debutaunt.com

Beef with a little bit of drunk

Here is the entry I hadn't finished.

Upon opening her Santa Groovy Girls dolls, "Mom! Just what you've always wanted me to have!"

Ok. I tried. I tried to be a little anti-Barbie this year, so we asked Santa to bring Groovy Girls.

But her favorite gift has been Barbie's Castle. It's ok. She and her cousins have been playing sweetly with it.

We had a fun Christmas. I did miss Sis#1 and Sis#2 and their families, but they will be coming up soon enough. SIL #1 and her Sister came. They are adorable. SIL #1 and I have know eachother for years. She's really a pretty amazing person. I miss hanging out with her.

Anyway, we had a great day. Zoe really had such a good time. I'll write more later, but I have to go to the doc today for a checkup. Here are some pictures SIL #1 took. They are of my brothers and when I see them, it just makes me laugh. I love those dudes so damn much. (Captions by SIL #1)

Doesn't Anyone Know How to Act Around a Camera? No!

The Fez is a Chick Magnet (SIL #1 and her lil' sis)

The Three Brothers Greer, who would last approximately 0.072 seconds in the hood.

Come on, guys, be serious, said the photographer.

making their mom proud. Or something.

I'm so lucky.

The Pro

Lexipro that is.

I called my doc first thing this morning. They are going to prescribe Lexipro and then taper off slllllooooowly.

Talked to the psych lady too and she said, yes... some of the side effects can be bad.

I just know that I don't need anti-depressants. And I don't want to take them. But since I was a dumbass and stopped all cold turkey, antidepressants it is.

Thanks for the encourging words about Elvis, but a man can only take so much. And since the #1 complaint about women than men have is too much drama... well I used up my quota last night. I don't think anyone could hang. Or would want to hang. I am just beyond sad to think about it, but those thoughts have to go. Sis #1 and her family are here. I want to see them so bad and don't want to feel all stupid. But I also want to just go hug Elvis and wrap him up in my love for him. I don't think I will ever be able to face his parents again though.

Thank you internets. I will do this.

Scrambled Eggs

I've been writing the Christmas post for a few days now. It's stuck in my head. Along with way too much other stuff.

I cold-turkey'd my antidepressants (Cymbalta), the ones I was taking for the numbness in my feet. The side effects listed are:

Be alert for signs of agitation, irritability, anxiety, panic attacks, difficulty sleeping, hostility, impulsivity, severe restlessness, mania, worsening of depression or suicidal thoughts when taking CYMBALTA. Notify your doctor immediately. Do not stop drug abruptly.

UM, WHO THE F#$% THINKS THESE SIDE EFFECTS ARE OK? I have been having lots of the above. Lots. Sleeplessness, mania, agitation, irr.... hell. all of them. The are not ok with me. If I had known these were the side effects, I would have walked on numb feet with a damn smile on my face. I would have never taken them. And there wasn't any insert that came with it that mentioned those. I got that warning list from this site I paid for to check the meds I take and the potential dangerous interactions.

But now, now I really am depressed. I'm losing it. I feel like I did when I had encephilitis. I think I have scared everyone. Even myself.

And I'm pretty sure that Elvis won't be hanging in there. He says he is, but I wouldn't blame him for cursing my name and burning my photo. I was the most jacked up, rude, freaky, manic, horrible person to him tonight. Even his dad saw it. So not only am I suicidal, but my boyfriend hates me and his parents do too. Elvis even called my parents. So now everyone is freaked out. I hate my life. Can I sleep all day tomorrow and never talk about this again?

thanks Cymbalta. You fucking evil drug. I hate drugs. I am tired of being sick. I am so tired. I am so tired of meds. They just are evil. But a necessary evil. Regardless. I wish they made me feel way way better. Instead, I feel like there is a crazy woman running around pretending to me be. Like I lash out at anything in my way. It's horrible. And I wish I knew what to do (besides giving the dr. a call tomorrow) to stop feeling this way. I don't like feeling like I'm not in control of my emotional stability.

But God sends me signs. Because He likes me. The first was when I got home, there was our neighborhood skunk in the driveway where I usually park my car. Elvis drove me home, and my car is still parked at his place. I barely could see Mr. Skunk., but there he was.. walking around the grass.

