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So. Tell me How You did?

Map Test Click Here

Ok. I'm addicted. Leave a comment and tell me how YOU did. I would be better with a mouse. I got most of them thanks to reading EPA documents about compressor stations in TN, LA, KY, AL, TX....

Field Day

Zoe has field day today. Which means they got a free dress day - no uniform. She looked totally cute, so I took her picture. I'm sad it's kind of blurry, but I took it with my camera phone.

So the other day I sent in money for the pizza they are going to have today. We rarely eat pizza, as Momo G cooks all the time, but I had no idea how many slices to get her. She said "five," but I paid for three. Although I hope she doesn't get too tired out. We have a 6pm soccer game today.

And this morning we had to enclose money for the concession stand - like popcorn, gatorade and stuff. I put $3.00 in her backpack and told her "The parent volunteers will be helping you buy the concession stand food."

She said all huffy-like, "Mom, I know how to BUY!!!"

That's mommy's girl.

I can do this. I'm on antibiotics (and they seem to be working - whee)

Your assignment today is to eat some yogurt. I just had some organic Stonyfield vanilla and it was de-lish. If you aren't a yogurt eater, eat some greens. That's always a good thing.

Yeowie

Zoe scored 2 goals today. She also had her first brownie meeting. "It was so much fun, mom." Busy day. I'm ready for bed.

Me. Well I have a nasty (and painful) ear infection. I have had it for about a week. Doc B gave me a z-pack but it didn't make a dent in the pain. Last night I was up until 3am. So they said to take some darvon and call then in the morning.

Just to be on the safe side though, my doc prescribed 3 days of dual IV antibiotics. Then more in pill form after. I was really afraid last night. All the people I know who have died get some infection and die like ... well fast.

Thank you all so much for the donations. I am now at $2,000. I'm totally amazed. I am going to email Amanda. We are some tough chicas and we WILL raise a million.

Anyway. We are stinky and need a bath. Zoe is so good at soccer it's scary. And Dallas K, it doesn't matter if your kiddo doesn't make goals, he's so cute it should be illegal.

I can do this. I'm sweaty like that.

Your assignment for today is make some time to read a book. Even if it's just some chick lit, go to half price or re-read one of your favorites. We bought some birthday books for a party Sunday and bought "Say Goodnight to Illiteracy." Great bedtime stories and the money goes for reading programs.

I love you internets. Especially you.

P.S. Belated Happy New Year to my lovely Jewish friends :)

Angel Wings

Quick entry. Cleaning out my email, I found the lovliest email from March from a mom of the sweetest boy. I realized I had not replied to her (which I really hate to do). I went to look at her son's site to see how he was doing. What I read made me sob. Her son, Kadin, relapsed and died post-transplant.

Talofa Friends! My name is Kadin and I am 5 years old. This is the story of my life and my battle with leukemia. I was diagnosed when I was 5 months old and relapsed in September 2005 after more than 3 years in remission. I earned my Angel Wings on May 2, 2006 after experiencing severe complications from my stem cell transplant...

I hate cancer. Please help me raise a million. I am going to do it even if I make myself live to be 100 years old.

I can do this. I am doing this. My hatred of cancer will make me live to fight this.

Behind the Blog

Have been pretty busy, so I haven't been blogging lately.

Thanks for all the good wishes on the remission. I went to mass with Zoe Friday (their whole school goes), and afterwards said a rosary. I was thinking about Paula, Monkey Boy, another friend of mine whose wife had died five years earlier from kidney cancer, and just how grateful I am to be alive. How unbelievably grateful for just one more clean biopsy. And to hope for one more and one more. It just made me cry. I was so happy, but the tears just seemed to come from nowhere. How much my life has changed in one year. I can't believe it's almost a year now. I am so lucky. So very blessed.

I got an update today on Paula. That girl is still fighting. I'm so happy. I want her to get through this so bad.

