spilled off of a desk or table and the character (I can't remember if it's CN or not) catches it long before it hits the floor, catching the coffee in flight, gently returning the full cup to its upright spot on the table. It looked awesome and cool - and perhaps even doable for the average person lacking martial arts skills. Lo and behold, it IS doable! I am 'gravity gifted' and this maneuver of catching falling objects makes me look like I am the picture of speed, grace and remarkable recovery. [Hmmm.... sounds like YOU, too: Deb's Chuck Norris NINJA moves defy cancer!!]
A quick visit to CN's official website led me to Current Events where he visited the military folks in Iraq. His visit was better attended and held in higher esteem than the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders visit!
~ I'll be praying for higher platelet counts and loads of success for you with Chemobama & Chuck Norris, you have a helluva team!
Hugs from NM,
Bren
Chucknorris.com tidbits (may have some repeats of earlier 'facts'):
The fastest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.
There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad Chuck Norris has never cried. Ever.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn’t get wet — water gets Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep, he waits.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books; he stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Chuck Norris doesn't cut his grass; he dares it to grow.
There is no such thing as extinction--only a list of animals Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
When Chuck Norris is doing push-ups, he isn't lifting himself up; he's pushing the earth down.
An episode of Walker: Texas Ranger aired in France. They surrendered just be on the safe side.
Chuck Norris is so fast he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make him drink.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch; he decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity--twice.
"Why did the Marines make Chuck Norris an Honorary member? They were afraid not
to!" (CN was made an Honorary Marine following his first visit to Iraq.)
[Finally, I thought this was a terrific idea - even the earlier part about cubicle patrol here in the States.]
Hello,
My cousin in a Marine that is currently serving in Iraq. Mr Norris visited the base where my cousin is stationed and she shared some photos with me and shared stories of how much it meant to the marines. She even went so far to say that Mr Norris had the biggest turnout and moral boost over any other celebrity that has visited them. After a few e-mail conversations, we decided to do a fun, morale boosting project.
Here is what we did:
I have a "Chuck Norris Action Figure" on my desk at work. "Chuck" was the floor enforcer. If someone stepped out of line, they would find their cubicle in disarray and the Chuck action figure posed on their desk. We decided to deploy Chuck to Iraq so that he can help out our troops.
Earlier this month, I shipped my Chuck Norris action figure to my cousin in Iraq and started his "Tour of Duty". He arrived a few days ago and is already out on a mission with someone from public relations. My cousin is taking picutres of "Chuck" with the soldiers and e-mailing them to me as often as she can.
I built a website for the project and will post any pictures and stories about Chuck's tour of duty in Iraq. When the war is over, Chuck will hopefully return home to his post on my desk.
The website is www.sendchucktoiraq.com
This website documents the whole project and also has a place where fans can send "Chuck" best wishes during his tour in Iraq.
I forgot in my long post that I recommend tea for the dreaded mouth ulcers!! I know, I sound like a broken record...but IT WORKS! At least it did for Cody and also for another cancer patient, Judy, who was hospitalized for nutrition support when her sores were out of control.
The thing that seemed to help Cody the most was tea. Yep, regular ol' Lipton tea - iced or warm - with or without sugar/sweetener. The tannic acid in tea seems to knock out the chemo's action against the mouth's mucous membranes & other GI locations, too because these are a fast growing cell just like cancer cells which is why the chemo targets this type of tissue. (Of course, you already know this, Deb.)
Also, there is a prescription product called Gelclair that can help if her doctor knows to request that the pharmacy should order it asap : http://www.gelclair.com/. Cody didn't use this because the tea seemed to work well enough for him but his oncologist said he'd order it for us if we needed it.
Maybe see if the dining hall can send you up some tea and try it out. It probably couldn't hurt and it might help. At least I hope something can help make you more comfortable!
Bren
An hour does not go by that I don't think of you, Zoe, your family, oh and PIE--You will have that pie. A Cuck Norris Pie.
The prayers-they never stop, and will never stop.
Posted by: claire at November 30, 2008 08:15 PMThinking of you so often. Each time I lift up another prayer. Hang tough and know you've got so many folks praying for you.
Legs
Posted by: Denise at November 30, 2008 09:05 PMMore prayers being sent.
I had a vanilla milkshake tonight at alamo drafthouse. Does that count as something good?
Hugs to you Deb! Gentle ones anyway. :) I'll send some extra fierce platelet-brewing mojo your way.
Can you have pumpkin ice cream? It's not quite pie but it's still delicious.
My tasty beverage today was a Leinenkugel's Nut Brown Ale. And Fresca. But not mixed because that would be crazy.
Posted by: Rebecca at November 30, 2008 09:58 PMLove ya dude... I miss you too.
Posted by: sis #2 at November 30, 2008 10:08 PMSo glad to see an update from you. I thought of you all weekend. Prayers continue, and now I shall think of you when I eat the last piece of pumpkin pie.
Posted by: Sharkey at December 1, 2008 08:44 AMThinking about you today. I always crave peach tea snapple when I need something cold and quenching.
Posted by: Amy (AABB) at December 2, 2008 07:43 PMIoAllocateMdl Allocates an MDL for a buffer, given the starting virtual address of the buffer and its length. ,
Posted by: Arnold41 at October 22, 2009 08:51 PM