The next was when Elvis hugged me goodbye. I won't tell you what the sign was, but it made me sad and I know God was trying to tell me something. Elvis... I really love that man. I doubt he thinks that now, but it's true.

Finally, Deanna Banana was online when I got home. It was after 3am. Who is up at this time of night? Good ol' DB. And there she was... with an encouraging word. Many of them. "This too shall pass."

I can do this. Even if I still want to swallow a bottle of Darvon. Because we have skunk in our midst.

I'm sorry for the crappy entry. The Christmas one is better because it came with photos. Besides I cried myself blind. Seriously. I can hardly see. I have my face like 3 inches from my screen and I'm squinting. I will look like a prizefighter tomorrow. This sucks bad.

You assignment today is to forgive me. Life for real.

You will never know the extent of my love for you.

Merry Mary

Ok. I cried. I wrote this big long entry and went to answer the phone, came back, and it was gone. Guess it wasn't meant to be. I was just reading what was happening this time last year. And thinking about all my friends. Most of them were still alive then. Nikki, Paula, Ashley, Clem, Kadin, Eric and all the others on my forum who have died since then.

And I could really let myself cry over it or I can look at it as... wow... look how far I have come. Holy Smokes! I'm working out. Living with the Zoester. Contemplating a book. Seeing a wonderful man. And making a life here.

I can't wait until Zoe opens her presents. She is crazy, but gosh, how I love that little Squeezer. Ok. Now if I think about that, I'm going to cry. She is going to have an over-abundance of gifts. But after Christmas, we've decided to clean house and donate things to kids who have nothing.

I can't be sad today. But I saw Nikki's first email to me.

So instead, I'm going to post some pictures I found on an old CD my dad had. Cuteness. She was about three here.

I don't mean to be a downer. But today I am grateful to be here. It's hard when you find email from someone who is dead. Or to see a picture of a person who is smiling, but no longer with us. I can't seem to delete Paula and Ashley's phone number off of my cell. And when I read Amanda writing about Eric, it just makes me want to fly all the way there just so I could hug her. I want to not forget them, but I also want to keep going.

I can do this. I will honor all of my friends by going on.

Your assignment today is to listen to some Christmas music. I listened to Charlie Brown Christmas CD. It's one of my favorites.

Merry Christmas. With sprinkles and sugar. And a walk after dinner.

From my Beloved Nikki:

(can you tell I'm missing the "Sisters?" I better get an invite to the next reunion!)

Deb, I do not make a practice of writing anyone I meet via a blog. You however fall under a different classification for many reasons.

I wrote your sister and she was very gracious and replied. I do
have one more question and this is a yes no answer. Do you own an
mp3 player?

That is all.

Feel free at any time to write me if you think it would help.
I would move the heaven the earth the stars if I thought it
would/could/help you.

All of us think that Sarah is your angel that is going to
help you out here. While she was Jewish she went to Catholic
school for 12 years. Her middle name is Lael which in Hebrew
means GOD. I think that should help you out. God doesn't care
why we found you-we just did, and I think it's all good.

I want you to know that you can write me anytime you want.
As Sarah would say if you get the "willies" just write me. We
were together for fourteen years and I know a few things about
what you are going through both personally and professionally.

If you go to our blog I have my picture up :) you can see that
I don't look like I would bite you. I am just a woman who cares
because I know you can beat this and we are going to help you.

I miss you. I hope that you and Sarah are having some wicked fun.

I think I need a vacation. No computer, no telephone or tv. Just some peace and quiet. Maybe even go somewhere by myself and chill.

Ok. I bet one of Zoe's sugar cookies might make me snap out of this.

Spike

Besides the chipmonk cheeks, I wanted to try to take a picture of my spikey hair. It's kind of cool to have spikey hair. Makes you feel a little badass.

I'm sore as a mofo today. I met with PTM yesterday. I didn't feel 47 yesterday as I was tested; I felt more like 147. We did some really simple stuff, but it kicked my butt. Some arm stuff, some leg stuff and a little cardio.