Paula is still in ICU fighting. We had a MRI this week, which said most of the swelling is getting better. The swelling in her brain stem was definitely improved. That is two CTs and now an MRI all saying Paula is slowly beating this. Bedside we haven't seen the improvement yet. She is fairly unresponsive, hasn't moved much. She is fairly hard to wake up, and then only stays awake for a few minutes. Monday they pulled the tube in her throat and installed a more permanent Trach just below her Adams apple. This is a lot safer over the long haul. The tube in her throat gets to be an infection worry after two weeks and hers was in for 3. The doctors are still very optimistic. They say it will still be weeks of acute care and then months of rehab. Thanks for the prayers. Randy

I'm doing pretty well on the fundraising. I'm not shy. I'm asking everyone. I really want to meet my goal, so I'm extending a $5 - $10 challenge to everyone. If you can't, then spread the word and challenge your friends. I just heard from a Houston friend that a co-worker was hit with leukemia. It's like a bad car wreck. And it doesn't just involve you. Your whole family. Your network of friends. I'm so involved in this world, but I'm going to do my damndest to spread the word and help find a cure.

Zoe is now officially a Brownie. My Tuesdays are history. She has Brownies and then soccer practice right after. But the troop leader is really cool. And all her friends go. We are really excited about it.

I never posted, but Zoe scored SIX goals last practice. And hustled and ran faster than anyone else. She is so cute and amazing. I love spending so much time with her even when she wears me out.

Well, I have a lot to do. Still unpacking. I'll try to write more later. Please continue to pray/ send good vibes to Paula. She's at MD Anderson still. Be strong.

I can do this. The Fall is here.

Your assignment today is to send an email to at least one person (or blog it if you can - Thanks Sassyfemme) about the Light the Night walk. I do want to raise a million in my lifetime, even if it takes $10 at a time. In addition, your assignment is to make a list of things you want to accomplish by the end of the year. They don't have to be monumentous, but simple enjoyable things that you know you can do.

I love you internets!

Shhhhhh

This girl has a little secret:

I am still in remission.

Heck yeah!.

(thank you Natalie Dee)

When I Went to Houston, I packed my suitcase with....

Ever picked up a six year old after school who has been practically sitting still all day, throw her in a car, and then immediately drive four hours?

My recommendation: Don't do it. Resist the temptation.

Ever spend a weekend packing and packing (ok, mom aka the White Tornado, did most of the packing) only to realize that a) you need a bigger storage unit and b) all that c*r*a*p* will not fit in your car?

But Sis #2 came to the rescue. She bought a rooftop bag to hold all of my work/winter clothes. Her husband strapped that thing tighter than (ok, I can't think of a clean analogy here), and it didn't move the whole six hours home.

Yes, folks, it took six hours to drive home (normally takes about 4) as it was pouring rain the entire way. It was like driving in a washing machine, with lightning and everything. We got home close to midnight. Even though the bag is waterproof, there is no way that thing could have stayed dry in the storm. So mom and dad and I spent some time unloading some wet clothes. Thank goodness my dry cleaning was in plastic.

Now I just have to unpack. It's a tight fit.

I'm kind of sad. It feels like my Houston life is over. It was sad to sleep the last night in my king size bed. My oasis after many rounds of hospital stays. But I'm starting to really like living in San Antonio. I like the people here even though I still don't go out much. My mom cracks me up, and dad is so funny with Zoe.

I haven't gotten my biopsy results back, so keep sending good vibes and prayers. It was more sore than when they did them at MD Anderson. Like all the way to the front of my hip. So I'm hoping they got what they needed. My blood type has now changed. I used to be O Positive, and now I'm A Negative. How cool is that? From what I understand, I think that's a good thing.

Other than that, we are getting ready for soccer practice soon, so I'm going to boogie. No new news on Paula yet. I'll try to get more news this week.

I can do this. I wear sunscreen year round.

Your assignment today is to enjoy the cool of the mornings. I can't wait for cool weather all day.

Thanks again for the donations. I'm about half way there! Woo!

Here is how we kept from losing our minds on the trip. You say, "When I went to Houston, I packed my suitcase with"..... and every person takes a turn of the alphabet, repeating what the first person said. It kept Zoe busy and is a good memory game.

an apple
a buttlicker
a cowlicker
a dog
an elephant
a frogjumper
a goat
a hamster
an ice cream cone
Jackson
a kayak
a lava rock
a monkey
a nail
an opossum
a possum
a queen
a Rachel
a Sicily
Tommy
an umbrella
a valentine
a watermelon
an xray
a yucca plant
and Zoe

Be Well

I'll be out of the internets for a few days, but I'm ok.

Just taking a little road trip with mom and Zoe.

I love you all.

Your assignment is to be well. Do good things for yourself this weekend. And dad, eat something besides pot pies. I love you the most Paw Paw.

Safe Journey

Posted on 9-12-06

My son developed a yeast infection yesterday which has gotten into his blood. By last night, they moved him to ICU on a ventilator.

The Dr told us that he might not make it through the night, he was critically sick and possbly going into kidney failure. He did better over night, BP stabilized and kidneys better but he's not out of the woods. He's on a ventilator and the next 24 hours will be crucial.

Please, please pray for him. He cannot have gone through all this to be taken by an infection. He's a fighter but I'm so scared.

Thanks, Mary Ann (aka David's Mom)

Posted on 9-13-06

My precious beautiful only son died last night from an infection which his body could not battle. He fought so hard but his heart could not handle it.

Thank you for the prayers. This is so wrong, he wanted so much to live and was just a bright, sweet shining star gone way too soon.

I don't know where we go from here but I hope that the strength he showed will get us through.

Mary Ann

Between David's mom and Ann Richard's dying, I just feel like my heart hurts. I hate cancer.

Please consider making a donation - even if it's $5 or $10. I really would like to raise a million dollars in my lifetime. And I'm not ready for my lifetime to be over anytime soon.

I can do this. Even if I have the nasty biopsy today.

Safe journey, Ann and David.

I really miss you today. I know you know this.

Zoom Zoom Little Soccer Girl

Zoe scored two goals in practice yesterday. She is such a stud. She is still the fastest one there. And I like it that she hustles - say when the coach says line up or go sit down, she's always running to be the first one there.

Tonight we sign up for girl scouts. She's so excited because her best little friends are joining too.

I get my biopsy/aspiration finally tomorrow. They've rescheduled three times. It makes me incredibly nervous. I just want clean results. I don't ever want any more treatment. Ever.

I got an email from Paula's husband. It sounds like things may be slowly turning around. But please keep up the prayers and well wishes. I know when I was in the hospital, it was like I could feel the prayers.

Paula is doing marginally better – which is great news. Encephalitis is a very progressive disease. If it's not growing, it's losing. The last two CTs have shown the swelling gradually decreasing, a little. Basically, Paula is slowly turning this thing around. If the anti-viral medicine wasn't working the swelling would be increasing. All of her doctors, the ICU doc, the primary Oncol team, the Neuro team and the Infectious Disease team all feel like it is finally moving the right direction. They definitely are very positive with the results of the last few days. Her main neuro doc said he felt Paula was going to be a great success story. They do expect her ICU stay to be a few more weeks, the acute phase of this won't be over until the swelling is pretty much gone, and then he rehab will start. The scans do not show any definite damage, bleeding and abscesses and such. The long term prognosis still remains wide open. The expectation is for a recovery from the disease and then a several months long rehab. Your continued prayers and cheers are greatly appreciated. Randy

Go Paula Go!

I can do this. I have the internets on my side.

Your assignment today is to enjoy the weather. It's been really gorgeous here lately, and not as hot. We did get some lovely rain, but are still under water restrictions. I wish we weren't because I feel like running in the sprinklers with Zoe. Give someone a big kiss today. Kissing is my favorite hobby. Next to Zoe soccer watching.

Mia Hamm in the Making

Zoe is an athlete. She looked the part. Acted the part. Was the tallest and the fastest. Was a great sport. And asked me if she was Team Captain. The league she is in doesn't keep score, and her team only had 4 players to the opposing team's 3. But she was great. I was really surprised. I had told her that the main thing was to try her best and to have fun. To which she did both. Then after nearly sweating to death, Little Miss Soccer went swimming. I was the proudest mom on the field.