But it felt awesome. I felt so good. I got out to my car and cried because this was the first real workout (with sweat) since before I was diagnosed. Even though I'm all wimpy, I felt like a stud. I felt silly because I just was like proud that I did it.

Ok. Lots to do today. Just wanted to check in.

I can do this. I'm going back to the gym today to kick one out!

Your assignment today is eat healthy today. I have been watching what I eat lately. And I feel really pretty good. So have a salad. Eat your greens. Fruits are your friends. Remember the days when I couldn't eat any of that? I do. So today is going to be eating clean day.

I miss Elvis. He was here for like a split second (a day and a half). He's lovely. I can't wait for him to come back here. It's going to be like six more weeks. Bleh. But you have to do what you have to do.

The PTM

Picture this:

I went to my gym today to meet with my trainer. He's way cool. I haven't thought of a suitable pseudonym, so until further notice he will be called The PTM (The Personal Trainer Man). Most of this session was checking my true body age, aka your fitness level, and talking about my goals.

The news, of course, is all discouraging. But I'm trying really hard not to be discouraged. I don't know why (although I suspect) I am feeling so upset.

Apparently I am not a 39 year old woman. But I am a 47 year old woman. My cardio is not only in the low zone, but it's nearly in the NO Zone. Nothing wrong with being 47 if you are actually 47.

Add on a few totally inflexible hamstrings, and *bonus* fairly decent strenght, and you got Deboldutaunt.

BTW, I am high as a kite right now. My pupils are sooo dialated I look like Nicole Ritchie at ... what else? An eye exam. I took some benadryl and some ativan because I still have snotty cold and it's kind of making me nauseated, ergo the ativan. I feel like walking around saying, "Duuuuuuuuuude."

So Zoe has a playdate with some friends from school. I nearly typed old, but they were only six. And we don't realy know anyone here still, so I don't have any old (meaning long-time) friends.

Why do people get high on purpose? This sucks.

So after the treadmill and other tests, The PTM has out the little pinchers thing to check how FAT YOU ARE! Damn those people many years ago with their stupid "pinch the inch." Some of us don't mind our inches. Wasn't that a cereal commercial. Like the ones they have now that say, eeat 2 bowls of cereal a day. Um. sorry. Jiggawhat? Those bowls only contain like 150 calories. If you replace meals with those, you will still be damn hunry.

I'm too high to type anymore. My apologies.

I can do this. Fight the discouragment.

I'm seeing two of everything. I'm going to try to type sideways.

Tonight the biggest fattest tear dropped onto my computer. Big and fat as rain. I'm such a titty baby. I'm crying without reason. I'm sick of being sick. I guess it's better than being dead.

See how big and gloopy it is. Like a tear puddle.

No reason tthe cry really. I just am tired and sick.

Did you know that if you are laying in bed and it's all uncomfortable nd you keep checking the duvet cover and you still don't find anything, that if you actually looked carefully, you'd realize you are laying on your glasses. I used to always find my phone that way.

I see aqua flamingos in these big giant pink feather boa.

And the cute overplucked eyebrowns looked super sweet on the little shop girl, but on me.. not so girly.

"Mommy. Who waxed your eye?" I'll have the pics when i can hold a camera still.

Made me feel smoooooove. to get them waxed (paintul torture) But when I looked, i realize that I'm not the Forever 21 type of chick. Me no likey.

I'm not coordinated enough yet to.... wait. I forgot what I was going to say.

Say night night.

my right eye is fucked up. It's all megablurry. I can't seem to find signs of storke other than leg numbness and stuff. Do you hallucinate? Amy I dying?

Surely I cannot as this would be my last post. And it's horrile and incoherent.

Aha. I stand corrected

Thank you Kathy S for the info on George HW and Barbara Bush.

I believe that George HW & Barbara have given substantial $ to MD Anderson.

My husband's oldest son died in 1962 at age 10 of a tumor on his brain stem. Although he has given $ for brain tumor research, he could not immerse himself emotionally in fund raising. It was just too painful.

Kathy S. - NJ

PS - I've voted for Steph approx 25 times so far - you need to mention her and the link at the top of your blog.