Team DC United

A Born Puncher

She was #1 in the Game; She Picked the Number

A Born Kicker Too. Mom Remembers That From the Womb.

Faster than the Boys

Duking it out with the Boys

Hot as all Get Out!!

Thanks so much for all that donated. Keep 'em coming. Zoe is drawing thank you notes galore!!

I can do this. I'm feeling pretty great actually.

Today your assignment is to pray, send well wishes, good karma, good vibes, whatever to a hospital room at MD Anderson. My friend, Paula, had her transplant - it went well, but then she contracted encephilitis. It's in her brain stem and is really serious. She is on a breathing apparatus and her body is basically not functioning. She's been there nearly two weeks and isn't doing well. I had been thinking about her for a while and found her card. I talked to her husband and he said today was the first day that the catscan showed a little reduction in the swelling. He's not sure what type of brain activity Paula has. None of what he said sounded good. She isn't responding much to the drugs they gave me.

Anyway, Paula and I went through all our chemos together. We used to talk for hours. She is so pretty, and always wore makeup and this hat with a little fringe of hair. The last time I saw her was right before her transplant. She had no hat on and her hair was all pixie like. She looked amazing and so healthy. I gave her a big hug. I hope that isn't the last one I give her.

God, please spare Paula. I don't want to see another great woman die.

Zoe's Walkin

Zoe is going to be on my walk team. So "she" set up her own site.

Her goal - $10. I bet little boogaloo can beat it.

Here is her site.

Guess who got into the red lipstick?

I want to keep her at her school forever. There's no makeup or nail polish all the way through 8th grade.

All Soccered Up

I signed Zoe up for soccer. They have 8 games and practice on Tuesdays. She's never played soccer before, but she's totally psyched. Her team's name is DC United.

So today after school we went shopping for her gear. If anyone needs to burn off some energy, it sure is my child. She was doing cartwheels in the aisles over and over and over. (I think she was inspired by the pep rally they had at school for the football team.)

All I know is that my child is skinnnnny. Little skinny booty and no body fat. All the soccer shorts were ginourmous. Even with the drawstring. Her cleats are so cute. They are black with pink highlights. We got the shinguards, long socks, funky soccer shorts, and some assorted pink stuff to practice in. Even her soccer ball is pink.

So we are walking around the store. And she sees the punching bags, and this fake man punching dude. She starts beating the crap out of it. Bam. Bam. Bam. I used to do kickboxing videos, and that child can hit.

So I ask her... "Hey, who taught you to punch like that?" (thinking maybe her dad's brother - who used to be a welterweight champ. He's got a few belts.)

Zoe just looked and me and replied, "I'm just a born puncher."

We had a fun time shopping. I hope to bring a real camera for her first game. She missed practice last Tuesday because she stayed home from school, so Sunday's game will be her first time on a field. Also the first time she's been involved in team sports. But I saw her kicking a ball around in the store and she seems pretty coordinated. I hope she is good. Regardless, I probably will cheer the loudest!

Woah. I'm a soccer mom now. How sexy is that?

Life Without You

Tonight, my heart is just hurting.

I ran across a picture of you and your dog. You are so beautiful.

And I wanted so badly to delete it from my computer. I just couldn't do it.

It feels like you are dead. It probably would have been easier if you were.

It feels like it used to in the hospital when I would be missing my Zoe, my heart. I physically ached. I hurt. I cried.

I hate being such a girl.

How can one person be so conflicted? How can I be so joyful and yet so sad?

I am so grateful. I really am. I'm so happy and damned lucky/blessed/whatever to be alive. I'm so happy to have my Zoe. I'm so happy to be around my parents and at our church. I'm so happy that I'm making friends. I still miss Houston, but am making San Antonio home.

My psych lady at the hospital (hey, it's a requirement, not by request) says I don't need meds. She says I'm like a perfectly normal person who has gone through something so incredibly rare. Traumatic, but rare. And then to add on top of it, the additional stressors of losing someone you love, friends dying, moving, etc. etc. etc. She thinks I will be just fine. I do too.

And in general, I'm a damn happy person. I laugh every day. A lot. I correspond with friends. I am getting stronger. And Zoe gives me hugs infinity. I even read two poems tonight at open mic night (thank God there were only like five people there, otherwise I probably wouldn't have done it because I nearly horked as it was).

I just am not there yet. Like there is something I am supposed to be doing, but I can't seem to figure it out. Soon. I think I just need to go on a real date, with a manly man, and have him kiss me. Like the kind of kiss that makes you forget everything. I think I need like a human margarita man, with extra tequila.

Anyway, I've been goofing around the internet and now *poof* it's like 2:40 am.

So for your poetentertainment, here is one of the poems I read tonight.

Breakfast

I remember that laugh well
And that smile you don't know
you do
Like a little kid
amused with himself
huge and spontaneous
and bright
It makes your eyes sparkle
and you look at me
and you look at me
with that amazing smile
It's always the first
thing I think about
when I think about you

October October October

Last year, this past October, was the beginning of it all. The beginning of my different way of life.

Ok, this entry is going to make me weepy, so be warned.

I just re-read the entry I posted after we went camping last year. I was so sick and knew something was wrong, but I didn't really realize just how sick.

I guess that is typical for single mothers. We just push ourselves because there is no one to take care of you when you are not feeling well. You just seem to muster through. You go to work, work hard, take care of your children, and then it's back on to the next day. It feels like running on a hamster wheel sometimes. I know at least it did for me.

I don't know what my future holds yet, but I most certainly cannot go back to that. I love spending so much time with Zoe here in San Antonio. Being there for her. She seems so much happier now (although she's fighting a cold - skeery for me).

Here is one of my first posts after I was diagnosed. I was totally scared shitless then. I really was. I can tell I was trying really hard to be brave. But the love and support and prayers of so many people helped me to realize that I could do this. I had to. For Zoe, that's for sure. For my family and loved ones. And for me. I wasn't done yet. I still had and have so much more to do with my life.

So, in honor of this nearly year long journey, I have decided to honor the many loved ones I have met who bravely lost their battles with leukemia. I am going to do the Light the Night Walk for Blood Cancers. I've started my own team (it's a short walk at a slow pace; just my style & little kids do it too).

It will be Saturday, October 21st. As Sis #2 pointed out, that is one year to the day that I was diagnosed. Afterwards, I really want to have a party to celebrate life. The life I have been given, and to honor those lives of my friends: Clem B, Sweet Ashley, Eric Shaffer, and Sarah, my ever-loving guardian angel.

So, if you are in Texas (or not) and you'd like to join my team (and the party), please send me an email. I haven't gotten my Team Information yet, but I've set up my donation page already. You all have been so generous already for many of my friends and family who are raising funds, so it's ok if you aren't able to give. I'd appreciate it if you could spread the word though or just come on down. There's not enough room at casa_debu, but I'm sure I could find ye all some hotel action. I might even rent a margarita machine.

I would love to raise a million dollars in my lifetime. (hey, one of you has a million dollar debt to me. I'm going to collect soon. The interest rate is going to kick your butt)

Knowing me, and with the help o' the internets, I bet I could do it.

Click Here for my Team Page

Nearly a year. I'm so lucky to have you all.

An oldie but a goodie..... Because I can't stay weepy for long.

THE HORROR THAT WAS THE GRANNY CAN:

The Deb I Know

I guess my crush didn't quite read enough.

For some reason he thought I was "bedridden."

I'm very glad he is wrong. Hopefully he will be glad too.

Chelle Chelle is Living Strong

Sis #3 is another strong chick who has chosen to raise some bucks for cancer research. Any amount is appreciated. She wrote: "Please post this link on your blog. I got somewhat discouraged after not receiving many donations from my so-called MySpace friends. Bums"

Hep a sista out. Chelle is the coolest. She took so much time off from work (and away from her cute boyfriend) to come take care of me when I really needed some help. She was also with me, and helped me brave through the shaving of the debu_head. I'd love to help her meet her goals.