I guess I just hadn't heard much about them doing fundraising. Even George Foreman has a clinic there. The George E. Foreman Pediatric and Adolescent Inpatient Unit.

Very cool. Now I have a few folks that I might be contacting in my million dollar cure leukemia fundraising drive. But I wonder... the amount of power that the Bushes have... well, they could really help with leukemia and other forms of blood cancers. I mean you can buy a Susan G Koman just about anything for breast cancer (I keep waiting for the Komen pink vibrator - it would sell a gajillion I'm thinkin'), yet the majority of people don't have a clue what leukemia is. They still ask me if I got my stem cell transplant from aborted fetuses.

Those of us (including friends and family) are basically forced to learn more about our form of cancer. But why is it like that? For how many years have most of you known about breast cancer self exams? Or that smoking causes lung cancers? Heck, even Katie Couric had a camera shoved up her colon.

Lots of people have heard of leukemia, but most that I talk to don't really undertand what it is. What any of the symptoms are. What is entailed in a bone marrow/ stem cell transplant. What it means to relapse. And most of all, how long and enduring some of the treatments are. And how expensive it can be before, during and after.

It does take knowing someone's personal story to become involved. I had never even heard of Robin Bush until just a few days ago.

Well, Bushes, I will try to make up the slack. Because I kicked that damn no-good cancer's ass. And I'm still here to tell about it.

I can do this. I have a job here.

Your assignment today is to pay it forward. You all have seen the HPV commercials that tell people to "Tell Someone," well, I'd like you to do the same to someone about Leukemia. Tell them about organizations like the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.

Or perhaps make a healthy resolution, a few weeks in advance, to train with the Team in Training group to do an event for leukemia fundraising and in the process get your buns (and other various body parts) in shape. I'm not quite there yet, but one day I will be. And then I'm going to run your asses down!!

So pay it forward. Spread the word. Train with a friend. You will both be better off for it, and IMO it will count towards my goal of raising my million dollars.

10:00 am. Tomorrow. Appointment with the man. The PTM. Personal. Trainer. Man.

Wish me luck.

Zoe's Elfmorphosis

This. This is the Grooviest!

Seriously. It's work safe too.

Btw, Elvis is in Dallas for some training. Ergo the whole missing thing.

Schmarmy Christmas to You!

These were just too fun to not find some more.

I bet Schrub would kick Tiny Tim's crutches out from under him.

From this site "Bush Family Christmas Card Courtesy of my Friend Knox McConnell."

Got distorted when I blew it up, but this is veeeeeeery interesting.

And this. This I must have blown up somehow. From 2003.

This one is all over the internets, but I thought it was appropriate.

And obviously I have way too much time on my hands if I can find a sweet gem like this (again with the realtime players) Where else can you find Karl Rove reading "Santa's New Reindeer?"

Ok. I can do this. I have the powers of the Googlinator.

I didn't know there was another Bush daughter that had died of leukemia. I sure never hear about it, and the only celebrity fundraisers for leukemia that I've seen have been Cindy Crawford and Denise Rich. I did see a few articles, but you'd think they'd be bigger spokespeople about it. So sad. Robin Bush wasn't even 4 yet.

Weady?

Are you ready for the holidays?

My house smells of Christmas tree. Dad and Zoe picked a fresh one out last night. I love that smell. I forgot to tell you all last week that it got cold enough to sleet. It only did it for about a half hour, and it didn't stick. But Zoe thought it was the coolest. I'm going to try to figure out how to get her somewhere so she can see real snow. Ah. Vacation. I wish I could make that happen.

The sleet day was one of my non-coffee mornings. I felt totally craptastic. I'm worthless all day if I don't get at least one cup. So we went to Sixbucks after school for my iced venti latte. I swear I want to have 92308234 of Starbucks' babies. Here's a picture of her leaning out the window and catching "snow" on her tongue.

God bless her dad. Yesterday he sent this ginourmous box of stuff for Zoe for Christmas. It was stuffed FULL of clothes. Like 13 pairs of jeans and tons of skirts and shirts. There were a few that I think we will *ahem* lose before she gets attached. (e.g. the pink DRAMA QUEEN t-shirt with the silver sequins on it) I'm not one for the Diva, Princess, Party Girl shirts for little girls. He also sent some presents and some really sweet pictures of them from this summer. I'll scan one in when I get the chance. It made me tear up seeing this one picture of her and her dad. I know she misses him so much. And he adores her. His girlfriend actually sent stuff too. That was awfully sweet. I'm hoping this one might be a keeper for him. He deserves a little sunshine in his life.

Ok. I have to jet. It's Zoe and the Playdate time here. They start their holiday break now. Four six year olds are on their way over here. I bought a game of bingo. And we are going to do some Christmas drawings.

I can do this. Zoe is getting us all excited for Christmas.

Your assignment today is to spread some cheer to someone. A few weeks ago, I saw this woman in line behind me at the grocery store. She was in scrubs and looked like she had an infinitely long day. She was buying ramen and white bread and some other really cheap staples. I had my iPod on and then purchased a $20 gift card to add on to my groceries. I got my stuff and then turned and handed it to her and said "Happy Thanksgiving." I didn't stick around long enough to see her reaction, but I hope it put her in shock.

So buy a card if you can. Or a few extra cans of the good food for the food barrels in the store. Don't give them the yucky crap you have in your pantry. Buy something you'd really crave or want to eat. Like a big ol' thing of raviolis. Or some really good Wolfgang Puck soup. Maybe some name brand cranberry or apple juice. You might just make someone's day.

I love you internets. And I miss Elvis fiercely. (edited to add - Elvis is stuck in the Big D on business for a while)

Happy Chaka Khanukkah!!!

Thanks to a friend of mine, G-man, for this story if Hanukkah. G-Julie, Shoshie and the Sisters, and my other lovely Jewish readers... may you all have a Blessed Holiday and a superfantastical New Year.

I want 8 days of presents. I love presents. And I love y'all.

Hanukkah Story.

About 2200 years ago, Greek kings, who reigned from Damascus, ruled over the land of Judea and the Jews living there.

One Greco-Syrian King, Antiochus Epiphanes, forbade the Jewish people from praying to their God, practicing their customs, and studying their Torah. Antiochus forced the Jews to worship the Greek gods. It is said that he placed an idol of the Greek God Zeus on the alter in the Holy Temple of Jerusalem.

In response to this persecution, Judah Maccabee and his four brothers organized a group of resistance fighters known as the Maccabees. They fought against paganism and oppression.

The tenacity of the rebels, which came from their steadfast faith in one God, is one reason this military victory has been so celebrated by Jews in future generations. In one battle near Beit Horon, Judah's small army is intimidated by the size of the enemy army and Judah tells them to have faith that God is on their side:

But when they saw the army coming to meet them, they said unto Judah: 'What? shall we be able, being a small company, to fight against so great and strong a multitude? ...' And Judah said: 'It is an easy thing for many to be shut up in the hands of a few, and there is no difference in the sight of Heaven to save by many or by few; for victory in battle standeth not in the multitude of an host, but strength is from Heaven. They come unto us in fullness of insolence and lawlessness, to destroy us and our wives and our children, for to spoil us; but we fight for our lives and our laws. And He Himself will discomfort them before our face; but as for you, be yet not afraid of them." (The First Book of Maccabees)

Against great odds, after three years of fighting, the Maccabees succeeded to drive the Greco-Syrians out of Judea. Hanukkah proclaims the message of the prophet Zachariah: "Not by might, not by power, but by My spirit."

The Maccabees reclaimed the Holy Temple in Jerusalem. They cleaned the Temple, removing the Greek symbols and statues. When Judah and his followers finished cleaning the temple, they rededicated it. On the 25th day of the month of Kislev in 164 BCE, the Temple was purified and rededicated.

According to tradition, when the Maccabees entered the Holy Temple, they discovered that the Greco-Syrians had defiled the oil which was used to Temple's menorah. Only one vat of purified oil remained - enough for only one day. It would take the Jews a week to process more purified oil. Then a miracle occurred. The Maccabees lit the menorah and it burned for not one, but eight days, by which time the new, purified oil was ready. This is why the Hanukkah Menorah has eight candles (not including the shamash candle used to light the others) and one reason why Jews celebrate Hanukkah for eight days.