Here is the info:

Deb-- Hope all is well in San Antonio. Here are the links to my donation page for the Livestrong Challenge. I am running the 10k in October and am trying to raise as much money as I can. This is the link to the actual donation page. It just requires donors to enter my first and last name (Michelle Greer):

Click here:
or

http://livestrongride.org/faf/search/searchParticipants.asp?ievent=153534

Chelle is a badass with the biggest heart. Please give whatever you are able to. If not, please spread the word.

*smooches* and much love you lil' sis.

What a difference a good night's sleep makes

Well a good night's sleep and a few regular doses of steroids. I'm feeling much better. I can eat, but not that much, which is perfectly fine with me.

Today was Mommy/Zoe adventure Saturday.

We joined my father and some friends from church for breakfast. Ok, why is it that my two biggest crushes are on these amazing looking Hispanic men? These amazing looking Hispanic men WHO ARE PRIESTS! Oh my goodness. This one is even better looking than our own parish priest. Oh man. I surely need to go to confession.

The other crush I have is on this fantastic 50 year old man. He's hysterical. He is sweet. And seems like a truly honorable man. Bad thing is that he read my blog and said that we weren't really compatible.

Here is what he wrote:

You have a whole world full of issues and things going on that I don't want to step into. I have read your blog extensively...and I do love to read your writing, by the way. And through that I came to know that we just wouldn't be a fit.

Can you blame him? I mean, look at what I've gone through in less than nine months:

Getting leukemia, getting major chemo, elevenmilliondy tests, falling totally in love with a man who lied to me, forgiving that man only to have him months later dump me to go back to his wife, having radiation and more horrific chemo, having a transplant where they nearly killed me, being sick as a dog, being away from my daughter for nearly nine months, contracting encephilitis, weird no appetite, moving three times, getting divorced, and nearly dying several times. And then moving back in with my parents. Oh, and still looking like a boy. Or a lesbian.

This is why I need to write my book.

This is why I'm apparently not-datable at this time. I don't blame him for not wanting to get involved. I wouldn't blame anyone. I think I would hesitate after hearing about all of this. Or, in his case, actually reading about all of this. Which, to me, is worse.

I mean, how many of you would start a new relationship with someone in my situation - (although you all know and love me, so I'm totally datable to you). And when I'm in person, well, I'm still invisible. So not a damn person is looking at me, much less wanting to ask me out.

[aside]
I went to a writing workshop Thursday. We were supposed to bring one writing sample and 15 copies. I brought this entry. Please read it if you have not. I still feel like that broken teacup. But I still feel that there is someone out there who will find me unique. Special. And worthy of his love. Or at least right now, worthy to have fun with and who will appreciate my re-glued self. (and yes, from your comments, I know Jesus loves me no matter what, but dating him would be kind of like dating our hot priests. Uh. No. There will be no dating the Son of God. And I think I better stop using the phrase "hot priests," because it's kind of weirding me out)

[aside over. Thank God.}

But it makes me sad as hell. I FEEL datable. I feel flirty. I feel cute, even with the short hair. Right now life has been pretty sweet. I see so much more of Zoe. I'm pretty relaxed. I feel much better. And the worst of this all is behind me. I have time to actually get to know someone. I have the ability to go out and do things. And meet people. And sit and drink a Starbucks, while not being in a hurry. Yet when they find out about my life, they completely change their minds. It is frightening. But it is in my past. Not so distant past, but gosh, I'm looking forward. I'm done with looking back at all of that. I still will take care of myself, be with my Zoe, and work on getting stronger.

And I want to kiss. An adult boy. I'd like it to be my priest, but I don't like the whole "you're going to hell" idea. So either of those two are a no-no-go.

Ok. Nuff of that. I think when things just aren't working, it means that I was supposed to be doing something else.

Zoe and I had a great (albeit hot as hell) time at the Zoo. We rode the train twice and became Zoo members. We totally go nearly every weekend when it's not as hot. I think we will have great fun then.

Here are some pictures of my cutie patootie.

I can do this. We can go to the zoo anytime we want!!

No assignment for today. Enjoy a safe and fun Labor Day!