Because She's Really is the Best!

Vote for Stephanie! (you will need realtime player to view the video. It can be downloaded from www.real.com for free if you don't have it.) I hope you can see it because her kids steal the video!

or skip the videos and go right to the voting. Just click on Stephanie and vote.

Sis #1 is once again the finalist in the Houston Texans Ultimate Fan Contest. She had to make a video about what it means to be a Texan.

She really is a great and true fan of the Texans. She writes not only one but two blogs about the Texans. One for the Houston Chronicle, and one for AOL Sports She knows more about sports and the Texans than most sports writers. And unlike bandwagon fans, my sister sticks by her team through thick and thin. She also dresses up, like a good Texas chica should, to every game and her closet is overflowing with different outfits and accessories. She's amazing.

But not only that, she really is a great person and a superfantastic sister.

I am a military brat. We used to move every 2-3 years. I think this is why my siblings and I are all so close. I feel particularly close to her because I've known her my whole life. Aside from some extended family, there aren't many people I can say that about. She, Sis #2 and I were all pregnant at the same time. We all have six year olds. When her son was about four months, I started babysitting for her. Our children are really close as well, and for the longest time Zoe referred to her cousins as her brothers and sisters.

When I got diagnosed last year, Sis' #1 and #2 came immediately over to the hospital. Sis #2 told me not to worry about Zoe and Sis #1 said she totally had my back. She stayed with me that first day until the next morning at 5am when I got my room over at MD Anderson.

The day after, she and her husband came in my room and told me that all I had to worry about was getting better. That I should not worry about finances, Zoe, paperwork, my job... nothing. That my sole job was to get better. I knew then that God had blessed me and that they really meant what they said.

And ever since then, they have proven it with their actions. Sis #1 helped me with my social security, medical insurance, financial issues, and any legal issues. I did my will, my divorce, my power of attorney, my advance directives, and my leave from work all in a matter of a few days (with the assistance of my sister's awesome best friend, and my attorney Diane aka my beloved Clem's daughter).

She brought me bean and cheese tacos from Taco Cabana when I had encephilitis (and I was all paranoid and hallucinating that the hospital food was poisoned). And she brought me funny videos, cheesy Star magazine reading for the many hours I spent on the granny can, Papasitos salads when I craved them, and in between chemos, she'd call at night and ask me if I needed anything. She arranged for my move to my med center apartment, and when I got home post-transplant, she recruited our lovely Bunko sisters to unpack and set up the place. She's a great mom. And she's damn funny too.

There is also a part in the video where she shows different hospitals in the Houston Med Center. She blows a kiss in front of the MD Anderson sign as a shoutout to me and the many others that never quit.

Anyway, I've always said that I must have done some good in a prior life because I got super lucky with my family. They are all superb people. I'm blessed.

So my debu_readers, here is an appeal for your vote. She has done so much for me my whole life, now I'd like to help her out just a little bit.

She's been in the finals every year they've had the contest, but has never won. If she wins the internet video voting, she will win a trip to the Superbowl in Miami.

It doesn’t say how many times you can vote, or when voting ends. (It has to end at least by December 31st, because that is when they announce the winners). Last time, they did voting until the very end. They said that the voting was very close and that each of the finalists were in the lead at least once).

I can do this. My sister is Texan Chick!!

So please. Your assignment for today is to please spread the word any friends, family or co-workers who have internet access.

Let me know if you have any questions.

Much love!

Merry Poopmas

and Happy Hannukapoo to Shoshie and my other lovely Jews. I guess also Happy Wintersolsticeturd and Happy Kwanzadoodie.

Looking over the Amazon Wishlizzles to see what is out there that I could get Zoe for Christmas. I got her a few books and some word puzzle / coloring things, but I figured Santa should actually bring her at least one toy. She mentioned Barbie (of course) and a Barbie car, even though she already has the pink Corvette.

So I stumble upon this:

Barbie Forever Barbie Doll with Tanner the Dog

According to the description:
This very special Barbie doll is accompanied by her pet dog Tanner. Tanner is soft and fuzzy, and his mouth, ears, head and tail move — just like a real dog. Tanner comes with a dog bone and chew toys, and you can open his mouth to "feed" him dog biscuits. When Tanner has to go to the bathroom, Barbie doll cleans up with her special magnetic scooper and trash can.

Tanner dog has movable mouth, ears, head and tail
Comes with doggie biscuits and a pooper scooper

What they are in a roundabout way of saying is that Tanner eats the "biscuits" and poops them out. Barbie then uses her magnetic scooper and trash can to pick them up.

buuuuut...

Barbie then magically converts them back into dog "biscuits" aka dookie biscuits for Tanner to eat and poop out again.

Um. Just like a real dog, Tanner eats his own feces.

I added it to my wish list based on the Amazon reviews:

1. I have never purchased a Barbie product...until now. I simply couldn't resist "Barbie & Tanner". I love this! It epitomizes everything I love and hate about America. Does this toy teach young girls moral lessons about the responsibilities of pet ownership and the importance of cleaning up their mess? Or, is it a classic blonde Barbie packaged together with a feces-eating devil dog? Who knows, and who cares. I'm sure the kids will enjoy it. I bought two. I gave one to the Toys for Tots drive, and plan on keeping the other for myself.. I can't wait to show the gang at work!

2. The sole (but mighty) justification for the purchase of this item is that it's so crude that it will almost certainly become a classic (and discontinued, of course) collector's item. You scoop the poops, the dog then eats then, et voila: more poops. Caveat emptor: get extra "food" items early on because they're almost certain to disappear into carpets or into real poops when kids eat them themselves.

3. The dog eats "dog biscuits", then expels them through a hole below the tail. Then the dog "eats" the expelled dog biscuits again. What is this supposed to teach? That dogs eat their own excrement? This is gross. My granddaughter picked out this Barbie in Toys R Us. Unfortunately, I did not read the discription of the toy on the package, if there was a description of a dog eating fecal material. I bought the doll because my granddaughter had earned a special treat and so far, I have had no reason to not trust Barbie. But this? I can not get over this disgusting toy. Everyone who sees it thinks it is totally gross.

That last one is my favorite. Can you imagine Granny unknowingly thinking she's buying "Madison," her sweet little granddaughter, a lovely little Barbie only to find out her dog eats the doodies?

I can do this. Because I know that someone out there is making a living thinking of toys like this.

Your assignment for today is to tell me about one of your favorite or most gross Christmas (or even birthday or whatever) present you received or saw.

Want to go on an extreme diet? Google poop (was looking for synonyms) and then look at the images page. There was one page that had a sound file that said "Poo Poo Man Liiiiiiives. Poo Poo Man Liiiiiiiiives. Pffffttttt."

But I did find some funny pictures

JLo. Just like us...

Jesus. Getting Jiggy with it...

I'm sorry. But your cat is POSSESSED!!!

Jesus. Cactus. *sorry*

I loves me some George Foreman!

and pinatas

Now that's an emergency

What a Year ... In Pictures Even

(edited to cut the music out. It was getting on my nerves)

As we, ok, I wind down this December...

Thank you Lord. Thank you Zoe. Thank you family. Thank you friends. Thank you my medical team & MD Anderson & Methodist. And Thank you internets. You've all blessed me so much.

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(hit the little gray button if you want to turn off the muse-kick. They didn't have much of a selection, but these songs went better with a slide show than some old-school, no name, chicken McNugget head hip-hop artist.)

I Think I Threw Up A Little in My Soul

Thanks to my favorite thread on the IRC for this gem "Horrorday" Card.

This is for Kami of the Dallas K's

Irony anyone?

a) what's up with the tie over the shoulder?
b) Guess Shrub couldn't put out his cig long enough to take the picture.
c) Marvin?
d) Jeb's got a fro.
e) Um. World at Peace? Since when?

And this link... Awesomeness!

Am I the Only One?

I heard that mom's shoes Christmas song the other day on our way to school.

I'm sorry, but that's a creepy-ass song.

Basically the kid is wanting to buy shoes for his mom because she's going to die soon and he wants her to look pretty for when she meets Jesus.

Zoe, if I'm ever dying, I want you to buy me an Arby's Super roast beef sammich with extra horsey sauce. Jesus likes me better barefoot anyway.

Newsong
The Christmas Shoes

It was almost Christmas time, there I stood in another line
Tryin' to buy that last gift or two, not really in the Christmas mood
Standing right in front of me was a little boy waiting anxiously
Pacing 'round like little boys do
And in his hands he held a pair of shoes

His clothes were worn and old, he was dirty from head to toe
And when it came his time to pay
I couldn't believe what I heard him say

Chorus:
Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there's not much time
You see she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes would make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight

He counted pennies for what seemed like years
Then the cashier said, "Son, there's not enough here"
He searched his pockets frantically
Then he turned and he looked at me
He said Mama made Christmas good at our house
Though most years she just did without
Tell me Sir, what am I going to do,
Somehow I've got to buy her these Christmas shoes

So I laid the money down, I just had to help him out
I'll never forget the look on his face when he said
Mama's gonna look so great

Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there's not much time
You see she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes would make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight

Bridge:
I knew I'd caught a glimpse of heaven's love
As he thanked me and ran out
I knew that God had sent that little boy
To remind me just what Christmas is all about

Repeat Chorus

Fluidy Woman

I woke up and coughed for nearly an hour. I felt like caca.

So I called my doc and they made me come in. They tested all my fluids - spit, snot, urine, blood and then did another chest x-ray (they did one last week & it was clear). I bet I lost at least 3 pounds from giving up my fluids.

I have an itchy rash too.

I'm falling apart. So I slept most of the afternoon. It's been a while since I did that.

Elvis now has a cold too. Everyone has gotten this crap. The doc said that I probably had some virus that has inflamed my brochia or something like that. He told me I'd be sick for two to three more weeks. Fun.

Other than the cold and the rash, I feel pretty good. I love the cooler weather.

Zoe's on the phone with her dad. She wants to go to see him and see snow. She whispered to him "Can I go see you tomorrow?" He has to work Christmas day so he's not sure when he can come visit. He was either going to come here and hang out or come here and bring Zoester back with him. I wish he hadn't said anything to her until his plans were finalized. Especially since he says he has some clothes and toys for her and was going to send her. He's been needing to send them since summer.

I've been Christmas shopping this year already - but most of it's online. I went to this one outlet store and I think it aggrevated my cough because it was so dusty. It was also booby trapped as when you picked up one thing on the shelf, all this other stuff would fall off. I like online shopping, but I'm not going to get her a lot this year. I feel like I pretty much give her Christmas year round. And I'm trying to save up my money. I think my biggest expense is my Starbucks. Since the spinal taps, if I don't drink one cup every morning, I get awful headaches and am totally worthless for the rest of the day. But I also have been making my own at home. Not quite the same, but it works.

Ok. I can do this. Even lacking the fluids, I'm all over it.

Your assignment today is to do something in the holiday spirit. Even if you just celebrate like winter solstice, I want you to eat some candy, bake some cookies, go for a walk in the cold all bundled up, start a fire in the fireplace or mail someone a real letter. Zoe likes mail. Send one to her.

Elvis is on a business trip and will be gone on and off for a few months in training. Today is the first day since we met that we didn't see eachother. I miss you, but the plan is the plan. At least have some fun there.

*smooches* to all of you. Especially you.

I have

Hair envy.

Mine is growing like weeds, but it's all um.. weird. I'm wanting *whispers* a wig. I look, seriously - no joke, like Alfalfa. It actually looks cooler when I first wake up and it's all sticking up. But when I actually *try* to make it look cute - hair disaster.

A message from the Awesome Amanda:

Hello all,

--
Amanda

Amanda is the chica who I am working on raising the million bucks with. So a donation to that site counts as well.

My cold is really kind of kicking my butt. The meds aren't working very well, but I have a followup with my clinic on Thurs.

Anyway, I started this entry this morning and then lost my wireless. I'm tired, but will post more this week. I've been slacking.

Much love. Especially to you.